Loneliness and Human Contact
Hi,
I'm struggling very much right now. I've been divorced for over 6 years now and trying to get myself to a better place. I have felt so alone for quite a while now. I can be in a room with some friends and feel totally empty. It's been a long road and I'm tired of doing it alone.
Other than my work and hugs and play time from my kids, I haven't had any kind od human contact in about 5 years. It's so draining just wanting some one to just hold your hand for a minute. I know most of it is my fault. I'm not that good looking and I have trust issues. I was so hurt that I don't even know how to proceed. I had a hard enough time trying to date before I was.married and now it seems impossible. I'm so messed up right now that it makes me feel depressed bc I can't or don't know how to move forward.
Anyways thanks for listening
@Hawkeye61
its gonna be fine. So be hopeful and cheerful always.
@Hawkeye61
Going through same kind of thing but no kids so feel a fear of being too old for anything.
I am not very good looking either and am trying to figure out a one year plan to feel better.
Any attempts at making friends has gone horribly wrong so lately I feel I'll keep to myself.
So instead I'm going a writing group and peer support group for my social aspect now.
Everyone there is older than me and I don't feel great there but it's better than nothing.
Focusing on doing a bit better than the day before and managing grief and loss is hard.
I've lost a lot lately and have more tough times coming up so it's hard to stay positive.
Some days I can't even get the dishes and laundry done. It still feels so chaotic and impossible.
Anyway just wanted to say you're not alone and to keep going. Try do more daily.
@Dallady
Great advice. Glad you are getting out and doing more. I hope it is helping. You never know where you are going to run into your next friend, lover, spouse??
I wish you lots of continued success!!
Be well!
M
@purpleBeach6190
It was my pleasure to share and be a part of this forum post π π π
And yes; never know what's around the corner...appreciate the reminder π ππΌ β₯οΈ
Have you seen the movie: Stutz on Netflix???
It really has been working for me.
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@Hawkeye61
Hey there π π
I can relate to this in some ways. Also divorced and a parent, also single and confronting mental health issues.
Having the love of kiddos is incredible and work friends or coworkers can be great, but it's different than having an adult friend. A good companion.
Real conversations, phone calls, etc. It's certainly can be challenging meeting people these days and going outside of our comfort zone & working with mental health that may make it tough to interact.
Maybe we start with steps, small steps like this. Being here and interacting, sharing and allowing ourselves to be supported, and take the rest one day at a time.
Perhaps looking for local groups to join or events is a good way to meet people, too?
And I am totally willing to be a friend and talk with you here!!
Hugss to you if welcomed friend. You're not alone <3
@NewHorizon5544
@Hawkeye61
I think you both should talk.
Hi NewHorizon5544
I would so be willing to have someone to talk with. If you know how to setup a chat I would love to chat some
Thank You
@Hawkeye61
Hope you're well right now !<3 Of course, we should able to keep chatting here : ) We aren't able to one to one message, but I am totally up for talking here and lending an ear and being a friend.
Welcome to 7Cups, @Hawkeye61. This place is full of people with situations like yours...& unlike yours.
Since we are often our own worst critics, I'm not about to take your word that you're "not that good looking". I'm sure you're more beautiful or handsome than you think you are.
No doubt divorce imposes a painful adjustment but six years...that's a long time. It sounds like you need someone to talk to. Have you visited any of the chat rooms yet? We have one called the Sharing Circle...it's the only one I go to & it's always been a wonderfully kind place.
I would really love to help you in anyway i can because this is what killed my best friend too she died of depression and lack of contact because we were too far apart and she got so tired of the technology and phones all over...you can Message me we can work it out i guess
@Hawkeye61 I am so sorry you're going through this and I'm so sorry you have not had human contact for so long. I understand that it's making you feel lonely? Is there anything I can do to help you I'm an active listener but I approach things differently I think it's because I was born disabled. I was born with cerebral palsy. Sometimes when you get so down you don't feel like there is a way out. That's how I felt when my dad passed away this year it will be five years.
@Hawkeye61
Hello:
I have been alone for longer than I care to admit. I have no kids - or even pets.
The only human interaction I have is at work, but that is sporadic and obviously not the same as having a companion.
I am not going to win any beauty contests. I am also horribly introverted and depressed. Add to that the fact that I have health issues.
Although my last girlfriend said this in anger, it appears she was correct when she said I would end up a recluse...
@UberRuminator I'm very sorry that you were told this it is not fair. We all deserve to have someone to talk to it's important. We have a lot of group support rooms here on 7 cups if you guys want to communicate. There is one called general support where you can find common ground or I could help you if you need it one on one. Just let me know I'm here for you.
@Hawkeye61
Hey love, don't say it's your fault because I know you're doing the best you can with everything on your plate. Dating life can be so hard and I understand why you're feeling like this. Sometimes you'll meet someone when you least expect it, and I hope you get to feel love soon because you deserve it <3 Keep your head up
@Hawkeye61
I was so hurt that I don't even know how to proceed.
This was what stuck out to me. Your post sounds incredibly painful and heavy... I just want to acknowledge that first. I'm think it's good that you've shared and are reaching out in this capacity. Anyway, that phrase stood out to me because I wonder if that's where the start is... really figuring out that hurt and somehow healing from it. I don't know what that might look like for you.. I'm struggling with the same thing myself...
I wonder sometimes-- what small changes/risks do you have to take in order to yield a different result? We get stuck in the same thinking patterns day after day... what will it take to develop get a new thought that might result in a different outcome... My thought is that maybe moving forward is really just choosing a new thought/action..
Of course these are just musings, not solutions. Your situation is somewhat similar to mine. I'm thinking I need to make small changes...
take care of yourself/brain/etc.
π₯°
