Meltdown Mitigation š„“āØ
I had massive cptsd meltdown today.
The effects of childhood and the abuse, assault, ***, grief and loss, homelessness, poverty and illness let itself be known.
I had nightmares of it happening, I yelled and shouted, I swear, I shook and couldn't stop shaking and have been shaking for years and I hated it all. The chronic fight flight freeze fawn response is aging me and ruining everything.
I don't want this to happen to anyone else. But I don't know what I can do other than link a bunch of helpful videos here and hope they make a meltdown a bit easier or at least more manageable then mine was.
People keeps suggesting mental health or other such over glorified health professionals but medication these days is still inept and grossly unhelpful and most people are just intolerable to deal with.
When it comes to medication usually 10 people need to be treated for one to recieve the help they need, and we all know they say mean girls become nurses for a reason. But with a quiet resurgence in researching psychedelics the past decade and such medication as ketamine helping four out of five people treated, there's still a small reason to keep going.
Here's a video or two that may be helpful for anyone else getting the brunt end of the stick.
A Relateable and Funny post-CPTSD meltdown videoĀ
https://youtu.be/en0B7b2PkeM?si=mVkn01XubW4SmMw
Video to Watch Right Before a Meltdown to Try Prevent it
https://youtu.be/aLWL9EraNNI?si=p1uxpEdSe-f30Y5L
this is helpful. I definitely have CPTSD
@communicativePond1728 hugs you tightly ā¤ā¤ cptsd is ruining me aswell. It's just so hard. But we are fighters, we've been through the worst, and we will get through every other storm that comes out way ā¤ā¤I'm sure your links are incredibly useful, and helpful to many people here, I see you posting them alot, and you are very kind to do so ā¤ I can't use you tube, so I can't click them. But still I want to thank you for everything you do here ā¤
@Tinywhisper11 š¤ I wonder what resources I know outside YouTube...
...couple off the top of my head are Douglas Bloch's website for major depression, Byron Katie and Brene Brown's podcast and the apps AstroBella, Finch and Voidpets.
Also if anyone's looking for a fun and relaxing game, I suggest Stardew Valley. And I'll always promote Subway Surfers because it's free and then I can toot my horn and say I've ranked first. Both are available offline.
Oh, and the app Cashew is the best finance tracking and budgeting app I've found in about four years...but life outside YouTube...what's that like LoLĀ
@communicativePond1728 living with our you tube ....it's like living in the dark agesšššš
@Tinywhisper11
Just found a podcast on cptsd recovery from a renowned therapist available off YouTube and many other places.
https://rephonic.com/podcasts/the-cptsd-podcast
Forgot to press enter after the link so it activates. Here it is: https://rephonic.com/podcasts/the-cptsd-podcast
I hope there's something on self forgiveness out there because...yeah....
@communicativePond1728 self forgiveness, is so hard. I don't know if we will ever truly get passed that oneš
@communicativePond1728 that was so kind of you to do ā¤ I really appreciate that. ā¤
@Tinywhisper11 it won't even let me click on itš I have a lot of safety stuff on my tablet computer thingy. It really sucks. But government protection rules. I'll ask my carers to show me on their computer/phones, when they have a minute ā¤
@communicativePond1728 omg is it still not working... facepalmĀ
It's almost a week later and I'm finally somewhat able to start looking at what happened with perspective. Before it was a flat black surface I couldn't gain any hand, foot or toehold on. Small abrasions are being revealed that could move me fractionally and infinitely closer to the single faint star in this untold universe of darkness and nothing.
Unfortunately these new findings are still so unknown and maybe unknowable. The path seems critically dangerous. And the painful cries of all my traumas begging in cacophonous chorus for healing grows louder and more urgent and strident with each passing moment, etch a sketching horrific tracks on my psyche.
I can so easily sink into dejection and despair, wondering why choose this life rather than one of kindness, abundance and delicate lace. To be never abandoned or betrayed to burn in the fires they set and force me to set. Wondering why I chose steam, sweat, snarl and stink.
