Project ReFrame - Let's Change our Thinking Together!
There is a form of therapy called cognitive-behavior therapy or CBT. The basic idea is that how we think impacts how we feel, which then impacts how we behave. How we think – or interpret or frame our experience – influences how we feel. Here is a classic example:
I smile and say hi to my boss, but he doesn
I feel completely broken again today, tightness in chest and emotional all the time. I want to give up. I just want this to go away.
@nobuochick that sounds very familiar to me. especially the broken part. i've often described myself that way. it helps me to re-frame that thought like this:
original thought: "i am broken"
re-framed thought: "i am what i am. there is no 'right' way to be, therefore, there is no way for me to be 'broken.' although this pain feels as though it will not stop, this is emotional thinking. i don't always feel this way, therefore, one day i will not feel this way." and then i add my mantra, "change is the nature of the universe."
hope that helps a little
Im 17 years old , i just finished high school after dropping out in September , i have a lot of anxiety about my future. I have dreams and goals i want to accomplish but the thing is i dont know what to do to get there. Im afraid of failure and rejection and everyday i get lonelier, i dont talk to anybody , i cut all the connections i had. Believing that i want to start something else but due to the circumstances it gets harder everyday. I feel depressed and lonely.
Hey there @melissa2020. If you think about it, finishing high school is a huge thing. Many employers only hire those with at least a high school diploma. And, well, you're 17! You're young! You're at the perfect age to start whatever you want to start. For example, my judo coach is now a black belt and competing in various international and national competitions, and he only started when he was 20+ (He's currently still below 30). If you're looking for extra education to replace experience, there are loads of free internet courses out there including ALISON. What I do is I compile knowledge from various courses and take only the most advanced test I am willing to take so I don't have to waste money. However, ALISON and saylor.org should be good enough for a CV or resume (and they're free!). What you can do to solve your fear of rejection is to research and find out who applies to wherever and if you're above that, then you should be ok! If you get rejected, the worst thing that can happen is you're never going to meet that person again, and you've gotten insight into how to get the next interview down. Depending on your financial support, you can either try volunteering, online jobs or an opening at starbucks. Volunteering will give you experience with easy application, online jobs will give you time to study, and starbucks will give you money and a place to start. Retail jobs will help you get used to people, and then if you're doing fine arts you can start promoting online. Try your best to reestablish your connections, or if not, make new friends! Ask yourself, are you lonely or missing whoever you cut off? The worst that can happen is you don't talk anymore. You can start off with online friends or retail jobs if you find it hard to talk to new people. Or, you can start off with me! Or anyone else here! Good luck, and if you'd like to chat, I think there may be PM? Haha, I don't know!
And oh! By the way, if you're finding it hard to start, go out for a run. Endorphins would help. Or, take it one small step at a time. Break your goals up into smaller things like okay, I want to draw, so I'll start by learning the different colours and lines out there. And then the combinations of colours. Types of brushes, types of material. Style: one drawing each. Oh! I like watercolours! One watercolour painting a time. Two. Ten. Fifty. I'm Picasso! Heheh, again, good luck!
@Lovrotte Hi!, first of all i would like to say thank you so much for replying and taking the time to write that. I really needed to hear that, and it means so much to me what you said. I will see what i can do , im lacking motivation and really needed someone to reach out to me at the bottom of a pit so thank you for that. Its really hard to find a job since im in Argentina and you cant work anywhere but mcdonalds if your not in college or university or have experience. I wanted to volunteer but again there arent much options, I feel the need to get out of this country and go back to Canada where i was born and raised but im here because of my mother, i dont have 6 months to waste until im 18. Im eager to get started doing what i love, but no one can help me out. So in the meantime i exercise try to get in a better shape, i made a list of goals, i even went on alison once but i cant pay for the certificates that they give you when you finish the course. I need at least a salary or an income. Anyways instead of progressing i feel like im going backwards doing nothing with my life with no support (financially or morally) so thanks for opening up new ideas and thoughts!
Just a raw honest opinion... DUMP HIS SORRY BEHIND.
Hi,
So, I was thinking maybe I could get a different perspective on this or maybe just some encouraging words.
See, about two years ago, I used to write really well, act really well and play beautiful music but now.... Now all of that's gone. Everything just seems mediocre at best. Secretly I'm afraid that it just won't ever come back and I won't be able to create like I used to. That was really my only outlet of creativity and now that nothing seems good anymore, I just can't bring myself to try. I don't want to make something I'd be embarrassed to show anyone something that sounds/looks ridiculous.
Is it normal to go into a slump in your late teens? Will I ever get out if this creative rut I seem to have myself in?
Hi @Wavedance
This sounds so familiar to me. I had this a while ago with drawing, and many times with music.
I think the best solution is to never put pressure under youself. Arts in general are supposed to give us joy and relief (because it's always a relief when you can express yourself in some way, right?). So don't be afraid of trying and making mistakes. If you ever create something and doesn't turn out as expect, just try again. It's Ok to make mistakes, that's the only path to do things right.
So when you feel unpleasant with your work just say to yourself: "I tried as hard as I could. That is enough". You might as well look for inspirations in other people's work and study some subjet related to the topic. Remember there is always something to learn, and do your best!
If you get nervous about the future, just keep telling yourself to focus on the present, on your actions, not the result.
And if you get afraid (of showing your work, asking for opinions), say to yourself, "what would I do if I wasn't afraid?". Believe me, it takes time to fully live up to those words. I'm still trying to get there.
Hope you have a great day x
@fearlessJar1329
Thanks so much for your reply! It was very helpful (:
I'm new to 7 Cups but so far I'm liking it. I started late last night and again upon waking up. My listener last night wasn't the best but she kind of helped. Seeing as I'm this new and steadaly advancing I don't think I'm learning as much. I'm using it more as a everyday throughout the day then once a day. Still with that said its kind of keeping me aware of my thoughts, thankful that I have those thoughts, about changing my life. Since last night I've thought about them more then usual and for the first time soon after staying up. I had a fight with my dad and it did get loud but I think he seen reason, he invited me back in and we enjoyed each others company. Thank you guys for allowing me to be part of the community.
Hi @xHAZEDxCHAOSx - welcome to 7cups. Glad you are here. Listeners are trained but some (like me) have good nights when they are on and nights where they are struggling with personal situations. There are thousands of listeners, so feel free to select one from the queue or browse for a listener or leave me a message. http://www.7cups.com/@soulsings
There are also self help guides, forums and chat rooms too.
wonderful
Hi everyone!
I just wanted to say that we all have different stories,different issues and live in different circumstances however, what we all have in common is the need to express ourselves and talk about our stories and 7cups has provided the opportunity for so many to express their views and their problems without being judged.
These stories helped me realise that i am not the only one on this planet who has problems and issues in fact all of us have these and we all chose to deal with these in different ways but, that does not mean that we are all alone.
So i just wanted to remind all of you that you are not alone and we, the 7cups community, are a family that will always be there for you.
Love you all.
