50+ Check-in October 11-13, 2024

@amiablePeace77 I used to think that fitting in meant being part of a large group of friends.. being quote “the normal person” that does and is what others would find good in a person… Now I don’t worry about fitting in.. if anything I feel there is a certain strength in being able to feel comfortable with being “different”. I just value my deep connections with a few friends and family and focus on the things that make me happy. :)

@amiablePeace77 especially in the workplace

I never cared all that much about fitting in but I am craving others who understand me and are more able to be there for me. So I get that part. I was married until a few years ago and while my husband lacked in some very significant ways, he always got me more than anyone I've known so not having this anymore is a huge loss. Let me know when you find the secret :)

@amiablePeace77 What does "people who are can" mean?

When I was very young my mother encouraged me to be myself, to march to the beat of my own drum...on the surface, that is. I didn't care much for social conformity until very late in my teens. (Socially I suffered for it. Kids can be cruel. Sociopathy is a thing long before adulthood, despite what the DSM says. Being small for my age & good in most academic subjects didn't help, either)

When we moved to the Midwest my attitude changed for the first time...to an extent. I became a hick. 😆 Looking at how my life has played out now, I think it's because despite my urban upbringing my character is more comfortable in a rural environment. The only trouble I run into is that townies & country folk are often uneducated & can be narrow-minded. That, however, is no less true of city people. One thing I've learned in life: you'll run into mental mediocrity everywhere you go.

Since then the years passed, of course...I moved around a bit. These days I consider social conformity a necessary butt-wart of the human condition at worst. At best it is a fine mechanism by which human life is made possible...it can even be a tool for achieving contentment, for many people. It's never been such for me, though.

As a woman I feel almost invisible and honestly most the time I don’t kind. But I do sometimes miss the attention.