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@GlenM Wow Glen . ..this post is so moving to read. I couldn't agree more with the adult child connection. We all need support and caring people to help us to feel secure and stable. Maslow 's Law comes to mind. Without the basic need of love ...we don't survive mentally/physically . Also , thank you for addressing the sponsor idea. Totally agree that having a trusted caring listener can lead to a better way to overcome any situation one might be going through. I already have experienced two separate occasions when I have needed a listener and both never even answered me after typing my situation. Talk about compounding the intensity of my situation. The first listener I engaged with was fabulous (it was also their first day). Such a caring person who I am so grateful to know .We chat often.
Thank you Glen for providing this site where we can all come to help others as we benefit from being helped ourselves. Powerful. Big hugs to you and all the tea elves.😆.Sometimes our cups can feel like china- delicate but strong 💟
Look forward to further details coming.
@GlenM
That is a Stupendous plan Glen and will yield amazingly fruitful results n repercussions.
Am keen to be a Sponsor and I will be on the lookout for your posts on it.
@GlenM
I think it would help to create a Chatroom or a Menu Tab for this specific project.
People seem to think it's an automated "progam".
Maaaybe because of the word "program" 😞
@GlenM how do I request a sponsor? is this program actually active?
I'm loving the idea!
The only thing I am not so sure about is how this will truly mean support for members, a long term kind of thing, if there is no outside contact allowed? Just hear me out. I respect this rule and get it with all my heart however I believe this system must be created in a way in which the member will be able to form the proper relationship (or better said partnership / sponsorship) with the sponsor in which they agree to check in but be able to be on their own entirely in their outside of 7 cups world. Sponsors are people you start depending on and if not managed carefully it can be kind of dangerous as to how members might look at it as they cannot be supported outside of 7 cups too.
It will also need to be created a set of terminology on 7 cups as sponsor may be confused with mentor as it's pretty similar outside of 7 cups. I don't think the sponsor should focus only on helping the member with their path on 7 cups but on any other matters they agree with the member at the start of their sponsorship.
I'd also say we need to agree on a set of requirements of who can and cannot be a sponsor depending on their experience with listening and on 7 cups. Not on popularity but purely on how great they've been with AL and 1-1 chats. There are many of us out here that don't get in the spotlight so often as they aren't involved in projects or other things than 1-1 chats.
Also, we might need to look for sponsors experienced on different kind of struggles: drinking issues, drugs, etc. People who can really support a person in those specifics and not just listen ... if u get my idea.
So yeah. Curious to see how it will all be organised. I can't say I'm that experienced in any matter besides how to overcome bullying / mobbing but I'd love to stay close to this new idea and participate in outlining the requirements and stuff.
@cristiana33
I have a couple of regular members who message me months later to inform me of how things are going and I'm okay with that. I would happily take on a couple long term members, but I wouldn't be comfortable for them to be able to contact me outside of 7 Cups. Some people do get clingy, even just on 7 Cups so I would become agitated if the person contacted me several times a day. Also as a moderator who recieves a lot of abuse and hate, it opens me up to being trolled/harassed/stalked outside of 7 Cups and then the site could no longer protect me. They can get enough long term support here at 7 Cups, when we're available and ready to listen.
"There are many of us out here that don't get in the spotlight so often as they aren't involved in projects or other things than 1-1 chats." I agree!
@SilentSerenityy
i agree with this not having offsite contact. how will we be able to do self care if we will still be contacted off site? even sometimes just one day stepping away from 7 cups is good for self care and i dont see how it could negatively impact that sponser relationship if not being able to reach your sponser for 1 or 2 days due to self care.
@P1x1e I don't think Glen mentioned anything about outside contact. From what I read, it's just online for the 7cups commnity.
@Shanti41 i was replying on cristiana's post that asked for offline contact 
@SilentSerenityy
I sooooo love hearing back from people who I have supported for awhile, and they pm me saying how things are for them. That they dont use 7cups as much, really only to check up on a few people and listeners. I call those my "butterflies" cause they are doing wonderful in their life now
@RumpleSteeleSkin - aww, i have a few butterflies too and it is always nice to hear from them
@RumpleSteeleSkin I love the term 'butterflies' for members who have grown their wings :) It is the BEST feeling when one comes back to say hello :)
@cristiana33 I actually agree. It isn't hard to set up an alternate email and I would love to do so for some of the members that I can continually talk to and have for months. Shouldn't we be able to make the decision if we want to trust someone? I get not exchanging any huge personal info, but if me and them trust each other to talk about almost anything else, I think I could trust them with an email not even tied to anything besides my first name.
