My name is Sarah-Lyn or Saryn for short. I have been struggling with anxiety for a very long time. Up until recently I was able to just bury it down and power through it. In 2013 I was living with my unemployed partner and his unemployed father. I covered many of the bills on my own, cleaned, made dinner and organized the home. I was also working at a high stress call center at the same time. I would pick up hours as much as I could to cover the bills but we were about 7k behind. I've never really been comfortable on the phone. I wasn't a social kid growing up so I didn't spend much time on it. I was never okay doing the job but I internalized the responsibility of taking care of my partner and his dad. It was a communications company in the US and they get really touchy about their cable and Internet. I was verbally assaulted on the phone. For the first two years I just kept pushing it down. In November 2015 my grandfather passed away. I was never particularly close and we butted heads often but it was my first immediate family loss. It served as a catalyst. I began having panic attacks on the way to work. At first it was just hyperventilating but soon it was severe chest pains, uncontrollable tears, rocking back and forth. Over time they got more severe and lengthy. In August 2016 I blacked out and was taken to the hospital. I was placed on a short term medical leave for one month each month it was extended until December. My benefits had expired and I had to sign up for social assistance to continue my therapy. I have a psychologist but it's expensive to pay for him on social assistance. I see him once a month and it's very helpful albeit difficult. I've had to relive some very traumatic experiences. I joined seven cups to have someone to talk to in between the meetings so I don't have a chance to repress everything again. Um..oh wow didn't mean to write so much but yeah that's me.

~Saryn