So tired of dealing with heartless people, even in my own home!
Today I got really frustrated. On top of dealing with this lifeless and loveless marriage, I also have to deal with my dysfunctional parents. Dad was having heart issues today when he got up from bed and he did call me and briefly told me about it. My mother decides she wants to turn her phone off for the day and make it hard to call and get updates on his issue. My baby sister got involved and drove them to the hospital (I live too far away). I've been able to get updates from her, but why the heck does my parents turn off their phones so that me, their first born, can call and find out if he's okay or dying? My gosh, what kind of parents do that?
You know, it's enough to deal with my own wife and her passive aggressive introverted behavior, and the way she doesn't communicate with me about things, but I also have to deal with my dysfunctional parents and the careless way they handle things. What is wrong with people anymore that don't seem to want to have a healthy relationship with their own flesh and blood? What is this world coming too?
Maybe I should just say, "heck with everyone" and just worry about myself and leave everyone alone and just stay away from them. I try to be a kind and affectionate person towards others, but it seldom gets reciprocated back to me. Can I trade a few selected relatives (especially the above mentioned) for ones that generally care about me? You know, sometimes I just want to run away with someone who is a loving person and generally cares about me and others. Are there people out there with real compassion towards others? Anyone? *sigh*i feel your pain. I am and have always been a good human. I was born into trauma, and up until last year, I hated being brought into this world. I am about to turn 47, and going thru my 2nd divorce. Thank god, I never had children. I was smart enough to know better on one thing in my life. I am also the first born of four. I endured the most dysfunctional family dynamics. I was groomed into believing I was capable of being the mother to my younger siblings at age 12. My life and development stopped, and my life has suffered immensely. My mother has dumped every family problem onto me, by venting and complaining and worrying. For the last 3 years I let her live with my husband and I. It was a nightmare. When I asked her to start looking for a different place to live, she told me to *** off and I haven’t heard or seen her since. That was in last fall. She has never respected my home, my rules, nothing. I made the difficult decision to remove toxic people, regardless of who they are, from my life. I have never been punished so bad for it. I am finally feeling better, I am coming back to life. The last 12 years with my husband, only 6 married have left me dead inside. I am alone, and starting over with nothing. I have never felt so good about it. Take care of YOU. Nobody else sure in the *** will. I have no family left, I am moving somewhere far enough away to feel safe. Far enough where I won’t be known and I can find my people and make my own family.
i am sick of being the caretaker for disrespecting, ungrateful family. I hope you find your happiness. YOU DESERVE IT, and so do I.
@persistentWater9467
Boy do I kind of envy you. I sometimes fantasize doing that... relocating myself and start a new life. Considering what you've been through it will probably be the best decision you ever made in your life. I hope everything goes well for you and that the rest of your life will be on a more positive trend. Just seek out good people because they're out there they're just kind of hard to find. I hope the best for you! 😊
Thanks for responding, You have no idea how much it means to me. I have nobody to confide in at this time. The few people I want to keep in touch with, I feel like they are sick of dealing with me. I am done being silent. I am at the age where I finally don’t care what people think of me. I have always been a speaker of truth, I have learned the hard way on that as well. I want TRUTH, good or bad. I would rather someone tell me where I need to improve, rather than look me in the eyes and lie. Truth hurts sometimes, but it is a necessary evil to improve yourself. People that get offended by truth, will no longer be a part of my life. I have had so many good friends, and coworkers burn me. Nobody is worth that much trouble, EXCEPT ME. This world is falling apart, good people are killing one another, why? Because they want to be heard, somebody to just sit down and LISTEN. People don’t know how to do that anymore, I have been pleading with my family for that. A listening ear, no solutions, no problem solving, just a human that can have compassion and understanding for another fellow human. At this point, if I want advice, I WILL PAY FOR IT. I am sick and tired of peoples unsolicited advice. That is all I have been given, people who say they care, with their own personal motive and agenda that benefits them. I am done with it. I am going to blaze my own trail, I have always thought I needed a man in my life. That is a dam lie, I am doing it alone to prove to myself that I can do it. Here is to 2023, it’s my year!! 2023 FREE TO BE ME!!! Back to finding and loving myself.
@persistentWater9467
If you don't mind me saying, it seems we have a lot in common when it comes to all this.
I've become a bit of an introvert anymore. I just can't seem to find anyone that really cares enough to be a friend and listen to me. I'm tired of these "fly by conversations" where no one has any time for you. And you're right, no one knows how to just take time to listen. So I just don't bother anymore. And as I stated in this thread, even my own family isn't interested in me. And sadly, my own wife doesn't really take an interest in me and what I do. How sad.
I remember a saying someone told me once.... "People aren't against you, they are just for themselves." How true that is in today's world. Covid made it worse. People don't care like they used to.
But understand, there are a lot of good men out there. I hate to pat myself on the back, but I try to be a good person to everyone. But it seldom gets reciprocated back to me.
I encourage you to take care of yourself. Enjoy your new life adventure and make the best of it! 😊 I still envy you! LOL!
You know what the sad thing is, I am afraid to pat myself on the back. For fear of being kicked back down to the ground. 2022 has been ***, and I made it through, with no help from family. I’m so close to freedom. I work in healthcare and I chose to work thru COVID, because I love my profession. I scrubbed all the COVID positive surgeries, and witnessed alot of death and last ditch efforts to save patients lives. It was traumatic to say the least, I have no regrets and I would do it all over again. Working in the operating room is my passion and I am starting all over after 17 years in one hospital. I am so excited and can’t wait to get back into it. I walked from my job from burnout, and my failing marriage, and family dysfunction. I haven’t worked since 9-27-22 and it feels like forever. I have been surviving on my 401k and running out fast, from paying off so much of my husband’s irresponsibile, and selfish debt. Still I have no anger or resentment, it surfaces at times, but I don’t want to hate. It will only destroy me in the end. I lost my best friend, my in-laws and my family. I still care, but at this time, I just have to vanish for a while, and heal my wounds. Is that selfish of me?
