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StrugglingFemale
231 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 10, 2020
Recent forum posts
IM ALWAYS THERE FOR EVERYONE, BUT WHEN I NEED SOMEBODY OR NEED HELP, I REALIZE THERE’s NO ONE AROUND.
35 & Over Community / by StrugglingFemale
Last post
 July 25th, 2023
...See more They don’t support me when I’m in need. I always heard “I’m here for you, I got you, I got your back” or “if you need me or need help just ask” but then you try to tell them whats going on and ask, and no one is there to help or be there for you. Somehow it ends up just been about them. Unfortunately, not receiving the same kindness i have given to others is something that has been making me sad, and upset lately. I’m always there at the expense of my own time, sacrificing myself. I really feel so use like a dirty rag. I really need somebody now; health dental related, I'm nervous don't know what's going on. Even my husband is treating me indifferent unkind, inconsiderate, is like he never likes me when I'm sick. So, I'm ending up isolating myself from everyone, ( I feel like I don't want any of them around anymore, don't want them crossing my space anymore) im in discomfort and very nervous! Worried scare! and I don’t know where, who to turn to… and it also has been silence from their end too, I think that shows a lot. Maybe a stranger will be more kind and caring and accompany me, hold my hand while I get seen in a Dr office. And yet I'm holding on to hope, that the one person-my husband will think a little, and reconsider and show kindness and be the husband I'm hoping for right now. ( yeah I know)
I'm back with my crisis
35 & Over Community / by StrugglingFemale
Last post
 April 25th, 2023
...See more I don’t know how to deal with my sibling!? Months!? wants me on the phone at all times of the day every day, I’m not present like I should be with my family anymore cause of it, I have responsibilities I don’t handle the way I could and should cause I’m stuck for hours on end on the phone. And my mind is not ‘here here’ with my life the way it should cause of it. Sibling completely loosening it, unstable as heck crying horribly maniacally?! Sitting in a pool of negativity, doesn’t want to get out of her rut, cause of partner-(cheating,might split or leave🤷🏻‍♀️ but no proof of nothing) keeps saying “I can’t and don’t want to”; texts on end “ call me” “you need to call me” rings so many times. It’s starting to get me a little mad too, it’s almost there’s no effort, like the kids are not enough, the kids themselves are a mirror of him/her. It’s sad, but it’s affecting me with my family my kids, my life, my responsibilities, my job. Can’t walk through door after work tired and all, with things to do, and my family time, dinner, cause there it is, phone ringing, weekends gone cause there it is again. My husband gets upset, he doesn’t want to imagine what could be if sibling was close to us, he doesn’t want it, my husband always said he/she is controlling, and yes i can see it, cause even my mother has said herself, I don’t know what to do, don’t know what to say, I don’t have or can’t give what he/she wants. Don’t know how to handle it. I don’t feel ok with the way that I have to be there, but he/she so completely unstable and clinging doesn’t want to pull together. how do I say can’t be on the phone?! I’m sorry I can’t? I feel like I shouldn’t say I’m sorry either and I feel like I’m defending my life with my family, and it shouldn’t have to be that way?? I feel trap my self cause of this; my husband tells me–”is not my weight to carry, and I shouldn’t have to be there like this, is insane, she is driving me insane, taking me away pulling me away from my family and my life responsibilities cause he/she can’t make an effort to pull it together, and he/she is inputting it to me too. That me and my mother don’t have anything else to do, or offer anymore, that these phone calls ( or anything for that matter) are of no help for no one anymore.” It’s driving a little crazy too to deal with. But sibling refuses to make effort or find other better kind of help, keeps clinging to mother and I. And my mother is already fed up. And I just can't comprehend, I don't *** around when I don't feel ok I don't carry it around and I get out of my ruts and I self-help, and move on I don't put any weight on anybody like that, or clinging to people cause that's the only way, I done think you should do that to people. I see and I hear my kids and that is all I need they're my drive! and they need me too, teens that are going through stuff too. Mentally and emotionally. I don't get it. god forgive me, I can’t live like this, is affecting my life and my family. Is heavy is draining I need a way to clear my mind and shake off that energy after those phone calls. I can't anymore, I could end up losing my marriage and my family cause of this, if it continues this way, no, or is that what he/she is looking for?! So I could be the same as he/she and have me like a tight rope that way; Is that what she's trying to do??? I can’t oh my God. I need help
The dilemma, and venting...I think I’m wrong for it?...
35 & Over Community / by StrugglingFemale
Last post
 March 14th, 2023
...See more I have my own struggles emotional, mentally, on top of financial, but I work hard to stay on a positive light and pull myself together everyday, all on my own too. Now I have a sibling in a marital crisis, doesn’t seem they(sibling) want to get out of emotional rut, stays negative, in a I can’t mode, doesn’t seem like their kids are of any real motivation. The constant phone calls just to hear the same story running over and over and over (just over 2 month period now), keeps chasing the same thing over and over, keeps asking for a what to do. But yet doesn’t take advice or point of views well, disregards, and keeps staying in their emotional web, and wants to keep me on texts or phone calls all day and all night. gets way ahead in the future, mind runs wild.but I don't have the answers or their fix, which I feel they keep pushing for me to have. Now wants me and family to go to visit for vacation days, cause she needs family, but is weird, and feels like they will be putting us in such awkward, and twisted situation. (plus I have my financial struggles can't afford that) Or they will come down to visit, which makes me feel the same way, putting my family in our own home in the middle of their very intense distress. I have been there before they grab on and tie you down to their needs. Very needy, intense, major drama. And interrupts my entire life, and my family’s. they say they are there for me but are never there when I'm in need, they act the same as I have described above...with my problems, if I call I don't need all that, I just need an ear. Now I just avoid them cause I really know they are not there like I need. So this is driving me crazy, feel like I need therapy just cause of their situation. I don't know what to do. I dread the phone calls, and dread the thought of physically seen them, cause I know it going to turn into a ugly emotional circus from their part, and having to bow down to their needs. And will they want to leave after they are here?!!? (oh no) I have enough with my own struggles, ad all the things I have to do. To have this, makes me want to pull my hair out. And they don't hear reason or respect boundaries they can’t or down want to. 🤷‍♀️ Now am I wrong for feeling this way, I struggle too, and maybe I should understand... But it's too much to handle now, and knowing that I will never really will be able to count on them been there for me, makes it hard too. Am I wrong for this, for venting about someone that is struggling in their way too? For wishing for them to let me have some peace... For wishing for them to let me be, to not push visiting?? Am I wrong?
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