What living in a state of dissociation can feel like - anonymous
Hello everyone,
Some of us might have already experienced it, others haven't - a dissociation. Dissociations can be part of multiple conditions and feel different for every person. Today, we have the honour to read what living in a state of dissociation can feel like for one of our members. Please share your thoughts regarding this topic and appreciation for the anonymous author under the post.
What living in a state of Dissociation can feel like - anonymous
For me, living and being in a state of Dissociation feels like being asleep and dreaming. It makes me unsure of whether I am in the present or just being in a state of confusion, or if how I am feeling is a blast from the past. Oftentimes, I experience knowing how and where I am going, but when I dissociate what was familiar becomes vague, and I am in a state of confusion, most of the time it is only for a short period of time.
I find that I am very good at staying under the radar of revealing these symptoms when I am with others. This makes me feel so unreal and embarrassed, most of the time I can play it off. I find that I do a lot of covering up symptoms because of the shame and the reactions I have gotten from other people.
I recently got this diagnosis late last year and really just thought I was losing my mind. I knew it was time to seek help, but my past experiences kept me from doing so. There are times that I still deal with denial of this condition because of the stigma attached to having DID and the fact that I had been telling the medical professionals of my symptoms, and I was just drugged up and dismissed as psychotic.
Other times I feel like I am underwater, things just seem blurred and unreal sort of like swimming underwater, I also have times when I am just visually watching like a movie of various move frames passing before my eyes which make little sense to me. One thing that I have noticed is that my dissociation gets worse when I am stressed.