Hi

@Suzanne33

many of us have been there or visit there often .... (humor)

It is hard on our loved ones to wonder what type issue will we face today........ do you know your triggers or if something recent came up that makes you feel more anxious or upset.

Identifying helps me ..... i have a few items that are under the surface and small items semi unrelated can set me off .........

letting go of the small things is easier said then done sometimes .......... giving yourself a break on feeling bad or complicated is step one..... we do make errors and wish we could have do overs but life only moves forward not backwards ........

so you did not do something this time fretting is like trying to have a re-do .... instead try to see like a sport that even if you make an error ......regroup and start playing the game again ...... seldom does anyone review the mistakes as much as the person....and truth is NO one is keeping score.

Thank you so much! I never even thought to try to identify my triggers! I will do that now. Thanks for the suggestion and the encouragement!

Some of us are more sensitive to that than others. Maybe it's the genes, maybe it's your upbringing, etc. So, it's not your fault. And it's not a weakness to ask for help, including medications. You can't have to take them all the time, only when stressed and overwhelmed. Knowing myself i i have something i can take when overwhelmed makes me calmer and i end up not needing that in the first place.

Then you have the grounding techniques and all kinds of meditations. If you don't know where to start just search YouTube for a start.

You'll get better. We believe in you.

Really hope that you find what you are looking for. There is no magic quick fix. But things can be better

@peacekeeper33

Hi peacekeeper, sometimes life throws those challenges at us and we have to deal the best we can. I also find myself getting easily frustrated and asking myself a lot of unanswerable questions lately (which probably doesn't help me). I also know that being someone who has always been a sensitive person who is now somewhere along the journey to menopause (hormones = wacky!) is definitely not helping.

Have you ever looked up "highly sensitive person"? I found that a couple of years ago and could totally relate. It at least helped me feel like I'm not just an overly sensitive weirdo, but there are really a lot of us out there. And whether or not you find that's something you can relate to, I think toughtiger's idea of examining your triggers could also be helpful, at least to understand yourself a little better, and maybe also help the people you live with understand you better as well.

Good luck!

Thanks for the idea! I will look that up as soon as I exit here. I have always been considered a very sensitive person. . . In fact, my husband used to call me "puddles!". Hopefully I will get some insight from there and be able to correct some things about myself.

I have been writing down triggers whenever they happen, or I think if one. That, too, will help.

I'm away now for a private retreat and will be returning home tomorrow and hope to have some changes in place by then. . . Thanks!

Well, I am home and after only 3 hours, my husband is telling me to go back. . . For longer this time! He is upset (and rightly so) that I jumped back into tasks (we live on a farm, lots to do and I was away and my daughter has been sick in bed for 3 days) instead of talking with him about our issues and what I learned from 4 days away. He says it doesn't matter now, it was a waste.

Help!! I can't believe I messed up so quickly!

@peacekeeper33. I’m not sure that I understand how you “messed up”. But we all mess up at times.

Thanks for the question. . . Sometimes i don't even know! This time, it was because I went right to task and didn't take time to sit with him and discuss us. My bad.

@peacekeeper33

Your husband sounds like a bully. You don't need to accept his view on things. But it sounds like you have an uphill battle to find and believe in yourself.

@peacekeeper33 I'm really glad that you reached out here. That is the first step towards getting help! Also remember that you can also reach out to a Listener any time and chat to them on a 1-1 basis!

I hope you have a good day

@peacekeeper33

I’m very sorry to hear about your struggles and it was very brave of you to post on here. I just want you to know you can reach out to me anytime to chat if you’re feeling down, overwhelmed, unable to cope in anyway. I know the feeling and empathize with you. I would be glad to listen.

Best Wishes,

❤️Rose

@peacekeeper33

I'm a very sensitive person, too. Throughout my childhood, this was a problem for my mother. Therefore, so was I. Along with holding onto hurt feelings that never were validated, I never was taught/learned how to regulate emotions, cope with problems or accept loss. Next, I struggled in marriage with my emotionally absent husband who initially tried to support me but lacking capability to do so gave up on me after 32 years. At empty nest, he also moved out. Not only my husband, but also my two adult children no longer want to include me in their lives due to my emotional issues. I feel abandoned, and you guessed, I cannot accept my family never will be together again. A broken family is the worst a mom can go through. I am struggling with consequences for failing to get the help I needed before too much family relationship damage occurred. Seek professional help, and keep seeking, regardless how many attempts to get results if help doesn't seem to make a difference until you get the help you need. Your issues only will get worse and will affect all your adult relationships. Your family, and others, will grow weary of your sensitivity and emotions. Please excuse if my post is inappropriate as this post is my first.

Hi, your post is definitely not inappropriate, at least to me!! I see myself in your shoes, for sure! I am in therapy now and will, God willing, get the help I need before it is too late. . . Things are kind of ok at the moment, but mostly because we are crazy busy with "tasks" and don't have time to attend to our relationship issues as a couple and as a family. I am using this time to readjust my thinking and my behavior so when we do get back to it, I will be in a better position to cope. Prayers to you. . . I hope you find peace. . . Thank you so much for sharing.