@GlenM I am really looking forward the new updates! I will stay tunned :D
@cristiana33 Great points you called attention to. I am interested in seeing how it will be developed while taken to account your feedback. :)
@GlenM Holy Macaroni! Wow. I'm a person that really likes to see things through. I was raised that if you start something, finish it. I've been working with most of my members for nearly a year. Some just about 3 months. I know some have told me that its time for my members to move on and such but I know these people have bonded with me, we have a rapport. I've listened to some of them through some of the most harrowing experiences of their lives. I didn't feel like I could bail on them... I almost felt guilty about not taking on more members. Like I wasn't really doing my part. But here you are talking about Sponsorship. WOW what a relief. I will keep an eye out. And thank you for reinforcing the idea that I can listen until there's a mutual parting of the ways. You rock.
Glen thank you for this well thought out plan for 7cups to improve and support in a whole new way. Just a few things though.
* The word "Sponsor" maybe change that to ummm suporter. Sponsor to many holds alot of committment and that is questionable.
* Many of listeners here as well as myself have several long term members that we already give this support to. So why the change?
Many listeners here have many "friendships" that both listener and members have built over time. Yes some concerns are boundaries, over dependant as well as the listener may cross some rules over the friendship. But as this topic has been floating around 7cups, is it really healthy to have all these long term friendships with members? Do we want them to stay attached to 7cups or actually built their real lifes? Not saying some dont-but how are we making 7cups healthy and not a place for codependency on an onlinie site?
Just thoughts many of us share on 7cups
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I agree with your points. I'm not sure "sponsor" is the right word to use either. When I first read this, I thought it was to do with financially sponsoring 7 Cups, not "sponsoring" members, which doesn't make much sense either. Sponsoring says financial to me.
@SilentSerenityy I actually clicked the link to this forum thread because I interpreted "sponsor" as a hint Glen was going to sell ads on the site! The main reason he's using the word is it's role in the AA program. But outside that context it does indeed usually mean things very different from what he's proposing here!
@SilentSerenityy
haha I thought so as well, till Laura explained it better. I think it is a good idea
that Glenn thought of. I do know over half the listeners here do have long term members already. And maybe now we can go a bit further on how we chat with our mmbers who we obviously have a connection/relationship/friendship. I know for mine I do set goals, and things and we go beyound just chatting and listening. Id like to see what the next step is going to be.
And yes the word SPONSOR so needs to change
@RumpleSteeleSkin Sponsorship is not the same as friendship. There is some distance. For example, I don't hang out with my 12step sponsor but I message her about personal issues, to ask for guidance, to vent, or for help. That's really the only purpose. If you already have those relationships that's great, and maybe you can just call them your sponsees when this program starts?
As for me, I haven't developed any relationships with anyone on here whether as a listener or a member but I'd like to.
I am so happy you said not every listener HAS to do this. I will be honest. Bac when I started I used to have regulars. But my experience was it turned stressful or clingy or almost co-dependant. So if you are not FORCED into it, I don't really care if others do. What I want to know is will there be an easy, visual way for members to see the listeners use of this system. Meaning will there be a big badge or bright button or words up top that say "this listener does not tae long term members?" Or "this member IS taing long term members at this time." Thats all I want to see. Because I don't want there to be any misundestanding!
@AndyDufresne1994
BTW I am looking into why my K button seems to be taking a break! SORRY!!!
@AndyDufresne1994
I agree. Many listeners who are unable to commit can provide helpful input here and there but wouldn't want to feel obligated. Some of us deal with having a lot less "spoons" of energy than what people without depression and high anxiety experience so literally physically can't do more than take care of themselves intermittently and would only show up here when there is a surplus of "spoons" in their reservoir to pass on what they've learned so far.
(See "spoon theory" link if unaware of what the term means: https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ )
@CoinFountain
Yes, I agree totally. I found 7 Cups because I was in the middle of a dark and horrid depression. I am good NOW, but who knows down the road? I found that if I got too attached to a member and their issues I got worse myself. So I guess all I ask is this is a system you CAN say NO too if you feel like it. Plus make it easy for a member so see "this listener DOES NOT do long term care" PERIOD.
