Check-in, Depression Support, 1-7 January 2023
Hello, fellow members of the Depression Support Community!
- How has December been for you? What were your feelings during December, particularly the last two weeks?
- How is January starting? What are you feeling right now?
- How do you imagine this month will be for you? A month like any other? Or with some distinctive characteristics and emotions?
I look forward to your comments.
All the best!
Marcelo.
- How has December been for you? What were your feelings during December, particularly the last two weeks? December was full of good news and surprises. Ended 2022 on a good note. The feelings were kind of mixed as I felt happy cuz of the good news I got and also felt excited for 2023.
- How is January starting? What are you feeling right now? I am feeling great as I look forward to many great things that gonna happen this year.
- How do you imagine this month will be for you? A month like any other? Or with some distinctive characteristics and emotions? I am going to start with a job at my new workplace. I am positive about it but even if something goes wrong, I am gonna be alright — that's my mindset.
What about you?
@HealingTalk
@lyricalAngel70
Hy lovely Angel!
Thank you for your prompt answer, coming here to share your feelings and experiences.
I am glad that you could fully enjoy the "Holiday Spirit" of these days, feeling happy and optimistic about the new year.
Also, that you got important good news that bring you hope for great things to come during 2023
i wish you the best of lucks at your new job.
May you have a kind boss and nice coworkers, in a pleasant environment, doing fulfilling and satisfying work.
Regarding myself, the transition was smooth, rekindling connections with loved ones, feeling their warmth around me. Also a peaceful time, full of good feelings.
Thank you again for coming here!
I wish you all the best!
Marcelo.
Thank you so much for that much-needed motivation and your kindness. ♥️
I am truly delighted to hear that you had a smooth transition. Wishing you the best of health, happiness and success this year !! 💜
Love,
-Angel
@HealingTalk
@lyricalAngel70
You are so sweet and lovely!
You always surprise me.
Always sweet beyond my expectations.
You are a very special person.
I am glad we have crossed our paths.
I hope to see you soon!
Marcelo
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️@HealingTalk
- December is always pretty difficult, I’m one who has increased mental irregularity in the winter so it’s always a bit of a battlefield. I will say though that the last two weeks have been very calming, a good mental reset away from all my normal stressors as I spend time with my loved ones
- January is starting fine. I know it will get a little rocky towards the middle as I acknowledge the anniversary of a loved ones passing, but I know I am not alone and will ultimately make it out just fine. There may just be some turbulence on the way though, haha
- Kinda addressed this in 2, I’ll most likely be dealing with pretty substantial grief as this is the first year without him, so I’m just. Gonna try and keep my head up best I can.
i hope everyone had a wonderful holidays, please take care of yourselves <3
@lambkin
Hi, Lambkin!
I am glad that you could enjoy some very calming weeks at the end of the year, enjoying time with your loved ones, away from working days stressors,
All these despite the seasonal effects of winter on your mood.
I see that January is not in itself problematic to you as the first month of the year.
But it's a month of grieving.
Grieving is painful but unavoidable, necessary, and ultimately healing.
It will help that you are surrounded by caring loved ones that will support you in those sad days to come.
Thank you so much for your good wishes!
All the best!
Marcelo.
@HealingTalk
Hi, Marcelo,
Happy New Year to you!
- How has December been for you? What were your feelings during December, particularly the last two weeks? December sucked. My feelings were of abandonment, betrayal, not understanding, hating the weather, fear, and being sick.
- How is January starting? What are you feeling right now? I've had lots of help with my grad school applications and that made me feel good. However, I need one more person to write me a recommendation and I don't know who to ask. I'm going to end up asking my new boss and that will be awkward because we barely know each other. I also have still been sick, so I haven't gotten done a lot of things that need to be done. So I feel overwhelmed.
- How do you imagine this month will be for you? A month like any other? Or with some distinctive characteristics and emotions? I imagine January will be a month like any other in the respect that I will be "in the weeds." But it will have distinction as I'm waiting to hear about a volunteer job in a local library. And my emotions are always a roller coaster.
@purpleTree4652
Hi, lovely Tree!
How nice to see you again!
