New here
I am new to this site and recently turned 50. I live in country Australia a few hours from a major city which can be isolating and lonely (but made worse with travel restrictions related to keeping our state covid free). It's Winter here with very cold weather. I have a few health issues essentially depression, anxiety and agrophobia. I struggle to leave my bedroom even though I have a large house. Exercising (going for a walk) and doing things would help me as would someone to chat with or message. I guess I was hoping to find a couple of people to message with, make friends, set goals and hopefully feel more motivated to go out and do more things alone.
@lonelyremoteguy
Hello, I'm familiar with the struggle of self-motivating while alone and with the struggle of leaving my property.
At my worst I could not leave my home. As much as I wanted, or thought I wanted, to go outside and as much I knew that I would benefit from the venture, getting past my front door seemed not possible.
I still spend the majority of my time alone at home but I'm working on self-motivation which presently includes improving my housekeeping skills and self-care.
I think I understand a bit about how difficult it can be to self-motivate in a "vacuum."
I'm also looking for similarly aged people, or, especially people with similar struggles, so that we may encourage each other and share our days -- with their triumphs and trials.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks Parley. Encouraging each other would be great.
@lonelyremoteguy
are you finding the winter especially difficult?
Is communication only through public posts or can you send private messages?
@lonelyremoteguy
Members may only communicate thru forum posts or thru chat rooms or with a Listener in a 1-1.
(I'm a retread under a new nick so I'm familiar with how the site works somewhat).
Thanks Parkey. I guess I was hoping to set more simple goals privately but general posts work too.
@lonelyremoteguy
yes, unfortunately it is what it is as far as communication goes to safeguard a vulnerable population (mental health site).
Simple goals are wonderful. I'm definitely still in the simple stages.
I think it is important as a safe guard. I guess I feel embarassed that some of my goals are very simplistic and what most people do every day as normal tasks.
@lonelyremoteguy
I truly do relate. I am working on what I've named my "baseline three": three goals to start my day. I don't always start with them but they must be completed by day's end.
they are an anchor for me, something to go to if I'm adrift in a sea of "me." (Which is easy to do when you spend your days alone).
in full disclosure I would like to say that I'm a long-time married woman. At this point definitely not much more than a housewife. But.. I'm wanting to improve my efforts in this role as I've spent a lifetime neglecting them.
so, I'm almost pushing fifty and still learning how to live or accomplish in a day what most people accomplish with little thought before or after a day's work.
in short, I get you. It doesn't matter where you (or I) start, it only matters that we do.
@lonelyremoteguy
If you'd like to share a goal or work on setting one please let me know. Or if you'd like to commiserate/trouble shoot/talk it out, please don't hesitate.
I posted a thread in the Healthy Living forum and initially thought I might have found a "tasking buddy." But I haven't heard back from them in a while. So I'm still sort of looking for someone to share and support with for whatever goals (in my case things like dishes, laundry etc).
can you leave your room? Or it's just not easy? At any rate, there are definitely goals you can set. Just let me know your thoughts.
A tasking buddy would be good but I'm starting off fairly simply. I tend to spend nearly all my time in my room so I need to go out more. I am responsible for myself but the cold weather (Winter in Australia) and lockdown restrictions (I had two weeks self quarantine after returning from another Australian city where I could not leave my home to go for a walk etc) has not helped. The kitchen is something I'm working on too but I have a dishwasher. I have lots of clothes so can delay laundry for a time. I have prescribed medication that helps me go out but it can make me tired and I generally avoid driving if taking it. What are your goals for tomorrow (it's just after 8am in the morning here)?
hiya lonely.... I always wanted to travel and yes even all the way around the world. I think you guys over there are spectacular. now....what keeps us in ~~ status quo??? we could walk 5000 miles but not get anywhere. talk til w ed are blue.... it's very tiring.
I like in the US and Europe how you only have to travel a short distance to a major city. We have a small population over a large land mass with most people in a dozen or so mega cities. The outback can be beautiful but it can get boring. People overseas like kangaroos but they can be a problem here travelling especially at night. Conversely I was mesmerised by squirrels and other animals overseas which some local people viewed as pests.
@lonelyremoteguy
squirrels are an exotic here as well haha. I also live in Texas but somewhat rurally and in the semi-arid region. Less people here comparatively so. But I do like it here very much. I can see the stars at night, hear the sounds of a few nighttime creatures - mostly insects ha.
Do you have racoons there? When I visited California I liked lying in bed and watching the squirrels in the morning running along the top of the fence. I saw lots of squirrels but missed seeing any racoons. Normally you can see the stars here at night too. It's very quiet here but occasionally you can here a freight train passing through.
@lonelyremoteguy
I've not seen many raccoons. More likely to see a feral pig. Mainly it's a few tarantulas, coyotes and rattlesnakes. We have a few resident tarantulas. I kinda like them as long as they keep to themselves and outside, of course. Don't often see the coyotes but I hear them at night. And snakes, well, most everyone living somewhat outside of town must be mindful to watch their step outside especially this time of year.
We have a "resident toad" - she's my "exotic" ha. It's nice to see her about. Spouse dubbed her "Toadwina" and it's stuck. She's like a lucky charm - spotting her feels like good luck and I miss her if I don't see her for a few days.
I haven't found being here helpful especially getting extreme religious advice, a listener making fun of Australia and being hit on. (Yes I should have read and listened to advice not to give out my phone number but it seemed harmless and supportive at the time and that listener has since been expelled). I hope everyone takes care, stays safe and well and finds what they are looking for here and in life.
@Deletingaccount
Am sorry to see you go. I hope you can find the support you are looking for. I was looking forward to having someone to share daily goals with, but I'll survive : )
I would never dream of giving my contact details to anyone here.. Listeners are just people too, unfortunately. I also learned this and was surprised at my own naivety and dismay over what should have been an obvious fact. I did in time find wonderful listeners and I was very blessed by them.
If you change your mind or come back, please drop a line. If not, best wishes to you!
Also, thank you again for sharing how you were doing ten basic tasks a day and the SMART tool. I found the ten tasks a day encouraging and a way to challenge myself to the same number (or at least begin the dialogue within myself regarding). And the Smart acronym I'm going to tuck away for a time in the future.
I'm sorry you're leaving so soon over a few bad experiences. But I can respect your decision too.
