So tired of dealing with heartless people, even in my own home!
Today I got really frustrated. On top of dealing with this lifeless and loveless marriage, I also have to deal with my dysfunctional parents. Dad was having heart issues today when he got up from bed and he did call me and briefly told me about it. My mother decides she wants to turn her phone off for the day and make it hard to call and get updates on his issue. My baby sister got involved and drove them to the hospital (I live too far away). I've been able to get updates from her, but why the heck does my parents turn off their phones so that me, their first born, can call and find out if he's okay or dying? My gosh, what kind of parents do that?
You know, it's enough to deal with my own wife and her passive aggressive introverted behavior, and the way she doesn't communicate with me about things, but I also have to deal with my dysfunctional parents and the careless way they handle things. What is wrong with people anymore that don't seem to want to have a healthy relationship with their own flesh and blood? What is this world coming too?
Maybe I should just say, "heck with everyone" and just worry about myself and leave everyone alone and just stay away from them. I try to be a kind and affectionate person towards others, but it seldom gets reciprocated back to me. Can I trade a few selected relatives (especially the above mentioned) for ones that generally care about me? You know, sometimes I just want to run away with someone who is a loving person and generally cares about me and others. Are there people out there with real compassion towards others? Anyone? *sigh*@Spearman60
I hear you and understand ...... It is not OK when you have someone ill especially older to turn off your phone and in reality cause stress and anxiety in others who care about them.
people seem to be so selfish anymore ..... no longer seeing that with all the ability to communicate with each other i honestly think we have gotten worse at really connecting....
@toughTiger6481M
I texted my mother and tried to call her twice and she ignored all of it. Well, her phone was turned off since it went straight to voice mail both times. Today, she finally tried to call me, but I was up on a roof working and I didn't bother to answer. I didn't call her back either.
My mother is a bit of a narcissist and I'm sick and tired of dealing with it. There's a lot of other issues I've had with her over the years too which would take too long to share.
You reading my posts for a while now about my wife and now my mother, you'll probably thinking I just don't get along with women... LOL! Well, I actually do, I'm just having issue with mom and especially the wife.
Any progress with your situation at your house?
@Spearman60
sort of I am being more positive about it trying to be the best roommate ever..... LOL
@toughTiger6481
Yeah, you did label it "civil" roommates a few times... LOL!
I'm trying to do the same. I'm more focused on my mental and emotional well being than concerning myself with how she treats and acts towards me. My grandpa used to say, "Sometimes you have to overlook other people's ignorance." I kinda apply that in regards to her.
Hi, I read through, I am sorry you are going through this. I know our families are supposed to be the ones we can turn to or rely on all the time, but what is helping me is to see people who are our family as a separate individuals who have their own issues. I know it's not easy to be objective and it's a bit callous to think of it this way, but I honestly cannot think of another way to live one's life and be happy about it. This doesn't mean you stop caring but I am not sure there is a choice, if someone is living their own life and making it clear, there is no other choice but for us to do the same for our own sanity... and you know what, it kind of works, and next time I say don't be so available for them then
@Spearman60
I hear you!! I see you! and I am right beside you.
"Maybe I should just say, "heck with everyone" and just worry about myself and leave everyone alone and just stay away from them."
This is where I am right now! Bump them all.
"I try to be a kind and affectionate person towards others, but it seldom gets reciprocated back to me. Can I trade a few selected relatives (especially the above mentioned) for ones that generally care about me?"
I have a few to pair up with for you. If I don't call I wont know anything. and I am the youngest of several. Again, If I don't call, I won't hear from anyone. So I stopped calling.
Today, I focus on the things that I have control over. I cannot control other peoples actions and decisions but I do have control over my actions and the responses I give. And refuse to let others control my emotions.
by the way, my mom is the same way, she does the same, she will call or email and then when I have to email or call her back she is somehow not available
I would like to think now that it's her old age and that it's not deliberate, but honestly I don't really know.
The thing is I don't want to think negative b/c it's the last thing I need right now.
I just want be relaxed and in peace and I am so tired.
@Spearman60
Maybe talking to you gives your aging father anxiety. Perhaps it's in his emotional best interest to turn the world off when he is struggling.
Is it too late to reach your wife? Sounds sad and familiar. Do you have any genuine affection left for these people?
Real affection comes from a place of peace and empathy for me. If you have none to offer perhaps don't expect it in return.
@mamapants hi, I am respectfully replying because I don't think people understand what it's like to deal with family or anyone else who is narcissitic and abusive. I can guarantee that this individual just like I do not mention everything that goes on and the trauma that people have to endure as a result. For someone to come on a private website to vent about something like this, it clearly means people are frustrated about this. We are not trying to be victims.
sorry I meant "narcissistic"
Sorry, that makes perfect sense. I am fortunate to be unable to get it at first. My sincerest apologies.
@mamapants thank you, there really is no need to apologize but ok thanks. I am personally having a difficult couple weeks. I should think before I write sometimes or do anything. I have been stressed, I also can relate to what is said here, and it's hard to accept. Anyway thank you
Well, people need to understand that there is more to a situation than what is stated in a few posts. But I understand some people are just trying to help. But I try to understand that I can't give solid advice to anyone unless I have enough information about what the other person is dealing with.
In my situations, there is a lot of history behind them that needs to be understood and considered. So simple solutions that are offered to me, don't really fit the situation. But like I said, people are just trying to help in their own way. And I'm not one to be easily offended either.
But the history behind my two situations is lengthy and goes back a long way. 😊
So sorry to hear about this, and while fortunately I have a family that communicates very well regarding health and wellness, I see where you are coming from, since I have friends dealing with these similar problems. Have you tried expressing your concerns to your wife or parents? Maybe make it more clear to them that you are bothered by this behavior. I’ll be praying for you.
Hey Spearman. I’m dealing with codependency, too. Once you realize that’s whTs going on, change can happen, though it’s not going to be easy. It will be worth the effort!! People will quit mistreating you bc you won’t take their crap anymore. The Universe is waiting for you to stop settling for their vampiric *** away your energy. You gotta love yourself enough to protect yourself from takers. Set boundaries, have hobbies, respect yourself so much Thera will, too. I’m no expert but in the same boat. 😊