How sad you had such a bad December. A combination of family issues and this year's tough winter weather, I guess. You are such a kind, loving person. You will be surrounded by good, caring people at some point. In that respect, it's significant that you got so much help with your grad school applications. You inspire good feelings, and a willingness to help.
If your new boss is the only one left, go for it! He might be happy to help. He will have the satisfaction of giving a lot of help with very little effort. A great deal, I think.
You are a life warrior, you have successfully overcome so many adversities... January will be another month of struggle, as you say, but success seems near on various fronts.
And your life has been a roller coaster lately, so rollercoaster emotions seem to be expected for such a sensitive person as you are.
Despite it all, you have managed to open multiple paths to move forward in your life. You keep trying new things, always giving your best efforts. Never giving up.
I admire you a lot for that.
You will eventually be rewarded for all those efforts. I wish you that all your projects come to fruition soon, and that, as a result, 2023 becomes a great year, full of achievements, satisfaction, peace, and a heartwarming social life.
Cheers to that! 🍸🍸
I wish you all the best!
Marcelo.
@HealingTalk. December has been horrible this year, so much worse than in the past. My life changed 27 years ago when my 18 month old daughter was diagnosed with stage 4s neuroblastoma. I watched helplessly as they kicked the *** of of her 6 times with different chemo cocktails, she was the third person in the world to receive a stem cell transplant ... "what we want to do to your child could kill her ... here sigh this consent." and had her first day of radiation treatments on her second birthday.
She survived and we had a fantastic relationship it seemed. She'd tell me things she'd never tell her Mom and I was there when her first boyfriend broke her heart,
She got involved with an extremely rich ... ultra extremely rick who was using her as jewelry and a mule bringing US funds into Canada. She told me of a time where I believe she could have been taken into human smuggling. I spoke out and told her Mom the dangerous situation this groomer was putting our daughter in. I'm now the bad guy and my daughter hasn't spoken to me in almost three years.
@1AlTruistic1
Hi!
Thank you for coming here to share such moving experiences in your life.
Christmas and New Year's Eve can be a nightmare for someone that has lost contact with the person they love the most. Particularly, as in your case, after having such a dramatic and emotionally intense life together as father and daughter.
The fact that she cut intentionally all communication with you, after a lifetime of so much love, must be excruciatingly painful.
Life has such random twists and turns, that might leave us in desperate situations, then pure bliss, then terrible again. Anything can happen. This can be so disheartening.
Deep inside, she has memories of all those years together. She might be repressing them now. But at some point, those might resurface and, when she matures and the influence of her mother dwindles, she might decide to re-establish contact with you.
In the meanwhile, you must take care of yourself, with therapy, developing other areas of your life, and cultivating other emotional attachments.
I hope that, as your daughter matures, sooner than later, she decides to make contact with you again, and re-establish a normal daughter-father connection.
I wish you all the luck in the world with that!
All the best!
Marcelo
When I’m not drunk, I’m depressed. I’m hating life and I can’t focus on anything. I can’t even sleep it off because I wake up depressed. I hate you all. You all look at me as someone who doesn’t try. Why should I? Nothing ever works. I’m a broke young adult who can barely afford food let alone a trained counselor, not like I ever had one that was helpful. I’m about at the 7/10 willing to end it. I just need the final motivation and then I can go into it while telling you all to eat rocks. What’s the point of living? I don’t care anymore. I absolutely don’t see anymore.
@Server8462
Hello Server!
It's great to see you again here.
You are a very appreciated member of this Community.
You have been participating consistently, sharing your feelings and life experiences with great honesty. This is very valuable to us.
Through what you told us in those posts, you have overcome many challenges, both internal and external, and always moved forward.
I admire that in you.
Depression sucks. It makes us see everything as meaningless, our life projects worthless, and it blocks our view of the good things all around us.
There is meaning and value in the things we might do in life. There are good things in our life, even small things. It's tough to see them when we have depression.
And treating depression is a big challenge, and takes time.
I wish you that you continue overcoming the difficulties that you face in your life.
And at the same time, that you get better from the depression that hurts you so much.
I appreciate you a lot.
