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Bpd outbursts

peachcup1 September 14th, 2021

I recent found out I have BPD(am 23) and I know the obvious reasons why. But I now have a boyfriend and two children. I always work on gentle parenting and trying to work on our relationships but I feel like no matter what I’m failing and I have outbursts. I don’t know what to do and all these calming methods I’ve tried just haven’t worked for me so far when I’m in a trigger. Any advice for triggers and how to deal? :(



5
ROBBER September 14th, 2021

My advice would be to distance yourself from the situation if possible and count the corners of the room you're in. Every ninety degree angle on every surface and nook and just count them until you forget why you had an outburst in the first place

sereneButton43 September 16th, 2021

@peachcup1 It's good to know that you're trying to work on various things and actively looking for ways to get better, both for yourself and the people around you. Outbursts are quite difficult to deal with. It helps to learn more about what you're experiencing and make a plan for dealing with issues. Know that you're not alone in this.

You can try working on DBT skills as well. Do reach out to a professional if you feel the need to, they can guide this process as it's understandably ambiguous and difficult to grasp exactly what would work for you.

You could also have a look at this, it was shared somewhere in the forums before and I think it's a good article.

Have a great day! 😊

marijuanasoup September 16th, 2021

Don’t be afraid to leave the situation. Go for a drive, take a walk, call an old friend. Do something that is good for you that will allow you to feel accomplished, that way you can re enter the environment with the best head space possible!

brownpaperplanes October 4th, 2021

My anger usually either comes from lots of little things that built up while I wasn't looking, or toxic stuff on repeat in my head that day/week/month/year.


It helps me to have tiny talk sessions every day, or every other day, to be aware of and keep track of those little things. Sometimes they only seem like little things until I start talking about them. Like how dropping a yogurt on the floor (small thing) made feel like an absolute failure (big thing). You need a good talk buddy here, someone who will really listen and give constructive feedback.


As for the toxic internal monolog, I have no idea. Sometimes distraction works, but not always. It has to be a very effective distraction. I can have a single memory play over and over, for example, then I need someone to start a conversation about something interesting with me. It can't be a mindless task, because that won't distract you - it has to actively take up all of your focus.


Sometimes I have an almost manic general irritability, I think that's hormonal not psychological, maybe I haven't been eating right or exercising or dealing with my stress - so I feel pent up. I find sport or loud singing or screaming or high intensity dancing helps for that.

vlostatseav October 4th, 2021

Get a book, write down how you feel when your stable , set small boundaries, refer to yourself in times of trouble..

Examples

I love my kids , they come first.

I love my boyfriend, I can trust him..