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Latest ramblings version, same negative content

Iamwhoiamwhoami May 13th, 2023
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All of my issues have seemingly plateaued for now. No worse, nor any better. I’m not on a lot of meds yet but it still is getting harder to keep them organized properly. Nighttime meds starting to actually look extremely similar to morning meds, colorization and size. There is numbers and/or letters stamped in them but my eyesight is failing like the rest of me. I do have several different organizers that I have tried. My focus, or lack there of, is also not helping.

Nothing more on the hyperbolic chamber study. The flashbacks or whatever you want to call them are still active, just not as rampant. Paranoia has been always lurking in the corner. Brain flickers have been mainly small episodes, . Depression is still at its usual overwhelming level, social anxiety struggles are becoming increasingly difficult to control. Phobias are slowly increasing. Losing focus for now

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP May 14th, 2023
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Too much of the same nonsense is what I am tempted to write. Over and over and over again, I should just make a note on my reminder board to not write anything here until I have something, anything new.

This “diary” or whatever this is , I just don’t know what the purpose of it is. Writing my thoughts and darkest feelings here for all to read, for all to see into the darkness of my heart, mind and soul.

I am so desperate for change yet I don’t have any drive left to really try. No point in trying, only failure is the outcome.

Whatever happens, happens I suppose.

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP May 14th, 2023
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A new thought raced around my head today and I was forced to wonder if the age on my birth certificate would be correct using the theology of the abortion bans and viable fetus debate. I mean, if a fetus is “viable” then technically I am technically approximately nine months older by that logic.

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP May 14th, 2023
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Following that same logic, birth certificates for everyone are wrong so then there’s a gender debate solution, while fixing the birthdate issue, correct the gender.


Iamwhoiamwhoami OP May 14th, 2023
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What else is there to say? Things are the way they are and I am trapped in my destiny.