50+ Check-in October 11-13, 2024
How do you think differently about "fitting in" now vs. when you were younger?
In age it's not anymore about fitting in for me but finding people who are kind and who understand me.
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I never did fit in. When I was young I wanted to be liked by more people around me, such as the other kids in school. I knew I couldn't change myself to try and fit in, to be more like them. I would just look silly if I tried. I just stayed myself. A few kids accepted me, many rejected me, and some didn't notice I was there.
By the time I was out of high school, I didn't care who liked me at all, except for certain girls I liked (especially one). She never wanted to have anything to do with me. I never saw most of those people after graduation.
I worked several jobs and met many people. I didn't make friends with anyone and didn't fit in with any cliques at any of those places. I didn't care, really. I was dealing with my PTSD, though I didn't know that was what it was at the time. I lost a couple of jobs because of it.
@WharfRat
I believe that if we have to change ourselves to fit in, we fit in the wrong suit. You stayed authentic to yourself in young age already. It must have felt good though that some kids accepted you as you were. Sorry to hear about that girl, it can be quite painful to feel that the one you liked never showed interest especially when you're so young.
@amiablePeace77
In the past people wanted to fit in with me because I had something to offer.
Now that i am no longer part of the "IT Crowd" not so much. All I have to offer now is myself.
@Gettingbettertoday
I believe it's not uncommon that people lose interest in a person when they do not provide anymore what the group is looking for, but it still hurts.
You have enough to offer here though, and you do fit in!
@amiablePeace77. When I was young I worried more about filtting in. It’s not something that I worry about that much in my older years which makes for less stress.
@adventurousBranch3786
I hear you! Age often brings a kind of "Who cares" attitude (not meant in a bad way).
@amiablePeace77 How do you think differently about "fitting in" now vs. when you were younger?
When I was younger I worried about fitting in with the other people.
Now that I am older I worry about fitting into my clothes! 😊 In other words I do not worry too much about fitting in with others.
@soulsings
Hahaha soul, I love your sense of humor!
I think with age our priorities change and we see life in a different way.
@amiablePeace77 glad someone laughs at my silly jokes.
@soulsings
😃
@amiablePeace77
I don't worry about fitting in much. If I don't feel welcomed then oh well🤷♀️
@WorkingitThrough2
It is their loss WorkingitThrough2! We welcome you here with open arms!
@amiablePeace77
Thank you so much. That put a long lost smile back on my face.😊
@WorkingitThrough2
Good to see you smiling 😀
@amiablePeace77
Thanks, Ami, learning lessons that change your perspective on things is a great teacher😂
@amiablePeace77 as I get older I am less concerned about fitting in with the crowd because the crowd has all gone on their way and I am on my own path now.
@soulsings
Nice you found your path!
@amiablePeace77
How do you think differently about "fitting in" now vs. when you were younger?
When I was younger, I felt VERY PRESSURED to 'fit in', being lgbtq. As rights were acquired/entrenched (Canada), I started to feel 'freer', more confident, yet cautious. Yet, as an older LGBTQ person, watching how LGBTQ rights are being eroded (here in Canada - aka Trans Youth), working in a 'specific culture' work environment (that is still 'ignorant' to a large degree), living on my own, I find myself 'feeling' to be careful of what & how much I say about 'backlash' against LGBTQ, and returning to the 'closet', even though there are 'rights' in place. To keep the peace, I find myself talking less about such issues, lest I am the one who either gets into trouble (at work), or deemed 'argumentative/dementia/etc.' There are LGBTQ supports for older LGBTQ persons. However, society (and some cultures) have a long way to go to recognize & honour elder LGBTQ persons.
@CaringSub
As a human being I find it hard to understand that it was (and still is in some countries) made so hard for members of the LGBTQ community to be themselves. We all have the right to be ourselves and no one should be rejected that right. I am very sorry to hear about the shift in your country and that you do not feel safe to be open about belonging to this community. It must be very hard to work with others, maybe even hear negative comments about the topic and stay quiet.
I hope things will change again and LGBTQ persons will be accepted for who they are everywhere in this world. I know it will still take a while, but we need to get there, we need to embrace each other with an open heart and an open mind.
@amiablePeace77
Thank you for your reply. I feel grateful to live in a country where LGBTQ rights are law across our country. Having said that, even here, there is a 'backlash' rising, that could 'erode' the rights lgbtq fought for decades ago.
But I am an elder in the fight - and yes, it is a fight. I am tired. It is up to the younger generation of LGBTQ+ people to uphold & continue the fight.
@amiablePeace77
When I was younger, I always wanted to fit in. Although a lot of people knew me, I only had a few close friends. When I went to college, I was even more alone.
When I had kids, I hoped that I could make friends with other mothers, so I joined various activities with parents and children. However, although they spoke to me politely, They never included me or talked to me outside of activities. Many of them knew each other growing up and had very close ties.
Later, at work, it was the same thing. So gave up the hope of fitting in.
@NotAllHere713
It's hard to get into a group when people know each other from childhood or just for a very long time. I am glad you joined this site because here you are accepted and fit in perfectly like all of us!
@amiablePeace77 I used to think that fitting in meant being part of a large group of friends.. being quote “the normal person” that does and is what others would find good in a person… Now I don’t worry about fitting in.. if anything I feel there is a certain strength in being able to feel comfortable with being “different”. I just value my deep connections with a few friends and family and focus on the things that make me happy. :)
@ImALittleStuckInPast23
It seems that you found a good way to live! 👍
