No clear path

@zeetee17

its true that after betrayal one may not feel the same but its still possible to heal , its just that healing takes time . for some it could be healed faster while for some it goes slowly. it totally depends on the situation one is in the future decision one is ready to take to speed up that healing . like say for example if someone has betrayed me , choosing option

1. i hate him and feel bad what he has done

2. me thinking he had the opportunity to do so , i will not break relationship with him but i will forgive him but also understand that he has broken my trust.

which of the options do you think will help me heal faster? (without any side effects)

that's really insightful, thank you

I know, some of these damn people 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Thinking they can get away with whatever… anyway.

That part of you is stiiiiiilllll yours. It’s not going anywhere. So it is in YOUR control, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

I know it felt like whoever betrayed you had control over that part, but they do not have that power anymore. no one can TAKE you away from you. So now you’ve got to nurture that part of you however you can!

You CAN rediscover that power. The miracle of nature is that beings are designed to heal! This is an opportunity to look inwards and give yourself more loving attention than ever. You are a WARRIOR, okay. Keep strong, keep that head up ❤️‼️

@SwanOfAges

V.v I very much feel this. The jazz throws me off. It's a man thing. I go downstairs instead and shoe shop X.x

Betrayal was always in the heart of that person. Its actually good that it came out and you found out the truth. So you could end it and move on. Trustworthiness is also in the hearts of some people and that is who you will be looking for and will one day find. Trust is earned. It takes time. Do not put too much trust in a person too soon. Time reveals much. Peace to you.

@zeetee17 I am very sorry to hear that you have been hurt by the traumas of betrayal and loss of life. I know that these events can really traumatize and change us, and I know that words on a computer screen might not bring that much comfort. But I am here for you, and I can assure you that healing from these events is always possible, and you will find that ray of sunshine that brings you joy on even your darkest days.

thank you for saying that

Hi I am feeling the same too

im so sorry this happened to you too

@zeetee17 Exactly my thoughts. But then I remember that we have to take one step at a time. Hi , I'm Fleur ... Feel free to contact me if you ever wanna share anything .

Forgive them. Not because they deserve it, but because you deserve it. Its called grace. When we hold onto grudges, we start to get physically and mentally sick. I’ve heard of people get disease for not being able to forgive, because theyre spirit is not at peace. Its not easy, but it is worth it. When you forgive, you let go of the chains of anger and hate.

I will never forgive him for what he did. i dont care how anyone judges me for this. some acts are unforgivable. I'm trying to survive and cope with the trauma he caused, "grace" isnt exactly my priority

@zeetee17

Same here Zee. I'm so sorry, and I too feel lost. May peace and happiness be upon us. <3

sorry for what you are going through. i hope we get better

@zeetee17

Thank you for your compassion Zee <3

I'm very sorry you experienced this type of pain and trauma. Let yourself feel all the emotions for sure...but don't stay in the emotions long term. Seek the help you need to work your way through and surround yourself with loving and caring friends/fam.

Some years ago my wife at that time tells me out of the blue that she was leaving me. Come to find out she had been seeing a guy at her job for months. At that time I was trying to work thru some issues and I guess it was to much for her to handle. Betrayal does change a person. It hurts, it hurts bad. And sometimes that hurt doesn't go away no matter what you try. But @zeetee17 stay the course. That vivacious person is still inside you. It's just being protected right now by some pretty big walls. Time will help those walls come down and before you know it that vivacious person will be unleashed!! And you will be a better stronger person for enduring and getting thru it. I sincerely hope the best for you.

thank you. im sorry for what your wife did. i feel like living in pain is just too hard. wish there was an end to it

Living in pain is hard. It can drain you emotionally mentally and even physically. @zeetee17 your self worth it worth fighting for. Time will heal you if you allow it. I didn't think the pain would end for me but it did. In time I even learned to forgive her and not hold bad feelings for her. I didn't trust her and kept my distance but I did forgive her. Even when their relationship came to a screeching halt and all *** broke loose I didn't smile at her pain. I'm a better person than that. Take it one day at a time.

Let me clarify that when I say "I'm a better person than that" and that I forgave her does not mean that I think you should forgive him or that your not a good person if you don't forgive him. What I mean is that I personally don't smile at other people's misery and it was my choice to forgive her. Everyone has to make their own choices. So I hope I did not offend you or anyone else.

Thank you for sharinf your experience. Do you mind me asking if you guys ended up staying together? How long did it take you to accept and get past what she did? Do you feel like you've healed from it? Sorry for the questions, I just feel like you understand what I'm going through

Please don't apologize for asking more questions. You are welcome to ask what you want. In fact I encourage it.

No we did not stay together. Eventually I forgave her but that doesn't mean I had to trust her again or give her another chance. "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" is one rule I try to live by.

I accepted what she did immediately. Wrong is wrong. But it took me a year and half to get past it and not hate her anymore.

I don't feel like I've healed 100% from it but to be honest I feel that's more my fault than hers. But I do feel that if you handle adversity the right way not only can you heal but you can be stronger and wiser from it.

I would love to share more details from my experience. If you'd like I can share my email with you

@zeetee17You're Gonna Be Okay (Lyric Video) - Brian & Jenn Johnson | After All These Years - YouTube

@zeetee17

The scar from betrayal usually changes us. Sometimes in more ways than we realise.

Hope the recovery journey is smooth and takes you to a much better place.

Stay strong and keep going. We got this!

thank you

Hey @zeetee17

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Experiences mold us in to different people than we were in the past. I hope you heal and become a stronger version of yourself for yourself