Uncertain
Hello 30s!
I am 36 years old but I'm feeling like a late bloomer. A lot of regrets, hang-ups, not financially stable, no own family yet. What am I doing in the past 2 decades since I graduated? A lot of questions comes into my mind when I'll be alone.
Now, I'm thinking starting an own family is good but will I be a good mother or wife inspite of my weaknesses and capacities?
People in my place keep telling I have to have a boyfriend and be married so I can have an own family. I said to myself it's too late.
@Uncertain20
I understand your feelings. I'm kind of going through a similar situation,So I know those regrets can weigh heavily.
I think you have the power to shape your future. Start now to create a better life. It's better to start now than to start a month, a year, or 5 years from now.
also comparing ourselves to others can be especially harmful. Each of us has a unique path, and our progress should be measured against our own past selves, not against others.
and I believe you can be a wonderful mother or wife despite any perceived weaknesses.everyone has their weaknesses. and there's no right or wrong time to start a family. The question of being a good mother or wife is more about your willingness to learn and grow.
So don't give up hope. It's not too late. You have a lot of life left to live! Focus on what brings you joy and what kind of future you want to create.
I hope you reach the life you wish for.🙏🍀
@BlueSoul2290 Wow, thanks for those words of inspiration, somewhat it eases the loneliness I'm feeling before sleeping.
Yah you're right, start today not tomorrow but I have this unmotivated feeling. If I'll start for something better, for For what? And for whom? I'm really negative, right? But it's normal I think.
Wow, you have a point in saying wife and mother have weaknesses and don't have to question. I so love that.
Thank you so much for your encouragement, I really appreciate it.
@Uncertain20
I'm glad my words helped ease some loneliness. you made my day, thank you. :)
I think it is completely normal to feel unmotivated sometimes or feeling negative especially when you're taking that first step towards a new beginning.
As for starting for "what" and "whom," I think it could be for yourself ,to create a future you've always dreamed of, or to be more happy , I think there is no one right answer.
@BlueSoul2290 I hope you too, what you're experiencing or what you're feeling right now, if it's feeling blue, hope someday, someone will make it more colorful and vibrant.
We are in this together 🤗 Have a great day.
@Uncertain20
Thank you very much 😊
@BlueSoul2290 Oh, same feeling. In my case more pressuring coz I'm a woman like you know if we want to have kids, we should be pregnant on 20s or early 30s, but look at me, I'm too late.
Anyways, what we have to do is to make our mindset positive and be good to what we are planning to do that will give us happiness and satisfaction.
I hope you can find your right match and right track soon too.
@Uncertain20
It's completely understandable to feel pressure about having kids by a certain age. Society often puts those expectations on women, but it's important to remember there's no one-size-fits-all timeline for life. There are many happy and fulfilling paths to parenthood, and some people choose not to have children at all.
and you're absolutely right, focusing on a positive mindset and finding happiness in the present is key. and who knows, maybe focusing on our own well-being and creating a life we love might open the door to unexpected opportunities down the road, relationship-wise or otherwise. There are plenty of examples of people finding love and starting families later in life.
I appreciate you wishing me well on finding the right match and track.I wish you the same – a future filled with happiness and fulfillment🙏
@BlueSoul2290 Wow every inch of your words are Power, power to give me hopes and it's kinda awaken my young dreamer soul. Thank you so much.
Now, I'll list all my priorities and skills which I want to upgrade, in these ways I can be more productive and be busy than to be lonely old self again. Having a partner and good love story and family are maybe a great reward but I'll just surrender it in God's perfect time.
32 here and I also feel like a late bloomer. Never had a real career (just a string of low-wage, short-term jobs punctuated by long periods of unemployment), no stable housing (still bouncing between cheap shabby "college student" apartments), and only once had a serious romantic relationship, which ended 4 years ago.
