How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack
If a loved one experiences panic attacks, it's important to know how to support them. Panic attacks can be very scary from an outside perspective, but the most important thing that you can do for your loved one is to stay calm. If you start to panic yourself, you'll almost inevitably make their own anxiety worse. Instead follow these steps to help them:
First you'll have to be able to recognize the situation when it occurs. Panic attacks have symptoms that closely resemble those of a heart attack or asthma attack. If this is the first time they've experienced a panic attack, they're at risk for heart or asthma attacks, or they have other detrimental medical conditions, you should seek medical attention. If they frequently experience panic attacks and are not in danger, let them know what's going on and that you're here to help.
Only ask the most important questions, as it can be hard for a person having a panic attack to focus clearly. Don't trivialize their fears or patronize them. The fear during a panic attack is very real regardless of whether there's anything truly threatening in the immediate area. Because of this, statements like "There's nothing to worry about!" and "Just calm down!" are unhelpful and can alienate the person in crisis.
Speak in a calm voice to guide them through their attack. Don't touch them unless they've given you permission, as unexpected or unwelcome touches can make an attack worse. Encourage them to focus on their breathing. It might be hard for them to take deep breaths at first, so try counting breaths. Start with a count of 2 (2 in and 2 out) and increase to 4, and then to 6.
Another breathing technique that helps is breathing out longer than you breathe in. This helps the body to ascertain that there's no danger, and shuts off the adrenaline gland.
Don't put too much pressure on them and don't overwhelm them. But unless they ask you to leave, stay with them. When it comes to surviving panic attacks, there's not a lot to do except wait it out. Panic attacks usually peak at around ten minutes and then fade. Smaller anxiety attacks might last longer, but they're more manageable.
If any other members or listeners have additional tips for helping a loved one having a panic attack, feel free to post here :)
These are some excellent sugestions! It hit all of the best ways to help someone who is having a panic attack. I've had both panic and anxiety attacks before, and most of the people I told would often tell me "It's going to be okay. Just breathe" or to "calm down." It's especially unhelpful if an individual knows s/he on the verge of one, but went for help to try to control it only to get that kind of response.
Another thing I would add is if the individual is in a public area and having a panic attack, try to get them to a private location (with their permission before you touch or move them). If you can't, then make sure people stand away to give the individual space. Having unwanted attention or a bunch of people freaking out around themcan definitely make the panic attacks worse.
If you know the person often has panic or anxiety attacks, then talking to them about these things and asking questions on what they would like you to do, what is okay, etc. can definitely help you feel more prepared.
Thank you very much for adding this, Kane! :)
my girlfriend and i use something we call the panic square,
essentially it helps you focus on your breathing so you can calm down.
you start tracing a square on your leg, breathe in as you draw a line up. hold the breath as you draw a line to the right. breathe out as you draw a line down, hold the breath as you draw a line to the left. You are making a square. what you want to do is start small, and as you continue, make the lines longer, making the box larger, and as long as you are breathing the way you are supposed to, your breaths with get longer too. It helps you slow down your breathing, and focusing on making a proper square gives you something to think about instead of worrying about your panic attack!
hopefully that helps youas much as it helps us :)
That sounds like something I should try!
that sounds like a great idea!
When I start to feel a bit panicy, me and my boyfriend play a game where we pick a topic (like movies for example) and go through the alphabet, taking it in turns to name a movie beginning with that letter. It's silly, but because Im thinking about my answer, it distracts me before I go into a full blown panic attack, so I can slowly calm down. Since my attacks always happen at night when I'm alone, its great because we can play it via text so he doesn't have to actually be with me to help.
This is really great too! Using distractions to calm down from the anxiety is a great way to keep from having a full-scale panic attack. I might have to use this one as well. :)
i've used this game a few time with a friends to help her to focus on something else :)
@LittleLaura2 How fun! I do a version of this myself. Not movies, as I get tremors so severe I can't type; however, I've found that I can ground myself by counting things around me: bricks/tiles/boards/streetlamps/etc., pencils in a cup/books on a shelf/blind slats in a window/and so on... Anything I can immediately see that has a concrete number, counting it will give me a task, a focus, something to concentrate on for a short while until I'm calm enough to try breathing exercises.
@LittleLaura2
Welcome! Im Lizzy and Im currently a trained listener and intern. I hope you find what you are looking for here in 7 Cups. Please feel free to message me whenever. I will usually reply within the day and if Im online, you should expect a reply straight away! I specialise in anxiety, panic attacks and loneliness mostly but you are always free to message me for other reasons!
http://www.7cups.com/15248074
If I'm having a bad panic attack I'll hypervenelate. If this happens, it helps me to breathe through pursed lips. Often I'll forget about this and hold my breath or stop breathing so others can't see I'm hypervenelating.
Thanks for this post.
My girlfriend struggles with panic attacks too. Sometimes her breaths are very fast, and we try to help guide her with counting and her sitting up straighter (she tends to curl in on herself, making it even harder to breath) and getting her breaths slower. However, other times she begins to stop breathing, and feels like she cant take another breath. When she has this form of panic attack we help remind her to put her hand on her chest or belly and then feel it rise and fall. After all, she is still breathing when that happens and it helps soothe some of the panic because other wise she can additionally panic that she can't breathe any more. It helps prove she is still capable of breathing.
Figuring out how to calm someone down from a panic attack is not the easiest thing to do! It can be really stressful to be around someone who is freaking out if you don't actually understand what's happening to them. They are not in control of their brain, and just letting them know that you're there for them and helping them to relax, letting them know everything is okay (they are not dying!) is all you can do. Sometimes a hug helps, too! : )
Another thing to keep in mind is that for some people at least, after the panic attack itself is over, there's still some residual side effects. I know for me, I tend to go into a mild shut down for a period of time after an attack, for a few minutes or for the rest of the day. For the most part I'm still aware and internally I'm normal, but I have problems interacting with the outside world, especially with words, and if you know you have a friend who has panic attacks you should find out if they have certain after-care they may need. I usually need one to two trusted friends just to be with me while I'm in this shut down, partially because their presence makes me feel safer, partially because I need an advocate while I'm not at full interacting capacity.
Sorry for the rambling but tl;drsometimes care doesn't end with the panic attack, and your loved one may need some after care too.
That's a really wonderful point. Thanks so much for mentioning that, Helix.
You're exactly right. After care can be just as important as the care given during the attack itself. I know for me personally, right after a panic attack I get triggered much more easily. When that happens, sometimes I go right into another attack :/
@HelixFelix I never noticed for a long time even though it seems obvious but it was pointed out to me that I become nearly comatose for generally the rest of the day.
Thank you for sharing this!! Excellent tips! 
Yes, thanks for sharing :D This is awesome!