Hello, new here
Hi new here thought I would try this out, I'm 37 father of one (he doesn't live with me but I see him weekly) I've struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life, I berate and belittle myself constantly, I'm very socially awkward, I have no confidence in myself, I don't talk much and struggle to make/maintain friendships, I've been alone now for 14 years and I'm finding life very difficult at the moment, some days are better than others, some I can get out for quiet walks, others I can't face getting out of bed, I feel nervous all the time but without reason, I have lost my identity, I just exist now, I feel empty, hopeless, useless, I'm trying to get better but it's hard fighting alone, I don't want to give up but I'm so tired of failing, it's hard to stay motivated y know. I'll be honest this feels stupid and pathetic writing this out now I just don't know what else to do, I don't want to feel like this
Hello, @chamberkid,
i’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. It’s kind of the similarity that I’m going through now i also suffer from major depression. Anxiety, and other medical conditions. So for me is also very hard to keep going theirs days that I have good but others I also feel like not wanting to get out of bed and just stay there. Sure I do happen to have family around me and they intend to cheer me up but theirs nothing that could make me happy. I do see my dr for regular check ups, and also see a psychiatrist, counselor that is helping me get through this. But believe me not even with all this support around me I’m able to feel any better, I also feel hopeless like what is the point of even being here, but sometimes I just wake up to the reality and think wait a minute why I’m thinking this way I have children of my own, i have a family that cares for me why do i think this way? But you know why we think this way because we are depress and its consuming out life slowly without us even realizing it.
I get medication from my Dr and also my psychiatrist but i don’t even take it not sure why i just think that I’m starting to forget things and well i just don’t take it. The difference between me and you is that i do talk to people i do want to make friends but it’s really hard to find a real friend now a days. I had a best friend of mine that was always there for me, but she committed suicide so I lost her a year a go and iI still miss her like crazy. I just wanted to tell you I know it might be hard to keep moving forward and it’s ok I’m glad you took the first step in coming to this site and with you just posting here how you feel is one step that you want someone to heart you out, so you don’t feel this way anymore. Please don’t beat yourself up try to do things you like to do like maybe listen to music or go out for walks like you say you do, our what other things do you enjoy doing maybe you can try to do other things to. I don’t know if you are seeking professional help or not, if you are not than i will suggest you doing it so you will feel less alone.
I understand how you are feeling trust me being a person that is not just to making friends or opening up to people its a little hard and it’s understandable nobody has to force you to do something you don’’t want to do. It’s only you the one who chooses when it’s time to open up to someone and when that time comes I’m sure you will feel a lot better so for right now try to take it slow and if you ever need someone to hear you out I’m here. I know that I’m a girl and you might not feel comfortable taking to one, but i just want you to know that you are not alone and we are here for one another we can get through this. Yes we can :) sending positive vibes your way I hope my words help you a little i know I’m having a hard time to, but being here with this site reading other peoples posts are helping me so much.
