Thoughtful Thursday: Perfectionism

Thoughtful Thursday: Perfectionism

What are some signs of Perfectionism?

A person who is a perfectionist always strives for perfection. They believe everything has to be done right or it’s not enough. They deal with lots of fear and are constantly on-edge of not wanting to make mistakes. They are high achievers, but they may never reach their unrealistic goals. Michael Phelps is known to have won eight gold medals at the Olympics only to then crash and receive a diagnosis of depression because he was too hard on himself.

Making mistakes is a part of learning and growing. There is no such thing as perfect. There is a saying "practice makes perfect" but this isn't true. Practice makes things more routine and permanent, which leads to growing and becoming better at things, but perfection is not possible. It’s not about how tidy, clean or well-arranged something is. What is important is achieving a goal that is realistic.

10 Signs You May Be a Perfectionist

• All or Nothing Thinking: Perfectionists make high goals and if perfection is not met it’s not good enough.
• Being Highly Critical: Perfectionists are more expectant of themselves and others than high achievers. They pinpoint imperfections and have trouble seeing other valuable issues.
• Feeling Pushed by Fear: Perfectionists seem to be pushed toward their goals by fear of not achieving them, whereas high achievers are pulled more by a desire.
• Having Unrealistic Standards: Perfectionists set their goals out of reach, while high achievers may set high goals out of fun.
• Focusing Only on Results: High achievers enjoy chasing goals, but perfectionists see the goal and nothing else.
• Feeling Depressed by Unmet Goals: Perfectionists wallow in negativity when their goals are not met, but high achievers move on quickly.
• Fear of Failure: Perfectionists are much more afraid to fail than high achievers. It makes it hard to begin new things when wallowing in failure.
• Procrastination: Fear of failure keeps perfectionists immobile to do anything.
• Defensive: They can’t take constructive criticism because being anything less than perfect is scary.
• Low Self-Esteem: Perfectionists seem to have low self-esteem because they are overly critical of themselves. They may also be overly critical of others which can push others away.

Questions

1. What can be done when perfection escalates?
2. Do you believe there are ways to accept your natural tendencies as a perfectionist and still achieve your goals?

Sources

Scott, E. (2022). 10 Signs You May Be a Perfectionist. https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233.

Smith, A. (2013). Overcoming Perfectionism. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc.

McGrath, P. B. (2011). Practice Does Not Make Perfect. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dont-try-harder-try-different/201104/practice-does-not-make-perfect.

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