Self gratification, p***, online interaction

@CatDaddy60 I see you wrote a thread and opened up a bit ❤ well done I'm really proud of you. Yes there are many people in here struggling with this addiction. I don't generally answer this sort of post, cause I don't really know how to help others with this. But your an exception and 'm rooting for you all the way ❤  how bad is the addiction? And how desperate do you wanna quit? Or don't you want to quit? I'd like to support you if I can ❤ hugs you tightly ❤

@Tinywhisper11 Thanks for the encouragement.  Can we chat in Pen Pals, maybe a bit more discreet to share some hard things?

@CatDaddy60 I just set up a place for us ❤

@CatDaddy60

I think addiction is hard to fight by yourself. Why don't you see a therapist. There are also therapists at 7Cups but I think to see one in real life would be better for you. Then you also could be in a group with persons with addiction in their behavior I think.

Hello Helga, thank you for taking time to reply. Yes it is hard to grapple by yourself which is a strange paradoxical thing. I have to be careful with interactions online because I will try to sexualize them. I may start out meaning well but I know that I can drift into manipulation to try to get some gratification out of it. That was one of the things that developed over time from an innocent 14 year old boy looking at magazines to the internet age that open the opportunity for all kinds of behavior. I did see a therapist in person once but was largely unsatisfied by the experience plus I have had gotten shaking so badly by being caught in some behavior that I was able to walk a generally positive path. That was 10 years ago and This Owen is has reared his head again.

@CatDaddy60

@Helgafy thank you for sharing all of that with me, I had some glimpse of Tiny's background but this really helps me understand. Yes the p*** industry is exploitative and destructive to people's lives physically emotionally spiritually anyway you look at it. That's part of my struggle is I recognize with a sensitive part of me all of the things I just said, but I fight with this self-serving monster Within Me too. Same way with things that happen in online situations. I'm 64 years old but this struggle feels as new to me today as it was 40 years ago. I like your tone, attitude, perspective yes it lands some accountability which is what I believe is needed. The Owen business was a voice to text mistake, I have a distinctive accent that the voice program doesn't always pick up well. But yes, the issue is that bad things have happened again.

@Helgafy also, to answer a question I believe you posted somewhere, is that I'm part of the United Methodist church, and as it relates to lgbtq inclusiveness, I believe in your Lutheran tradition there was an actual split in the church over the issue. We in the UMC did not split in a way to create two separate denominations, but more or less fragmented with churches and people going different directions, I'm still part of the UMC which is proceeding on the Progressive path.

@CatDaddy60
The Lutheran Church is the main church in Norway. We have a bishop (who is homosexual) and also woman priest who are married to another woman (as your daughter). A few years ago it was seperated from the state, but the state still give wages to the churches.

@Helgafy I appreciate your advocacy for tiny, I think she is an amazing person and have no intention of harming her. Her sincerity and hospitality has been something that has stepped along with me being as open as a have been. I appreciate your outlook and support.

@CatDaddy60

lol - maybe it's the mother-love (I have no children of my own!) trying to protect Tiny from all harm - lol. But she's a big girl so she can look after herself also. I pray for her each day. What I want for her now (sorry Tiny - talking about you here!) is that more of her fear can go away so that her careers can take her away from the home where she's living to see towns, people, landscape and everything that's out there. She was held inside a house all those years in the US. 

@Helgafy, would you happen to be a Listener?  I could use an accountability partner right now. I know you can see through BS and speak truth. 

@CatDaddy60

Hi.

Yes I understand and I didn't mean to imply I could impose myself upon you. Nonetheless what you're doing here in these interactions is very helpful and appreciated.

@CatDaddy60
@Tinywhisper11

Hi cat and Tiny.

Thank you helga, this one was in the devotion for today in The Upper Uoom:

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

The part that isn't in there, which is the part I'm struggling with is to forgive myself. I'm getting better at that. Nonetheless, for those that I have struggled to forgive I'm trying to get better at as well. All parts of the healing that has to go on.

@CatDaddy60 fogivness towards our selves and others is very hard. Mixed up with the emotions of shame and self blame, forgivness towards myself is what I need to learn. Maybe oneday ❤

@CatDaddy60

Yes - many persons here at 7Cups have trouble in forgiving themselves and others. I can understand that if the world has been very hard for/with them. But we're all are loved by God/Jesus Christ. He bore the punishment of our sins on himself on the cross so that we can be free from guilt, shame and love ourselves.. So we're united with the Holy one.

@Helgafy thanks helgafy ❤ those bible quotes made me smile🙂❤ and I'm always striving to move forward. It's not easy but I have God in my corner ❤ and I have you ❤❤