Sandwiched with family drama

@secretTortoise207 I'm sorry you're in such a tough place! I can hear from your words how much you are hurting. It sounds like you have a lot of stresses and responsibility in your life, and that it has really worn you down.

Sometimes it is helpful to talk through your experiences, thoughts and feelings with others. Have you reached out to a listener? You can search for those who have lived experience with family issues, being a caregiver, parenting, etc.

I do hope you can find healthy ways to deal with all the stress and things you have been going through. I am glad you are here at 7cups, and I hope you can make positive connections here.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through that, I think I know what you feeling. we probably have different situations with siblings/family, but at the end I think I get you, I have my sibling dumping all their “ugly emotional everything issues” on me; i dread any contact. I can tell you something it truly sucks and it’s stressful and it’s not fair to feel like that and to deal with. Yes the feeling stuck is not cool. I know the feeling. Specially if it can affect your little family.

Not easy but i hope you keep staying strong, I’m trying to too.

🧡💛

Hi @secretTortoise207, I'm also a single parent and can relate to that lonely feeling and others dumping their issues onto you.

I come from a dysfunctional/abusive family home, escaped it only to be in a long term abusive relationship with ex/little one's father.

I think it's good to step back and analyze the situation of things you do have control over and don't.

I recommend making a list of "What I CAN Control" vs "What I CANNOT Control".

For example, we cannot control other people's behaviour and how they treat us, be we can choose how we react (ex. Limiting contact with these people, placing our boundaries "Sorry you're going through this, but unfortunately I am not able to assist".)

It is frustrating to see a loved one continue to make bad choices, if it starts affecting your life badly, you may have to take a step away. Let them know you love them, and want what's best for them, but that it is taking a toll on your mental health.

Your health also matters.

I'm sorry you are going through this too, it's not easy when it comes to love ones. It is OK to released those feelings through tears, as it can help relieve that emotional pain. So don't feel bad, it is a normal emotion to have.

In terms of friendship... I've been joining groups (online & offline) to meet other people. I've actually met a couple of random parents & grandparents in the park, as our kids play together sometimes.

Also, I would check for maybe some support groups that are dealing with what you are dealing with. I'm currently in a DV support group IRL and we do video calls.

I do have a couple of questions, and if it's too personal or uncomfortable, you don't have to answer. Apologies if anything I say sounds insensitive or for any unwanted advice.

In terms of your grandmother, is it possible to get her a nurse for assistance? It's not always easy when it comes to elderly... My father is close to 80y.o. and he's very stubborn. It may be good to get your grandmother some professional help, so it doesn't take a toll on your health.

As for your younger sister, perhaps you can ask her for a little bit of space, as you're also going through a lot. Recommend her to join a support group, get a therapist, or even check us out here on 7cups.

Overall, you sound like a kind and compassionate person, always worried for others and taking on their issues. You empathize with them and want to make sure they're OK. Please ensure that you are also taking time for yourself and getting some self-care.

Perhaps schedule some "me days" or even fun "mother-children" trips to get out of the house. You guys could go to the movies, or a concert, or even as small as going out to get ice cream and going for a relaxing walk in the park.

You deserve that time. You're an amazing human being.

Thank you for being kind and watching our for others.

Now it's time you watch out for yourself as well and take whatever time & space you need.

Please take care and feel free to come back here with an update at anytime. I'm here to lend a listening ear or offer advice if wanted.

@secretTortoise207

Sorry to hear what you are going through and hope you be strong

@secretTortoise207 - HI, I just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going for you. I know you have a lot of stress and responsibility in your life, and that its almost impossible to take care of everything on your own, as a caregiver and a single parent.

Were you able to find someone to talk to?

You can search for a listener here: www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/