coming out - let's talk about it!

As many of you may already know, October 11th is national coming out day!

Coming out is a unique experience for each and every one of us, and it is a different experience depending on who we decide to come out to, as well. To many, coming out can be very difficult, as well as impossible, due to various reasons such as religion, homophobia, and controversy.

Coming out as an LGB+ folk:

Revealing your LGB+ identity to other people can be both a critical and stressful situation. Some LGB+ folks may feel little to no need to reveal their identity, whereas others feel the desire to tell others as soon as they realize it themselves. Both of these decisions are valid and understandable.

Here are a few/possible answers to some questions you may be asking:

How can I tell others?

There are many ways you can tell others that you’re LGB+! You may choose to have a conversation, either in person or on the phone or you may write to people via letter, email or text. Some people decide to live openly and not tell others until they notice or decide to ask. If you just want to tell someone, but don't want to engage in a discussion or conversation yet, it could be helpful to instead write out what you want to say and send it to the desired person via email or text message. That way, if they respond, you can choose when and how to read and engage with their response.

What do I do if someone reacts badly?

Not everyone will react positively. Our world is changing, but not everyone is there yet. What’s important is that you know your truth and that you don’t let other people's uninformed opinions direct your own narrative. You know who you are, and that is enough. It will be hard, but many more people will accept you than you may expect. Focus your energy on them because they are the ones that are worth it. After you’ve come out to others, you may feel lighter, heavier, happier, angrier, many of these emotions or none at all. But you will be one step closer to being yourself. You can also shift your level of openness over time, depending on your comfort level. The journey is completely your own, and your choices ultimately belong to you. Your primary responsibility is to take care of yourself — so make the choices that will keep you healthy and at peace.

Coming out as a trans/non-binary folk:

There is no “right” time in your transitioning process to disclose. What’s important is that you disclose to whoever you want at the times that are right for you. Unfortunately, choosing when and how to disclose can sometimes be a matter of personal safety. Your personal safety and comfort should always be your highest priority.

Always remember: you are on a journey that is uniquely yours and can unfold at your own pace. You, and only you, get to decide how to live it.

Here is an answer to a question you may be asking:

Who should I tell first?

Who you disclose to first can be a critical decision. You may want to select people who you suspect will be most supportive, as their support can help you share with others. Consider who might be your champion — is it a close friend or colleague, your favorite teacher or professor, a parent or sibling, or another trusted person in your life? Is it someone else in your life who also identifies as transgender, non-binary, or some other LGBTQ+ identity?

A little touch on history:

In the past decades, coming out was way harder than it is now - there was no representation at all and the whole concept of the LGBTQ+ community was limited knowledge to mostly minorities - and LGBTQ+ people themselves, as well as there, was way, way more discrimination.

Questions:

If you’re a person who has come out, how did it feel for you?

If someone came out to you, how did you react? How did you handle the situation?

What do you think about coming out in older years? How did it affect the people back then?

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