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Trying to let go and move on & Failing miserably

User Profile: vash151
vash151 February 9th, 2021

Hey everyone, 35 out of Arizona. Been having an amazing start to 2021. Long story short, Girlfriend of about 5 years decided after Christmas to stop any and all contact with me, thought I had moved past it but found more things out this past weekend and everything hit me again all at once 10x as hard as it did when I gave up after after weeks of trying to get some response from her. So here I am. Trying to find some new ways to let go of everything, move forward, move on and not give her the control over my happiness in life. May have made a gigantic mistake today by letting emotions get the best of me and sending a text that I probably shouldn't have sent. I'm a mess right now and don't know why this is so much worse than other times.

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User Profile: amiableBlackberry92
amiableBlackberry92 February 9th, 2021

Dear vash, I'm so sorry your in pain. It's likely your feeling grief over the loss. I had a similar loss last year and it crushed me. But I started writing about it and it helped me see things a little clearer. Some ppl are on your path for a short time and then they leave it so the next person can come into your life . Universe at work I think. Just know your not alone in your suffering and ppl care. I care.

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User Profile: vash151
vash151 OP February 10th, 2021

Thanks. That means a lot. I'm still a mess, got some closure yesterday but also found out even more that has made it so much worse. I haven't slept for more than an hour or two a night Saturday, even after taking things specifically to help me sleep like melatonin. Just can't get my head to calm the replays of everything leading up to now. It's memory after memory, replaying past events, internal arguments with myself... It's torture. Don't want to eat, can't sleep, just feel like an empty shell of a man.

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User Profile: amiableBlackberry92
amiableBlackberry92 February 10th, 2021

Vash, don't be too hard on yourself. Be gentle like you would to a friend. Grieving takes time. Reach out to a Dr, teacher, coach, friend for help . I have been in therapy about 3 yrs now and it definitely is helping me find healthy ways to cope and heal. It's very difficult to ask for help, it was for me. But I did and I'm better. You might need stronger sleep meds. You can't cope or heal without good sleep. I went to a Dr. I trust and she put me on a good path. Don't give up you deserve happiness and love in your life. Strong ppl ask for help!!

User Profile: sincereKiwi3857
sincereKiwi3857 March 26th, 2021

i know how it feels.just stuck in same situation 😔