How to act in various areas on 7Cups
There are a variety of ways for members/guests and listeners to interact on 7 cups of tea. The original and most common way is the 1-on-1 chat. In this setting, the role of a listener vs the role of a member/guest is very clear and there are certain guidelines to be upheld. I have summarized them below.
A Listeners Role in a 1-on-1 chat is:
♦To Listen
♦To remain non-judgemental
♦To remain professional
♦To be empathetic
♦To make the member/guest feel important and heard
♦To help the member/guest feel validated
A Member/guests Role in a 1-on-1 chat is:
♦To seek support
♦To get something(s) off their chest
♦To share their story
♦To learn from the chat
What this means is that while a Listener is an empathetic person who will truly listen to what the member/guest is saying, they are limited in that they cannot share their own trials and tribulations as a means of getting support themselves. Can they share their stories if they feel thats what the member/guest needs to hear? Yes, but they cannot share their problems solely to receive the help and attention that they themselves are supposed to be giving.
Another way is in group support, a newer component of 7 cups of tea but the premise is about the same. The role of a listener, moderator, and member/guest are a little less clear but there are still certain guidelines to be upheld. I have summarized them as before.
A Listeners Role in a group support chat is:
♦Be welcoming to those who enter the room
♦Be supportive of those who are sharing their story
♦Be non-judgemental
♦Be professional
♦Gently remind others of the chatroom rules if necessary
♦Keep the room in a relatively positive environment - that is, keep things respectful, help everyone feel involved, etc
♦Help others feel validated
A Moderators Role in a group support chat is:
♦Be welcoming to those who enter the room
♦Be supportive of those who are sharing their story
♦Be non-judgemental
♦Be professional
♦Enforce the chatroom rules if necessary (Still Gently)
♦Keep the room in a relatively positive environment - that is, keep things respectful, help everyone feel involved, etc
♦Help others feel validated
A Member/guests Role in a group support chat is:
♦Seek support
♦Lend support to other member/guests in the room
♦Respect others
♦Follow the chatroom rules
As you can see, a moderator and a listener have the same role. They are there to support, not to seek support. Again, while the moderator and the listener are there to be a supportive person who truly listens to the members/guests, they cannot seek support in a group chat setting.
Most people are aware of how to act in these two settings; however, there is a third way for listeners and members to interact where the guidelines and roles are even less certain: the forums. As before, I will summarize below.
A Listeners Role in the Public Forum:
♦Support members
♦Be empathetic
♦Remain professional
♦Help members feel validated
♦Answer questions
A Members Role in the Public Forum:
♦Seek Support
♦Ask Questions
♦Support other members
♦Share their story, thoughts, or feelings
♦Be respectful toward others
In short, while in the forums the same roles still apply as everywhere else on the site. If you, as a listener, need support or start sharing your story for the sole purpose of getting attention and support, please please log onto your member account. A note to members, while your role is a lot less strict, please note that in the forums and in group support you need to be respectful to your peers just as the listeners do. We are here to help lift each other up ♥
I was going to create a forum post on this previously however some on-site things put me off doing it.
I'd like to elaborate on being professional as a listener in the forums if I may.
As a listener in a 1-on-1 chat, your role is to the support the member through whatever is on their mind in the chat. It is not an expectation that the member will provide support to the listener.
The same rules apply in the forums. To be professional as a listener in the forums, do not create forum posts or forum threads where you are seeking support under your listener account. Use your experiences as a means of connection or relating to a story by all means however if you need support as a listener and wish to seek this via the forums, please connect as a member and post from there. Thanks.
Does this mean my post is @Roadie approved?
My version would have been too verbose. Yours is better :)
@Roadie
That's the little rule I follow.
Member account = support for me
Listener account = support for others.
@MythologicalMayhem
That's a simple Guideline, and a Good one. I agree 👍
@Roadie
Thatnks for the help!
I am curious what do you mean when you say that listeners have certain roles in the forum part of the app... I believe I am just me here as I am still learning a lot about the community and how everything works around here. Not having many informations, still being new, I see myself as having no role while posting in the forum ... more like a learner and regular member who is sharing their experience.
I do see my role as a listener when answering in the Q & A sections though...
So I'm a bit confused about this listener vs member role while in the forums...
Hi @cristiana33! This kind of question is exactly why I made this post. While in the forums on your listener account, you still need to act as a listener. This means remaining professional and supporting others. I am glad that you are learning about the community :)
However, if you start sharing your experience to receive support rather than to give support, you need to log onto a member account. I hope this clears up your question and if it does not, please pm me :)
Yeah i do understand the difference or at least I think so. What about receiving support to grow as a listener? That is allowed from your listener account I believe?
Putting this here and not in a PM, as I am thinking maybe others would like the answer as well... :)
@cristiana33 @MonBon
In terms of seeking support, I see the forums kind of like I see using peer support. If you're using the forums (or peer support) to discuss an issue directly related to the site or your role as a listener, so long as it remains polite/respectful/professional, this can be done from your listener account. However, if it is a personal issue that is interfering with being a listener or a personal issue in general, it is best discussed as a member/guest.
Basically, is it more personal issue or more site-related...personal issue = member/guest account....site related = listener account. Also, seeking support as a listener should be done on the listener threads not the member/guest threads I believe.
Does this help at all.....or just make things more confusing? lol
Thank you so much for this! It has been very helpful. :)
Does it means I can't have idle-talk ?
I'm not entirely sure I understand your question, if you mean can you chat with others in the forums casually, as long as you are respectful and the conversation is in the appropriate forum category (i.e. you shouldn't talk about how school/work is going in a thread about beloved pets), speaking casually with other members is fine.
If this doesn't answer your question you're free to pm me and we can discuss this in greater detail :)
Every day, on group chats, forums or in 1-on-1,
I chat about pets, potatoes and weather,
without "seek support", "share my story, thoughts or feelings", "ask questions", "support to other members" or "learn from the chat".
Does it means I fail in my role here as a member?
I definitely wouldn't phrase it as "failing" as a member.
7 cups is a support site, so if you aren't giving or receiving support, then you definitely are not using the site to its full potential.
However, as long you are respectful to other members, guests, and listeners, and follow the community guidelines, you are free to continue as you have been. Socialization is an important part of life, and if you can get it here, I'm glad ^^
Very helpful!! I feel like this is really great, helpful information!
Thanks for posting this <3
@MonBon Thank you soo much for this! It means a lot to our community and it helps us stay on track. This makes 7Cups a better place where there is a certain process to dictate who seeks support and who wishes to provide it and how. Thank you for being the person that you are.
@MonBon
This was really helpful and I'm glad I came across it. I'm much more comfortable with it now. Thanks a lot!
nice post