See you soon, Server!
Marcelo.
I have never once thought that you didn't try. You are fighting a battle against a tremendous monster. Waking up is trying and that is enough some days.
Never underestimate what you have already accomplished in the battle. @Server8462
December was very difficult for me. Christmas was my mom's favorite holiday & she passed in 2020 and things haven't been the same since.
January started off very emotional because I told myself I would actually feel my emotions instead of trying to bottle them up. I'm imagining that this month is going to be filled with lots of change and learning new skills to cope that I can hopefully use all the time.
@aeveson
Hi Aeveson!
And welcome to this Community!
Thank you for coming to this check-in!
I am sorry that you had such a sad Christmas
While being widely considered a happy occasion, for many people it is a time of grieving, because Christmas is a family get-together celebration, so it hurts when someone very loved is missing. The contrast with past happy celebrations when they were present, really hurts.
The decision to feel the emotions instead of repressing them is a very healthy one, I think.
And feeling those emotions will give you the motivation for your plan to learn and establish some regular practices to deal with strong feelings.
Congratulations for that!
I wish you a fruitful January, in terms of learning and establishing healthy emotional self-care habits.
All the best!
Marcelo.
I am having my usual problems this december.
I have been staying up on my phone too late into the night watching youtube. I'm a youtube addict.
I had two sexual interactions with people that were not good (press on me to have unprotected sex and I let it happen) One of those people is owing me money and not paying it back and I am broke (and I gave it to them)
At least the next time somebody was trying that on me I did not allow it
I have been barely getting anything done, always the bare minimum since I had this "breakdown" or something in music university two years ago
At least I was still pulling myself together to practice a little and keep my instrument in shape and I got back to listening to some music
I got into cold showers and Wim Hof breathing exercises, I was eating very healthy as usual so that is at least something and doing some isometroc exercise
For the next three months I have someplace to live that is good
I feel very strange and lonely and I feel this darkness I want to be in the light but I don't know how to get there
@Seacu
Hello, Seacu!
Welcome to 7 Cups and our Community!
Thank you for coming to this check in, and write such a thoughtful post.
You seem to be a very interesting person, with a rich personality and many great skills and tools for developing yourself.
You seem to be struggling with setting healthy boundaries, but moving towards winning this battle. It might influence your emotional health, your self-esteem, and your image of yourself, so it's worth the effort.
There are great things on Youtube, by the way, among a lot of garbage. As a musician, you might appreciate how many first-class performances you can watch. I have also noticed many record companies are making available entire albums of the highest quality, all for free.
What instrument do you play? It's keyboards, strings, wind instrument?
A good way to keep the practice is the "5 minute rule" (or 10, 15 minutes) You make the discipline to practice 5 minutes a day, every day, ideally at the same hour. The obligation is 5 minutes, but sometimes, once the inertia is broken, you will make it longer. And what's important is to establish the habit of daily practice. For establishing a habit, 5 minutes is enough. But make it every day.
Listening to music, besides all the great benefits it has on our grain and our mood, makes you better as a musician. You absorb musical ideas, ways of playing, stules, etc, increasing your repertoire of musical resources, that you might employ when actively performing.
Listening to music is such a great investment of time. Minimal effort, great results. Nothing can beat it.
If I were you, with such a rich personality, I would aim at being genuine, a more and more genuine expression of what I am. Instead of the elusive goal of being "happy".
Be genuine, be yourself, express who you really are. Including the sadness.
Strengthening your distinct personality will help you to meet like-minded people who value you for what you are.
As a way to cope with loneliness, beyond real life, participating actively in all the areas that 7 Cups has to offer (group-support chats, this Forum, 1-to-1 chats with Listeners... There even a forum about Music here: https://www.7cups.com/home/hobbyzone/ (look for "Music" in the menu to the right)
I wish you that you feel better once the Holidays have passed, and that you continue to develop and flourish in the many aspects of your rich personality.
All the best!
Marcelo.
