Narcissistic Abuse
Looking to talk to another person that has experienced extended emotional abuse from narcissistic gaslighting, love bombing, and discard. Trying to be ok with a divorce and find a way to stop wanting to have that person around. I want to be able to be myself without judgement, or accusations, or having to explain how I feel having nothing to do with them.
@Lives4mydogs Hello and thank you for sharing! It's totally normal for you to want to be valued and loved as it is also hard to overcome a divorce. Narcissists tend to be very manipulative and make you feel like you are the problem in many cases as well as leave some bad trauma to your self-esteem. It may take time but eventually you will be able to heal and feel happy about your decision. Please don't hesitate to connect with a listener if you want to talk about this further with someone. We are all here for you to listen and support you!
@Lives4mydogs
Though I have never been married or dated anyone with an NPD, I have had my share of narcissistic abuse from other people. They were: my parents, siblings, aunt, a crush, boss, and people who I thought were my friends.
The best thing for you to do with your spouse is to remember that you can't fix them and nor can you get through to them. As for never wanting to see them again, it's best recommended that you go no contact with this person. That means calls, texts, emails, etc. Also, it's best if you avoid areas where they might hang out. Finally, don't give them any more personal information about you.
However, it's best for you to take care of yourself for a while
@Summershy Thank you. I have to go back into no contact and not give the personal info. That one is hard for me. But I am learning the patterns he uses to get my attention at the same time.
@LadyWitDaCookie
For instance, I decided to go no contact with my aunt before she died. This was after she guilt tripped me after learning that she was losing control over me. "I am tired of being ignored and you're so selfish."
@Lives4mydogs hi i know exactly what youre going through because i am now experiencing it too. i am willing to chat with you anytime just message me and we can talk about it and see if we can come up with a resolution together
@Narcissticallyabused0317
Sign me up for this chat, too. I finally included the police in my abusive relationship and was rewarded with the recognition that yes, indeed, I was being abused and jail is where he ended up. I was and am still so proud of myself.
Let me know if you're interested in a chat!
@Lives4mydogs I've lived with a narcissist as well. It's really unnerving the ways that they can mess with your head. Hang in there. If you'd ever like a sympathetic listener to chat with, please message me!
@KatHugs
How have you managed and self-soothed after having difficult conversations about your past relationship? Do you experience overthinking and anxiety?
I have many thoughts afterwards that I am not good enough, my medication isnt strong enough, I did not come across professional enough. Do you have this way of thinking?
@Lives4mydogs I am here for the same reason, and this is all very new to me. But the relationship of 25yrs is horrendous to be in. We are going no contact because even our six kids are now wanting nothing to do with him. I am heart broken and healing at the same time. He has turned cruel and cold and nasty to me no matter what. He ran off and is at his mothers (big source of his Narc qualities) and we had already cut our toxic parents out of our life. I realized I was isolated after these last few years or so. Not anymore! Me and the kids are trying to relocate with the services I have, and he left us with nothing here, we were all barely surviving. But the atmosphere is lighter and we tend to thrive with our resiliency.
I’m so proud of you. And I’m so happy your kids didn’t turn on you and see him for who he really is. I was married 20 years to mine and have been out 5. He has made our lives a living *** and left us all with nothing to survive on. The courts don’t see this as abuse, and nobody understands this pain unless they’ve gone through it themselves. Thank you for sharing, and know you are loved!
@Lives4mydogs
Hello I just read your post. Life can become very painful at times. You can make it through to the other side.
@Lives4mydogs
I would love to have a or many conversations with you. I have traveled a similar path with many persons with personality disorders and FINALLY found freedom without them in my life. I am also 'just starting' my life without family, friends, or baggage. I am a young 30's female with a history of a full life, just minus no children.
Please let me know if you're interested in a group chat or 1:1. I would benefit from your life guidance as well.
Always remember, your brain is thinking about all the possibilities of life still with this person while your actions are ALL about you and health. In due time, your thoughts will catch up with your actions and you'll review all your hard work with pleasure, happiness, and pride. It is ALWAYS the right decision to leave narcissism behind - it is dangerous and deadly. It is not about who will believe you, it is about that you finally believed in your own assessment. Congratulations. You're safe now.
I am currently going through this myself if you'd like to talk I am available. It's a very tough cycle to break and it can mentally exhaust you. Understand your worth and realize you deserve better.
@rebek1022
Exactly. I am struggling with persistent thoughts that the friends I used to have in my life with my past partner could still be judging me. I never had the opportunities to talk with people that I would have liked as I am usually the active listener and have less social skills than average. Communicating is hard, especially with the fear of judgement or being incorrect.
How have you found confidence in your self-assessments after speaking in public with persons? This part of bipolar is so very hard for me. I often find I still cannot open up to people.
I just joined this app for the same reason. It’s so hard to find people who truly understand this type of abuse. Most therapists don’t even get it, as you have to live thought it yourself to really understand. I have been divorced five years now and share three children with a covert narcissist. I have no family near me and friends don’t understand how damaging these relationships are. I’m here to listen if you need someone, ok?
Newbie here as well. I've grown up with a covert narcissistic mother and also have had lived with 2 different n-men (short term). Very lonely with my experiences. I'm here if you need to talk 🙏
