Random strangers seem to hate me for no reason
I don't get it, I just don't get it. I'm polite. I mind my own business. I keep to myself. I can understand not being popular, but to hate me......? Why? A random old lady approaches me in a supermarket- never met the woman- and tells me (a certaim cuss word beginning with f) you. It happens a lot. People scowl at me, people cuss at me.... I mind my own business and try to be polite, as I previously stated. Is it my looks? I realize I'm a fat, ugly guy but it isn't as though I live in a bell tower and have a hump in my back, or something. Is it because I don't smile at people? Because, I was under the impression that smiling at random people was considered "creepy." Is it because I'm quiet? Well, guess what; I could be more talkative if I felt that people wanted to talk to me. When I do socialize, I'm always the one to initiate the interaction, never the other person. If that doesn't send a clear message, I don't know what does. I'm not asking for the world to modify itself to accommodate my sensibilities, or anything ridiculous like that. I just want to understand how it works. I want to know why people react as they do to my presence. I wanted to know why my mere existence seems to offend some people? Is it some irrational cognitive bias, or something?
I'm tired of hearing "it isn't them, its you," "you don't give people a fair chance," "you must be doing some wrong," "you exude an aura that puts people off," "you need to 'open up' by being more friendly," etc etc etc....
I guess I just want to admit that the world will treat certain people badly for no valid reason.
It is them, not you. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
People may be surprised by your post and maybe think you are exaggerating ....... however If this is happening i would suggest it is something else.....
i cannot seem to hide my feeling in in my facial expressions ..........if someone lets say in a store is perhaps doing something like deciding to turn a cart around in a small aisle with zero regard for others they may be holding up or just not being courteous seeing others may need a product they have decided to camp in front of telling someone their life story............
i may roll my eyes and make a look i guess that shows my impatience with them .......but i do NOT even know i did it i..................
....if someone is shopping with me they will say "smile or something cause the look on your face says you think this person sucks etc..." could you possibly have something like that ..... IT is often referred to as "Resting B face "
@toughTiger6481 This was no exaggeration, actually..... look, I'm far from perfect, but I do my best to consider others around me. Some things get by me without me taking notice, becausein all honesty, I'm not the smartest of people, but it isn't a deliberate thing. As far as my facial expression, I have the same pensive look on my face as everyone else. Besides.... how do you smile when people don't seem to like you, in the first place? It's total feedback loop. How do you break it? ..... especially in a broken, cynical society who's quick to dismiss friendly people as "creepy"?
@silasMarner
I never assumed an exaggeration just some that have not experienced it might..... i was only offering an option since when i look ticked off sometimes if i am running through things in my mind it show s on my face and some people have made looks like .........how dare i when i really had no idea what ever expression was on my face.
i agree it is odd........ when you smile and people are freaked out or something ... i wish i could give you better ideas.
@silasMarner
Hi! I honestly think that it’s because a lot of the world is judgmental and superficial. I say this because - as a woman, I’ved noticed that I experience very different reactions from strangers depending on how I’ve dressed up or not. If I have a bad day and look frumpy, I’ve noticed I get treated worse by strangers. If I have a good day and look attractive, people are smiling at me and being very nice. I notice similar changes depending on if I wear makeup or not, wear glasses or not, my posture, what tone of voice I use, etc. From this, I’ve come to the conclusion that human society is very shallow.
Don't smile at others if you don't feel like it. You are valuable independently. If you are not the one offending, let the others be and ignore them, focus on what you need to accomplish, and be kind whenever you feel like it. Use iPods along the way while listening to something you are interested in projecting onto others. Like, If you want to seem fun, listen to something fun. If you want to appear friendly, listen to something that will relax your facial gestures, etc.
@toughTiger6481
Hi! I honestly think that it’s because a lot of the world is judgmental and superficial. I say this because - as a woman, I’ved noticed that I experience very different reactions from strangers depending on how I’ve dressed up or not. If I have a bad day and look frumpy, I’ve noticed I get treated worse by strangers. If I have a good day and look attractive, people are smiling at me and being very nice. I notice similar changes depending on if I wear makeup or not, wear glasses or not, my posture, what tone of voice I use, etc. From this, I’ve come to the conclusion that human society is very shallow.
@silasMarner
It isn't just you. On NYE, I was with my friend and we were just trying to have a drink to toast NYE. The pub apparently closed at 10 PM so we went to a corner store right next to it.
There were a bunch of kids and they preceded to call us probably the same f word you describe. They then tried to start a fight with us and we just walked away. I don't know what's up with people these days. It wasn't always like this as I recall.
@silasMarner
My friend, people are just f**ed up, and there's no changing that. I'm not sure why so many people look at you and decide to be rude toward you because of their own personal opinions of you. Society is so demanding in how everyone is supposed to talk, walk, dress, breathe, how to smile..etc. My mom also has this same issue, and she says it's because of the way she looks, even if she does everything in her power to be nice and considerate towards others, so what she does now is just common courtesy. She doesn't care anymore of what people think about her, so she just ignores them, and if people start to act up toward her, she'll correct them and/or walk away, since it's usualy not worth her time to give the attention that those people are looking for. She has other things to do besides giving a f**k for what others think. I can't tell you how to act or why these people are rude towards you, and I can't suggest a solution for your situation, but what I can tell you, is that it is truly not worth your time to give those buttholes the attention they crave. They may even act this way because they've had a *** day, or they've been treated the same way, so that's all they know how to do. Which isn't right, and it's definitely not an excuse for treating you this way. I'm truly sorry that you have to deal with this.