@HealingTalk
Thank you for this wonderful reply, it almost brought a tear to my eye
I play the saxophone but I also write poetry and sing a little because I have nobody to perform my material for me
Yes what is genuine and what not is a big topic for me in this last year
I read all the posts and your replies and I am very surprised by how much good talk you can generate from the little information you get I appreciate everything you contributed in this thread
@Seacu
Thank you so much!
You know what? I studied the tenor saxophone, as an amateur. Also sang in choirs for many years (Bach mostly). And recently took classes in Jazz singing (speech-level singing), mostly standards.
And spent thousands of hours listening to this kind of music.
So, we have much in common...
I deem authenticity as way more important than "happiness" as a life goal.
Keep in touch!
See you soon!
Marcelo.
I’m feeling pretty sad tbh… December was okay. I survived my exams and felt good about how the semester went overall, but chronic depression is a constant downer. I’ve spent most of my break hiding in my room. I don’t have any goals for 2023 and slept through the countdown. I really couldn’t care less about January.
@CherryBlossoms246
Hello Cherry Blossoms!
Thank you for coming here to this check-in!
I am glad that you had such a good semester, exams went well, and December was good overall
And that you felt good about all those.
Those are great achievements in themselves, even more for someone with chronic depression.
The change of year is just the Earth crossing an arbitrary point on its annual orbit around the Sun. Nothing special about it.
January is just another month. The coldest in the northern hemisphere, maybe, so nice to stay indoors if you live there.
How you feel is what's important. I am very sorry that you feel so sad. Depression is merciless in making good people feel sad for no reason.
The last semester you demonstrated that, despite all, you can be active, successful, and even enjoy your achievements. It's ok to hide in your room for some weeks, particularly after such great effort.
I wish you that you begin feeling better during this month.
Thank you again for coming here to share your feelings, thoughts, and life experiences.
Please, keep coming!
Marcelo.
@HealingTalk
- How has December been for you? It has been difficult for me. Holidays and cold, dark months already tend to have low mood. What were your feelings during December, particularly the last two weeks? Trying to focus on the basics, which I can sort of do. However, dealing with people I get overwhelmed and feel out of place. Never have a sense of belonging or safety.
- How is January starting? What are you feeling right now? January feels like I am under a heavy weight. I feel quite hopeless.
- How do you imagine this month will be for you? I am trying to imagine how to get through the next day. A month like any other? Can I take a crazy leap and make a major change? Or with some distinctive characteristics and emotions? The emotions are consuming me. I am sad.
@JLarissaNowhere256
Hello, Larissa!
Thank you for coming to this check-in.
Greatly appreciated.
I understand that the cold and the darkness influence so much your mood. There are people very sensitive to this, and others less. Most of us get in a better mood on sunny, warm days. Weather affects me very much too.
Consciously focusing on the basics seems a wise strategy to me, when you are confronted with such high demand for social activity, that you can't deal with all at once. We have the right to set our boundaries to limit what is overwhelming to us, and might even be harmful. It's a challenge during the Holidays, with so much social pressure (even on the media, and the culture in general) to socialize a lot.
The ability to set boundaries that fit our needs is a foundation for getting stronger,.
It might eventually help you to get out of your "confort zone", because you know you can take refuge within your boundaries at any moment.
It is also a sign of strength, being able to keep your ground against social pressures and currents.
I am sorry that you feel so sad. Depression is such a burden, always pushing us down. Like a thousand tons backpack we carry at all times.
Hope might backfire sometimes. Particularly if you had expectations in the past that were not fulfilled.
Better to focus on the next step, of doing incremental improvements with the tools you know, and learn new ones to cope and get better.
Doing now things that are good to you, without expecting a great result in the future.
Does it make sense?
I wish you all the best!
Please keep coming!
Marcelo.
I don't remember December.
I've been depressed all January and nothing is getting better.
This month will be more of the same, I guess. I wish I had an easier way out, but at the same time I want to live. I want Life, but just not this one.
@friendlyBalsam3503
Hi Balsam!
Welcome to 7 Cups and to this Community!
Thank you for joining us at this check-in.
You are right to feel that way.
I think that you express how many of us feel.
And this time of the year seems to underscore the sadness.
I hope things get better, little by little.
Please keep coming!
Marcelo.
