I need to vent
Hello, I am making this post because I am confused about a few things these past years. One of the questions is why does my Mother get upset with me when I am not talking, sleeping all day, and not coming out of my room or having no motivation to do anything or if I don’t literally work like a maniac around the house helping out and not having any time for myself but she calls it lazy when in reality I don’t feel like trying anymore.
Years ago, I wrote on a piece of paper telling her that I was depressed because I didn’t wanna say it out loud, she said that I’m not depressed and don’t have no reasons to be depressed but long time ago I told her that I was depressed but she just brushed it off/ didn’t even talk to me about it, my grandma did. I’ve become so confused that I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, I’ve felt like this for years now.
Lately I’ve been staying up all night and sleeping all day and distracting myself with no breaks. Today she got upset about that and called my grandma as always to tell her that I was sleep. Then what triggers me the most is how she tells my grandma that it “bothers her” that I sleep all day and barely come out of my room etc. If it bothers her, wouldn’t she try talking to me, asking me what’s wrong or something instead of getting angry with me just because I’m feeling this way? Why is she even getting mad? It’s not like it’s her problems.
Tbh my family doesn’t care for their kids mental health. They always will be in denial or blame it on the “Devil” when it’s nothing like that. So I don’t understand why she is so upset with me when I feel sad and stuff then she turns around and starts crying to my grandma trying to make me feel even worse like it’s her problems when it’s not. Does she ever wonder why I fake how I’m actually feeling? Because she’ll get mad at me if I say I’m sad. So I just pretend. Then my grandma calls me and tells me to go comfort her but nobody is there to comfort me. Like huh? So she starts crying about me sleeping all day and stuff like that/ not talking/ feeling sad and she needs comfort from everyone but when it comes to me needing comfort from her, she treats me like I’m a problem when I’m feeling sad. I don’t get it. Trying to make me the bad guy.
Then I remember, she had got mad at me for being sad some months ago and she was banging on my door and then told me that she was gonna make me sleep in the garage. Instead of asking me what’s wrong, she just gets mad and acts like I’m a problem. But then when I start feeling better, she isn’t mad towards me. Then parents wonder why their children don’t talk to them. Idk wtf they thought but having kids isn’t just all sunshine and f*cking rainbows, they have emotions too. Not just adults can be sad smh.
Also, another thing. When she had asked me what’s wrong and I sent her pictures of my writings in my diary that I’ve had for some years now, she didn’t even say something comforting, she just started sending a whole bunch of praying hands and god this, god that gifs thingys. She’s made me cry more than anybody else tbh. Even your own parents can make you feel depressed.
@strwberryhearts hey this sounds like a lot to deal with. I can relate to the part where your mother ignored your health issue and got emotional and made herself to be the one requiring comforting. I had a peer who did that to me once.
People don't always get mental health issues and they turn to blaming the patients for not being competent/strong enough. So many people in society have this impression that mental illness is some sort of an excuse people find to escape responsibility. It's just really unfortunate. We need to create awareness about this as much as possible.
@Creamyyy Hello and yes :( it’s the worst when they do that and act like they are the ones needing comfort. My mother does it every time she sees me not talking/ sleeping all day/ and feeling sad. Then she gets mad at me for it.
And this is so true, my mother always says that I need to “let go of the devil” meaning like if I did that then I’ll feel better and feel stronger but when it’s not even that. It took me years to finally even sit down and talk to her about some of my past problems that happened 2 years ago. I’ve just held so much in these past years and all I feel is anger deep down, like I wanna scream.
I agree, we do, because when people do this, it’s like they are just silencing the person that is going through tough times by turning into the person that needs comfort when they actually don’t.
Hey there,
I am a fellow depressed person, but somehow still functioning. Totally get what you mean about not wanting to do anything and totally get that nobody in the family understands.
When I had no motivation to go on, I made getting the *** out of my house and away from my family a definite goal. It was rough, full of stupid mistakes, but it's totally worth it.
When I was still living with my family, it made me sick in the stomach to think of how much I depended on them... You are probably thinking the same way (you hate it but you can't help but to stay in it).
Anyway, after going away I am still struggling with my depression, but at least now I can focus on myself instead of dealing with other people reaction.
I wish you good luck on whatever you want to do. Stay strong, don't let the depression get you down.
@Dana444
Yes, absolutely. Similar story here.
The cold hard fact is, whoever is funding your life, controls it.
So
yeah, as soon as I was old enough to make my own money and get my own
place, I was gone. I was free to be me and not who they wanted me to be.
No joke about it being rough ...but yeah, totally worth it. That
freedom, independence & sense of control over my own life helped
improve my self-confidence and motivation more than anything. Depression
still happens because life can be cruel and unfair sometimes, but I was able to
pursue the career that I wanted and genuinely enjoy.