Clearly seeing a wound is only a beginning of something far more vast: It will take so much more for any of this to grow into anything substantial. It's already been eight to 10 years of rusting and rotting on the shelf.
Hard to do and be in a toxic and abusive environment. Hard to do when all around me pushes into my space for its own evil gain and habits of stupid comfort and sorry ignorance.
But these tiny abrasions in the dark may allow me to hone myself into something much more than the blunt and slow instrument left behind.
What an impossible task to ask anyone, let alone I of such prideful mind and glazed eyes.
Yet to cut away so cleanly what dares to arise...
I'm in the boat with the others runned by cptsd and childhood trauma. 12 steps program and therapy helps me at the moment. Hugz!
@Dossema am doing therapy and 12 step programs too, as well as many mental and physical health exercises such as gratitude, grounding and positivity work, basics like sleep, hygiene, hydration, nutrition, movement, socializing and journaling, time management and study and learning and meditation all daily but boy the thoughts are so deceptive and repetitive. Makes me think I'm defective and should just be thrown away.
I feel you.. Brains could be so loud sometimes but I believe it'll become much quieter, just don't give up. One day at a time.
Few months ago I was pretty sure I was losing it.. I was doing pretty much what you are doing now. When I was walking out in the nature, the first hour was unbearable, my head was about to explode of all these thoughts. Then on my way back home few hours later I noticed it was much, much quieter. Challenging walking helped me a lot.
I terms of meditation, vedic meditation helped me the most in the beginning, when it was worse. You can check vCrappy childhood fairy' and try out her version.
Stick to your routine, small steps are fine. Let the emotions pass through you and leave your body.
You are worth it! You've got this!
@Dossema yeah I've been at this for a couple decades. I don't like *** childhood fairy. Okay. I've sought and found a lot of resources in that time and been being and doing more than I could even half share in a conversation.
I was overdoing it at one point. Therapy + so many ad hoc techniques and my head was booming and about to explode.
Brain needs alone time to process and arrange the information. It was painful until I got there.
Then created simplistic routine to support me mornings and evenings.
@communicativePond1728 your are so resourceful. Do you find that having this knowledge has brought you to learn self compassion and provide a level of tolerance? Undoing the script and conditioning created by trauma can be feel like a relentless task. Every minute can seem draining and unpredictable. Applying your knowledge to the self takes determination and true courage. You might feel broken and incomplete, but you are tenacious and taking back the power from your abusers every day.Ā
@coolvibes Whether it made me compassionate or stronger or wiser or more courageous and kind from what I've been through or not doesn't matter.
@communicativePond1728 do you not see that those virtues have value and despite All your losses and grief, that you are establishing a sense of purpose? You can recognize people can benefit from the resources and knowledge you have found? Even though your reality is you face many obstacles due to the trauma you endured, you make the choice to be the captain of your own ship, and refuse to let storms from the past define you as a human being. Have you recognized your journey towards healing inspires and gives hope to others Ā living with the effects of abuse and learned helplessness? It doesnāt matter how many steps backwards you have to take or the many Ā adaptation you have to go through just to get through a day. What matters is your here and every little step forward is a testament to your grit. People need what you have to offer. How does this fact change your perspective?
@coolvibes and my power was never with my abusers or anyone toxic. That was a delusion.
@communicativePond1728
Thank you for sharing,Ā I believe it is very useful for all. I will bookmark it to watch it when my mind is at peace.Ā Ā
Also thank you for suggesting Stardew Valley. And Subway Surfer'sĀ and the app Cashew in the comments section of @Tinywhisper11 (our local hero)
I just wonder how you all so good in writing in English. Maybe coz I'm not a native speaker and find difficult to write beautifully like you all.Ā
I not so good at expressing or giving a comforting words but I can give *hugs* :)
You are brave for sharing as always.Iām sorry the experience with nurses hasnāt been great in the slightest. And it was an environment where you experienced a lot of judgement.
Thank you for encouraging others to strum along and take care of themselves
Can I share a suggestion if so? If I can pm you pond - yes or no - I donāt mind š¤
@communicativePond1728
I can no more see your profile,Ā it's just vanished.Ā But I hope you are doing well.