Feel Free To Rant Here! (Safe Space)

@optimisticMagic0014

Thank you so much I can finally use a thread now so thank you for that I will use this thread from time to time.

A letter to myself, my life, my voices, my broken family.

Dear someone in this group of people,

Why are you being so hard on this physical body? I question why you are being so cruel to this person who never got to choose their destiny. I question why you are being so cruel to this person who never got to identify themselves. Who is this person in which their mind and body split so long ago? Why are you always so cruel to this hard working body? This female body, does it really belong to me? But who am I when all you taught me was to hide behind a mask? Taught to obey obey obey all your words. This body which struggled to connect to a consciousness. I ask you again, why are you being so hard on this poor functioning body? There is only so much that "She" Can take.

Cont.

Love yourself a physical impulse strings of bodily functions in a biological ticking time bomb. Triggered all these impulses working in a string. A location in which I no longer see clearly. Everything blends together. Who am I? Who am I really? Am i the name you claim to be? Am I that other name? Am I my organs? What am I?

Welcome everyone psychosis awareness is important feel free to encourage yourself to chime in

To all those of you struggling.

you're a real person and psychosis mixes up many things in your lives. You are not crazy, you are not ill, you are healing from a severe shock to your system. You are here with us, you are conscious and battling so much right now. Keep trying even though it feels tough i know your words are a bit mixed up or maybe you really dont know how to explain what you really feel or maybe your nightmares are projecting or protecting you right now. but you are a valid person who deserves to be here and speak your mind no matter how messy and I will do my best to listen and understand your words to the best of my ability alothugh I am faulthy myself.

@ShadowTag

Thats very beautifully said.

Our listeners on this website do the best they can to be patient and kind to the members that are in need of help. Our mentors do an excellent job as well. Mental illness is a serious problem and we are happy to have individuals who can use this platform as a way to find friends, feel better, and over all have a different outcome or perspective. With that said, there are trolls on this website that will create a multitude of usernames and continuously try to antagonize the listeners available and responding. There is a difference between having a Narcisistic disorder versus being a deliberate narcisist . I understand with mental illness in general people can be emotional and impulsive, this isnt the case that i'm describing. The trolls are usually aware of their doing especially when they will even try to trigger the listener. I feel as though management needs to step in and take care of these matters to locate them. I've already encountered an individual that seems to be so delusional he believes he is not deliberately malicious and trying to play evil mind games thus making it difficult for him to be given the right help. There needs to be matters that occur where professionals like therapists can step in and have them sent to the hospital because i believe some people are on here to disturb the mentally ill people even further. I'm pretty sure i've spoken to some psychopaths already and i feel they need to be blocked from gaining access to these websites.

hey, a few days before, I kept experiencing some crazy things, i was scared of myself and the things I could imagine. Then I researched my symptoms and arrived at a conclusion that I might have bipolar disorder. This is only a self diagnosis but I feel so confused and scared right now. If I share this with anybody I feel like they would never believe me, but I came out of my comfort zone and talked about this to my only two friends. Their reactions were weird, one of them said they think they might have it too and made me feel invalid, the other person didn't say much. So I made a mistake, I shouldn't have opened up but I won't again. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here, but I know all of us are confused and scared, I know there's some warmth in being miserable together! So Thank you!

@somesoft

Hey! I personally think that opening up and trying to be vulnerable towards other people to get some support is always a good thing.

It means you wanna make improvement and you wanna become a better person yourself. I don't know:)... When you look at it like that maybe you might be able to change your perspective about you opening up towards your friends a bit.

I also think that it's good to be aware bipolar disorder is just a social construct, it described a subset of symptoms. But it dóés not look at the cause (which I think is often emotional trauma). Society says also says and has made up the stpry that is chronic. But there are stories out there from people on the internet that say they have actually recovered from this disorder! (And have not taken any medication for it for years).

Everything good and well. It might still be very helpfull to talk with a professional about this. Do you think you will have the availability of one?

If you wanna share any further thoughts with me about it feel free to contact me on my listener account @pieceofthenuniverse

With love and the best,

Sara

Thank you for what you wrote🙏

@brightsugar1923

Glad it was appreciated

I am toughlion I am going through paranoia on day to day basis I am diagnosed with Depression but I think it is Schizophrenia prodrome I hope I find some place here

@toughLion8324

I hope you will feel like the help you get is the right help for you one day. And they are actually diagnosing you or helping you with the symptoms you are dealing with...

It's very difficult to be misunderstand... Unfortunately very commong in psychiatry. They/we just do not know everything about it... If it's possible maybe it's a good idea to ask for a second opinion from your psychiatrist.

How are you doing tough lion? It is so scary / that’s for sure / thinking of you and sending you a hug! 🙏

It's impossible to fight back against her without sounded unstable, myself. She used her supervisory status to spread lies about how i am harsh with my words and need to remember how hurtful my words are. Excuse me? She herself broke that wall 5 years ago and felt free to verbally abuse me until a few months ago when I had enough and pushed back. Now I'm the bad guy. She needs to look in the mirror and check herself. She needs to remember that when you point fingers, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you. She's no innocent. But because she's a supervisor, she gets believed over me.

And that is why I told her supervisor I will not work with her ever again. So at least her supervisor knows that this woman is full of it.

