Daughter/Grandson Worries

@halfempty1

I hope you can see the world of your daughter and even your grandson are not on your shoulders we can do so much to try to fix things for others but it takes a huge mental toll....

have you spoken to your daughter about things or simply explained the best you can to grandson kids are more resilient than we give them credit for..... do not stress all this is NOT your problem to fix.

I talk to my daughter regularly about all this, and my grandson and I are very close. I have my work schedule arranged so that I am able to pick him up from his charter school.

I am a very sensitive person, which is both good and bad. I have a lot of empathy, but it comes back to haunt me because I feel very sad for a lot of people and for animals.

We can only do so much, but I am just worried that the drama is never going to end. I know I cannot control what happens or the choices others make, but I feel like there is always going to be this HUGE cloud of major dysfunction, and I am just really sick of it. My dad was an alcoholic, and so are my two siblings. My brother quit drinking, but my sister still drinks to the point of passing out. My mother is codependent and makes excuses for everyone. I tried very hard to get my children out of the dysfunction, but here we are with this situation! And it is a major one!

@halfempty1

I hear you and can empathize but i learned awhile ago destroying your mental health and such helps no one in the end

True! It also doesn’t help that I am totally alone. I don’t even really have friends. One of my friends lives in another state and just opened a business. I never see her, and now she’s very busy. My other friend is a doctor, and in the past five weeks he has hardly been responding to my text messages. He also lives in another state, so I rarely see him. I have known him 26 years and am now feeling somewhat abandoned by him. That in itself is a whole other issue.

I work from home and am very isolated. Again, more issues! The main person I see and spend time with is the grandson I am so worried about.

@halfempty1 I understand the situation is frustrating. I am in a similar situation with my twin sister and her two young children. Unfortunately, this is your daughter's journey. You can provide support and guidance but at the end of the day, you need to have boundaries and live your own life. There are therapy services through 7 cups and it is reasonably priced, have you checked on those?

I wish you strength in handling this situation <3

Thank you. It is my daughter’s journey, but it isn’t hers alone. She is dragging my grandson along with her and me as well because I care about my grandson!

My daughter isn’t totally horrible, and she has managed to get a master’s degree in the last few years. My grandson does see her working hard, and she does keep their house clean and takes him to his various sports activities. I just wish she was not SO bossy and that she would spend more time interacting with him.

@halfempty1

I don't want to come across as harsh but she got pregnant so she SHOULD take responsibility for her child not only that but be a better parent towards him. She chose to not use protection so she can't hate her life or take it out on him. I really think you should talk to her about how important it is to be a loving mother because that child really deserves it

I hear what you are saying, but I truly love my grandson and feel that I need to be there for him. I have talked to her about her behaviors and continue to do so. She is a smart girl, has always worked hard, and is always be recognized for her job performance. She has been doing better with my grandson, but she still needs to improve on the way she interacts with him.

I think all this is really bothering me more than usual (and even “usual” is a lot) because of the holidays. My grandson’s dad is going to be in jail for not showing up for a probation meeting. It is ridiculous! What he got in trouble with to begin with was drug possession. I am just so angry at him for being so stupid and putting my grandson through this!

Hi

i highly suggest you join a support group, there are plenty of virtual support groups ever since covid. Look into free counseling online, i know there are NGOs that do free counselling. I suggest you and your daughter see a therapist together and the grandchild stays with you some days. I dont want to make a big deal out of it, but the child needs as much love especially at such a vunerable age.

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you. I do try to spend a lot of time with my grandson. I agree that it’s very important he gets a lot of love.

Thank you. I do try to spend a lot of time with my grandson. I agree that it’s very important he gets a lot of love.

Thank you. I do try to spend a lot of time with my grandson. I agree that it’s very important he gets a lot of love.