New here
I am new to this site and recently turned 50. I live in country Australia a few hours from a major city which can be isolating and lonely (but made worse with travel restrictions related to keeping our state covid free). It's Winter here with very cold weather. I have a few health issues essentially depression, anxiety and agrophobia. I struggle to leave my bedroom even though I have a large house. Exercising (going for a walk) and doing things would help me as would someone to chat with or message. I guess I was hoping to find a couple of people to message with, make friends, set goals and hopefully feel more motivated to go out and do more things alone.
@lonelyremoteguy
Hello, I'm familiar with the struggle of self-motivating while alone and with the struggle of leaving my property.
At my worst I could not leave my home. As much as I wanted, or thought I wanted, to go outside and as much I knew that I would benefit from the venture, getting past my front door seemed not possible.
I still spend the majority of my time alone at home but I'm working on self-motivation which presently includes improving my housekeeping skills and self-care.
I think I understand a bit about how difficult it can be to self-motivate in a "vacuum."
I'm also looking for similarly aged people, or, especially people with similar struggles, so that we may encourage each other and share our days -- with their triumphs and trials.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks Parley. Encouraging each other would be great.
@lonelyremoteguy
are you finding the winter especially difficult?
Is communication only through public posts or can you send private messages?
@lonelyremoteguy
Members may only communicate thru forum posts or thru chat rooms or with a Listener in a 1-1.
(I'm a retread under a new nick so I'm familiar with how the site works somewhat).
Thanks Parkey. I guess I was hoping to set more simple goals privately but general posts work too.
@lonelyremoteguy
yes, unfortunately it is what it is as far as communication goes to safeguard a vulnerable population (mental health site).
Simple goals are wonderful. I'm definitely still in the simple stages.
I think it is important as a safe guard. I guess I feel embarassed that some of my goals are very simplistic and what most people do every day as normal tasks.
@lonelyremoteguy
I truly do relate. I am working on what I've named my "baseline three": three goals to start my day. I don't always start with them but they must be completed by day's end.
they are an anchor for me, something to go to if I'm adrift in a sea of "me." (Which is easy to do when you spend your days alone).
in full disclosure I would like to say that I'm a long-time married woman. At this point definitely not much more than a housewife. But.. I'm wanting to improve my efforts in this role as I've spent a lifetime neglecting them.
so, I'm almost pushing fifty and still learning how to live or accomplish in a day what most people accomplish with little thought before or after a day's work.
in short, I get you. It doesn't matter where you (or I) start, it only matters that we do.
hiya lonely.... I always wanted to travel and yes even all the way around the world. I think you guys over there are spectacular. now....what keeps us in ~~ status quo??? we could walk 5000 miles but not get anywhere. talk til w ed are blue.... it's very tiring.
I like in the US and Europe how you only have to travel a short distance to a major city. We have a small population over a large land mass with most people in a dozen or so mega cities. The outback can be beautiful but it can get boring. People overseas like kangaroos but they can be a problem here travelling especially at night. Conversely I was mesmerised by squirrels and other animals overseas which some local people viewed as pests.
@lonelyremoteguy
squirrels are an exotic here as well haha. I also live in Texas but somewhat rurally and in the semi-arid region. Less people here comparatively so. But I do like it here very much. I can see the stars at night, hear the sounds of a few nighttime creatures - mostly insects ha.
Do you have racoons there? When I visited California I liked lying in bed and watching the squirrels in the morning running along the top of the fence. I saw lots of squirrels but missed seeing any racoons. Normally you can see the stars here at night too. It's very quiet here but occasionally you can here a freight train passing through.
@lonelyremoteguy
I've not seen many raccoons. More likely to see a feral pig. Mainly it's a few tarantulas, coyotes and rattlesnakes. We have a few resident tarantulas. I kinda like them as long as they keep to themselves and outside, of course. Don't often see the coyotes but I hear them at night. And snakes, well, most everyone living somewhat outside of town must be mindful to watch their step outside especially this time of year.
We have a "resident toad" - she's my "exotic" ha. It's nice to see her about. Spouse dubbed her "Toadwina" and it's stuck. She's like a lucky charm - spotting her feels like good luck and I miss her if I don't see her for a few days.
I haven't found being here helpful especially getting extreme religious advice, a listener making fun of Australia and being hit on. (Yes I should have read and listened to advice not to give out my phone number but it seemed harmless and supportive at the time and that listener has since been expelled). I hope everyone takes care, stays safe and well and finds what they are looking for here and in life.
@Deletingaccount
Am sorry to see you go. I hope you can find the support you are looking for. I was looking forward to having someone to share daily goals with, but I'll survive : )
I would never dream of giving my contact details to anyone here.. Listeners are just people too, unfortunately. I also learned this and was surprised at my own naivety and dismay over what should have been an obvious fact. I did in time find wonderful listeners and I was very blessed by them.
If you change your mind or come back, please drop a line. If not, best wishes to you!
Also, thank you again for sharing how you were doing ten basic tasks a day and the SMART tool. I found the ten tasks a day encouraging and a way to challenge myself to the same number (or at least begin the dialogue within myself regarding). And the Smart acronym I'm going to tuck away for a time in the future.
I'm sorry you're leaving so soon over a few bad experiences. But I can respect your decision too.