I Have a Question For All The Adults

@QueenRaddy Hi Leah, I appreciate you posting in this community, with some very important questions, thank you! Curiosity is the key to learning, and we all can always learn from each other!

Although I do not have children and am still a young adult, I would like to say that if someone is showing signs of depression, it must be hard for their loved ones to observe the person going through some changes, and yes, we all can be confused on how to really approach such a situation. One big tip is to be honest and to express your concerns. You do not need to do that directly. Something like, "I've noticed that you seem really down lately. Is everything okay?" might be enough. Remember, depressed people are really good at appearing un-depressed just because of the fear of scaring people away. Hopefully, such indirect concerns might help the individual share even if a few of the things they are feeling.

Another important thing is to refrain from advice. Instead, using empathy and active listening skills might help. If someone does not want to directly share or talk about it, perhaps letting them know that you respect that decision alongside telling them there are many other resources and help is available, might be supportive.

Including the 50+ Community Tag-list so that other people can perhaps share their thoughts:

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Your wings already exist, all you need to do is fly!

@QueenRaddy thanks for your heartfelt post. You bring up a serious issue.

Teens can be reluctant to discuss their situation with parents. As a parent rather than ask them how they are feeling I might take an appropriate time to tell them about some of the challenges I faced in my life. If they will talk about that it could be an opening.

I would also suggest 7cups as a place they might like to visit.

@QueenRaddy

Here is an article from psychcentral: https://psychcentral.com/lib/depression-in-teens-and-children/

If it doesn't address your questions directly its probablyu a good place to start.

My parents were always tough love, so there were no discussions about feelings to be had. For me it was far easier to go to a fave teacher or guidance counselor. I guess my point is that sometimes if the parent-child relationship doesnt work from the start, its better to seek help from another trusted individual.

Hug them all and just let them know that no matter what I love them and above all things I will help them and hear them out in any way I humanly can.

Drop subtle hints that if they need a nonjudgmental shoulder to cry on I'm here.

Let them know that if they can't speak to me about it write it to me text it to me.

My eldest, J was going through this. I knew on instinct something was wrong. So I hinted and hugged him until finally I calmly straight up asked him what was wrong and before he could answer I did tell him that just bc I was his mother didn't mean I was not human and incapable of hearing his side w/o judgments or becoming irate. He then let me know what his dad had confided in me that he wouldn't graduate. I sat there calmly and listened, and when he was done all he asked me was if I was mad? Or disappointed in him. To which I said no to either. All I said that no matter what I still loved him, would always be proud of him and no matter what the subject was about he could always come and talk to me w/o fear of judgements or getting in trouble. I promised to always hear him out and have a discussion of what ever needed to be discussed. We have bonded INCREDIBLY.

But this is what I'd do and I've done.

Seeing a family member going through depression is scary indeed. More so if you are the parent and the family member is your child. A parent's first instinct is to protect but how do you protect your child from something he or she feels from within. Parents are bound to feel helpless and powerless. The only thing possible is to be calm, to be there for your child. Be a safe haven for your child and most importantly , tell your child that there are many options available if your child wants to speak to someone . Give them the info/ pamplets or websites. Allow the child to make choices . Tell him its okay to feel down and not to be afraid and you are always there if she /he wants to share with you.

@PandaPawzInstead of asking what's wrong, ask how can you help them.

Well, if I noticed one of my children having some mental issues. I would sit

them down and tell them that they could talk to me about anything regardless

of what it is. I would also tell them with things that I struggle with and that everyone

at some point in their lives have to struggle with issues and it is nothing to be a shame of

because over 14.5 million people struggles with depression on a everyday basis. There is

not but one way to get better and that is addressing the problem so that the healing can begin.