@CoinFountain Not just depression and anxiety, so many other conditions too!
@GlenM I am so happy to FINALLY see this hapoening. I think it will make 7Cups stronger tgan anyone ever imagined. Abd since it already is well that's saying alot. THANK YOU from me and on behalf of the members I kniw feel thus is a wonderful thing.
@Justhere2listn spory for typos as I am excited. But I have a unique perspective on this idea I think.. as I am a permanently disabled person and have focused on trying to be here for that particular part of the community here. This is a good thing from my perspective because myh issues and yhe issues of many meds of the disability community aere not going to get better or pass in time. We tend to become isolated as our conditions progess and to have SOMEONE who is willing to commit to being there is something many need even if its just to say hi..n know you will get a response.
I do think there should be some sort of qualifying process though. Even in AA you are supposed to have worked all 12 steps through at least once before you try to take on the support role. I'm a long time member of AA and 12step bases programs. Its one of the reasons I like 7Cups...there is a path,,ie guide you can follow... having someone who has walked the path once n can guide you through the rough stops can do so much for both the people involved..cus essentially you are taking a step TOGETHER .
Speaking out your heart helps.
A good listener aids in getting relief and healing
@GlenM OMG I love this idea so much!!! I am the listener who has a few long time members and I can see that connecting with the same listener again and again makes them feel better. I would love to take a part in this project <3
P.S. I don't know why but I liked this quote so much, even if that's not the point of the article: "Parents are like gas stations. Kids get their tanks filled up, feel safe, and then go explore. Kids need extra fill up time when they are tired, stressed, sick, or scared."
@RaCat I agree. A lot of my regulars seem to enjoy being able to connect with the same listener and I try my best to stay in touch and message them at least a few times a week. I find myself sometimes taking on the role of e-sibling - haha - but only to those who seem to want it.
@Dawn04 saaaame!! I think there are people who just dont have anyone to talk with thats why they came here and its important to keep in touch with them ♡
@RaCat I agree. And to be honest, it's nice to continue talking with anyone who chooses to do so - and especially those who may share issues that I can relate to, like anxiety. I think it ends up being mutually beneficial.
@Dawn04 yeah you are right. And I think long time listening is also good because they dont need to explain the situation again and again and we already know what kind of things they are dealin with :)
This sounds interesting, but I'm confused as to how it would apply here. I've not had personal experience with AA, but from what I know the people there have the same main issue - AA is about alcohol abuse, there are different programs like NA for other substances. Sponsers are further along in their recovery than their sponsees
With 7 cups the issues people face are diverse - is this program going to be something available to everyone here? Or only certain issues? Even within the AA model which is more specific I've not heard of sponsors for people within the Al Anon program. Searching suggests it exists, but there seems to be way less about it.
Not all listeners disclose their personal issues, is this something that will be required for them to be a sponsor? If not, are people going to be paried based on issues or not?
Also related to that is where people are in their 'recovery' - recovery isn't even a good term for everything here IMO.
I would assume that within 7 cups the person isn't to expect 24/7 access, the way AA encourages sponsees to contact their sponsor whenever needed.
I do agree with what others have said above, the sponsor term isn't the best. I came in here assuming there was some sponsorship deal with a business or something similar to that. I like the term supporter, as mentor is already being used..
@AffyAvo
I agree with you it's a great idea but
Sponsor just isn't the right word,
It has altogether different connotation....
I would rethink the term.
@GlenM Regarding reaching out for help, NPR posted an interesting article yesterday about how most people around the world who suffer from depression don't reach out for help because of the stigma around mental illness. Here's the link to the article: http://n.pr/2gUJYnY
Sponsor model is great but I'm not sure if it fits with 7 cups. If it was to be implemented it would need to be altered and modified a great deal and I'm not sure if it would make it loose a lot of its efficiency as a result.
Something at the core of the AA model is that sponsor has personal experience of recovery and is following the same program as the person they mentor, they are further ahead. I suppose many listeners have personal experience of recovery but it is not Universal. Also sharing your personal details and circumstances is core to the sponsor relationship. I don't know how well this can be replicated online, particularly if we are going to maintain the rules about not sharing personal details.
DOI: Involved with AA professionally, tea total.
@Belis Thanks for sharing that. Good to hear someone who is involved with AA has similar questions.
I'd like to hear more about how the 7cups model would work!