Before I start let me make one thing clear, I'm not in any way trying to invalidate anyone here or make anyone feel bad or like this isn't a safe place. The only and ONLY thing I'm doing here is ranting and please, for god's sake, this is not about you So Ik I rant too much It sometimes feels like ranting is the only thing I do I...I rant all the time. It's like nothing even happened but there I will be, ranting. I have the best friends in the world but they are happy. IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM THAT THEY ARE HAPPY but when I see them, existing beyond the sphere of ranting, I realise that I can't live like that Ranting is...its in my blood I can't stop Do I want to stop? Ok no wait I do I want to know why I rant so much and how I process my emotions in a different way

i hate it, i hate being the way i am, every day i wake up im reminded of how disgusting i am. i try to find little things to avoid thinking about myself and avoid looking at myself in the mirror but its pointless. i wish i was invisible so that i wouldnt have to see myself, but even just existing if i were invisible would be too much because it feels unfair that someone as disgusting and deplorable as me has a right to be alive. i try to get out of it but all i can think is "you did this to yourself" "you dont deserve to even feel better". i cant handle it all. but i have to, its my punishment for everything and i have to take it like a champ to maybe one day be forgiven of my mistakes. every day its hard to concentrate. every day i dread going to sleep because it takes hours and all i can focus on are the conversations in my head. every second im alone there is always something watching. whether its an evil spirit cursing me or a ghost. theyre all frowing on me. or they get joy out of making me suffer. and i cant even be mad because deep down i know i deserve it all and worse. but im scared that it may actually get worse. what would i do then? i can barely take it now? i wonder if people would look at my suffering and think that i have no right to complain even if i had it worse. they wouldnt be wrong in the slightest. even the person in the mirror, when i look them in the eyes all i can see is disgust and hatred. the thought of myself makes me want to throw up and pull my hair out. the worst thing is not knowing if one day ill lose control again. if ill become emotionless. if ill become selfish. impulsive. im so terrified ill wake up a comeplete different person. theres so many people talking in my head, what if they wait till im most vulnerable and take over? what if they make everything horrible for me and cause me to lose everything i care about and let me back in when ive lost everything? what do i do then? can i even beg people to come back? do they even deserve to be around something like that? im so scared i just want it all to stop but im so scared that when its gone im not even going to know what to do with myself.

@Willywonkafan

Hey. It sounds you are dealing with actually a lot. You don't have to do this all by yourself alone! Maybe it's possible to contact a therapist about all of this?

I do not know if you are only experiencing things that could be classified as spiritual or if there are actually also things that are occuring to you that might be labelled psychotic. Maybe it's possible to discuss this with a professional also. Medication could sometimes help greatly with it!

I have sometimes thought also that demons were inside of me or talking to me. What I have learned is that I should not be afraid of those thoughts. I think that I'm personally not even sure that those are demons. Maybe those are just energies that I have not yet reconciled in myself and because of my christian upbringing I'm actually symbolising them as demons. I also find it helpfull to think about the fact that for me Jesus has won and therefore I should not be afraid of lower beings in the spirit world.

I don't know if that's helpfull in any kind of way!

How are you feeling now? I am thinking about you! So brave what you shared - please update us.🙏

I fully relate with these, after those evil spirits have made me do things i can't even remember, I just feel like running away to a place where no one knows me and start all over again because even if you explain to the very person's you have hurt with words and action they seem not to understand what made you do what you did but funny enough even I cannot explain why sometimes. It is so frightening, I am always scared of what I will do next

GUYS PLEASE LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING AROUND 2 YEARS WITH SHIZOPHRENIA AND ANOREXIA i swear to god if you're skinny and shizophrenic ALL you gotta do Right now EAT MOREEEEEEEE when i ate more i have immediately felt much better and my brain got all the nutrients and calories it needed to get repaired i am still underweight tho but im doing my best to get to the normal BMI and pls pls just don't think a lot of what ur eating just eat it . Thank you

Im tired of talking lies the aloneness when your created different and you or loved are the only ones like it it hurts terribly nobody cares nobody understands you feel depressed ashamed sad withdrawn you feel like nothing but a mistake ive never bern accepted ive always been put down or talked about i feel weird even admitting to it i hear talking voices constantly im not close to anyone but my kids yet i feel like the whole world knows all my business i cant explain strange happenings i dont know where to turn i discovered religion i pray everyday i listen to spiritual podcasts i practice and incorporate bible in my life. I just dont get why so many people have no problem with destroying others although im guilty of that too i had demons in me i know for sure i feel cleansed after 7 years but meth really ruined my life now im turned inside out at least emotionally mentally physically ironically not spiritualy anyway just wanted to rant

i haven't been diagnosed or even seen a professional, i just feel like this belongs here. i dont think i'm real and sometimes when i see things in my room they look weird and really clear the way the light hits them, it just looks like a glitch in the video and i'm very aware of the floor when i walk and my height, i don't recognize my hands often like "are these really mine?" and that's the main reasons i dont think i'm real, everything has been scary because this is new and today i heard something that wasn't real for the first time, it was a flute playing the same tune over and over and it got more intense but no one else heard it. i thought i heard things before but they were quiet and unclear, like whistling and dogs barking, and toddler toys that make an ambulance sound, they were all short and not very loud or noticeable so i brushed it off but the flutes concerned me today. also, i don't know if this is relevant but sometimes my limbs are numb and i cant control them which is another reason i know i'm not real.

I feel not realistically sometimes, i know for positive thinking, but its so difficult for me... People in my life not understand me, and they gone... I feel so lonely no matter im alone or with a another

@M4GIC my faincee is starting to get on my nerves really bad today, like im not dealing with enough already. i wish he would go to work or stay outside.