Here's the thing: everyone's life has its own trajectory and moves at a different speed. It doesn't make sense to compare your life milestones to anyone else's. So what if you start a family later in life than other people did? It will still mean just as much to you. In fact, thr advantage of going into it later is that you're wiser and have more life experience so you might be able to approach it in a healthier way than if you had rushed into it earlier.
It’s never too late. There's still plenty of life ahead of you.
Also, think about what occupied your life instead of those traditional milestones. Those things have their own value too! E. g. you probably put more energy into your friendships than people with spouses and kids are able to, building a stronger support network for yourself. Or maybe you invested more time into hobbies and developed special skills that will stay with you. For me, even my chronic job switching has a silver lining: I've learned a really broad range of skills from all the different types of work that I've tried. Try to appreciate and be grateful for what your "non traditional" experiences have given you the chance to learn or build, things that "early bloomers" might have missed out on.
Wishing you lots of luck in moving your life in the direction you want! There's always room for change, just take it one little step at a time!
@boltzmannentropy
Oh, we're on thesame page. When I was at your age, I felt thesame. I was lost, but I didn't make any changes, maybe I tried at first but won't last coz I was not motivated. Also, we had family issues, now it's seems a new chapter for me alone.
I have these dreams in my dreams in my mind, not just for me but for the people I cared about but I'm so negative to start from scratch in building those dreams.
Every journey has to start somewhere! I like to focus just on the next smallest step I can take toward my dreams.
@boltzmannentropy Hey I'm wondering why I wasn't able to reply you, I typed a lot from the past hours but just found out now, I wasn't able to send it 😅.
Now, I forgot what I typed 😄. But anyways, thank you soo much for your long and very heartfelt message. I'm happy that I'm not alone, we have same feeling. Like time is so fast but we, we're like crawling and wanting back our younger years so we can be successful at younger age.
But yeah you're right, we have different time line, no comparison needed and what we have to do is to not afraid to start something new now. Everyday is a new chance to make our life brighter.
Have a great day ahead 😊
@Uncertain20
Yeah Miss @Uncertain, I'm kinda in the same arena, 29 and just about now I've found a Pathway to skill myself and tailor it to the Career I want to possess, financial burdens prevented me from going to College and literally zero Emotional Support, doing it all alone and never had a Girlfriend till now as I have Western Cultural Preference than the place I'm at.
It's some sort of being in peace moment when you find out you aren't the only one, thank you for the post!
@GenerousLychee4993 oh I feel you, want to start a career and education but no financial support. But it's more sad coz no emotional support too. How you're coping it up? Maybe you can find gf in the future and for the meantime focus on building yourself, step by step procedure. Just trust the process and everything will be alright.
Speaking as a person in their late 30s, getting out of a toxic marriage, and now a single parent, I can honestly say the grass is not always greener with marriage and kids. Each stage of life comes with it's challenges. I miss the freedom and independence I had before I had kids. I love my kids, but there is a lot I have had to sacrifice. Happiness has to come from within....it should never be dependant on other people. Children are expensive and require so much sacrifice. Focus on self love and doing the things you enjoy. Focus on hobbies, self care, etc. The beauty of life is discovering who your truly are, and to love yourself.
@Uncertain20
I get it. I'm in the same exact place. Graduated a long time ago, now stuck in limbo, jobless, no relationship. Right back where i started 30 some years ago living with my parents.
Just trying to get some other point of view to maybe to ignite an idea or something. But there are always prospects. Always stuff on the horizon. Dont know if that helps at all, hope it does.
@Uncertain20
It's never to late and I totally understand what you mean and hear you I am age 43 and My past was a outstanding life from 2013 to 2018 but now has changed and fine myself to alone at times Being alone is very hard for me and I struggle with it and it's hard when all of my co workers are able to go home to someone Keep believing in yourself and it's outstanding that you were able to graduate!!!! Hope you have an Outstanding and Great day today
@Kully oh I can relate. Do you consider yourself as Single forever?
@Uncertain20
Thanks for the reply I really hope to find someone
