Sad 😢
My mom lost her battle with cancer last month and it's been really tough for me. Today it's really hitting me hard 😭
She found out last year in September that she had breast cancer. In October, the cancer had spread to her liver, and in January she found out that it had spread to her brain. At that point her health was getting worse and I had taken a leave of absence from my job to help take care of her.
She was very weak from the chemo/radiation and other medications she was on. She had gotten to a point where the doctor wanted her to stay at a facility for a bit to get rehab and therapy because she was so weak.
About a week and a half after she was there she was sent to the hospital because they didn't like the way she looked. She was in the ER and her blood pressure was dangerously low, her oxygen was very low, and she was very dehydrated. The next day me and my two sisters went to see her again and a doctor there talked to us and said that things weren't good and they talked about her going to hospice. He said that the cancer wasn't curable and it was only going to get worse if she didn't get her treatments, but she was too weak to get them. Shortly after we talked to the doctor, she was sent to hospice. The next day in the morning she had passed.
I've really been struggling with it. Some days I'm okay, and other days I think about it and just cry a lot. There are time when I think about something I should tell my mom or show her and then I stop and think wait I can't 😢
Sorry for the long post. I'm just struggling and having a tough day. And thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
@cag17
im really sorry about the loss of your mom. It sounds like that was a very difficult time for her and for you. Grief is a funny thing. Sometimes it’s loud and present, and sometimes it’s just tucked away inside of us.
I would like to invite you over to the grief forums. I think you will find a lot of support there if you haven’t already checked it out.
~Kristy
Hi there, @cag17 I just wanted to let you know I am thankful that you wrote this to us here at 7cups. I am glad you wrote all that you did and I want to encourage you to write more, as you feel it's needed. I agree too, with @Kristynsmama, we do have some great people to write to or read about or talk with at the Grief and Loss community, section of the forum here. We also have some guided discussions about Grief, Loss, and all the mounds of different feelings that come along with that.
Thanks for writing and sharing with us about your mom. I can see from your words that you miss her tons! which is very usual. I relate too, to you saying to yourself or wishing, "Oh but I wanted to tell Mom that" or "Mom, I've a question about.... oh." And almost having to remind yourself of your new reality. It is no fun whatsoever! I'm here (shy smile), I'll listen. I give hugs! Are you a 'yes, hugs!' person or more of a 'handshakes are cool,' or 'you made me cookies?!' I, Platy, have not yet perfected the Lasagna, but I do really like it so I could work on one for you, if you'd prefer :) Of course, I can do the Oreos and Milk at any moment too :)
Keep writing, dear friend. Keep talking, sharing, doing crafts, going for walks, ... It can be super hard to do anything that you found enjoyable before. Keep trying, dear! And if all you do today is to sit and breathe in and breathe out, then, that is enough for today.
Take care @cag ! ((offers comforting hug)) <3 Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370 thank you. Today has been a tough day as well. I've been thinking about her a lot and wishing she was still here. I just keep thinking that this can't be happening and it isn't real.
I definate love hugs and cookies and lasagna sounds amazing, so yes to all 3 😁
@cag17 See this hug? It's for you (awwwhh) <3
p.s. Do you know this movie? Big Hero 6 (2014) by Disney. A good "zone out" movie. Good movie for the story too, but if you need a zone out, do nothing, "watch" a movie type of movie? - this one's good.
@cag17 if you don't mind my asking, what type of cancer was it? I'm glad she had you to be with her and hope you're surrounded by loving support
She had breast cancer that spread to her liver and brain
@cag17 cancer is so evil, it runs in my family. You honor your mother sharing this and it seems she raised a warrior even though some days are just better than others
@cag17
Condolences to you and so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I felt so sad to read this post. I guess there is not so much to say or do about your mothers passing but if you are comfortable to write the things you would have liked to say to her then I hope we can support you in this way. If not then I again say sorry to hear about this and only hope that you can feel better with time. Losing a parent is probably the hardest thing so I can only wish you feel better with time even if it is something that is never completely gotten over