feeling lost
im feeing so lost in every part of life. i dont know what i want or who i am. im 24, and ik thats normal to some extend. But others struggle with that from time to time but have some hobbies or jobs or a nice family that helps them. but i feel like this all the time. i question myself and feel insecure for everything i do.
How do i get out of that? how do i know what i want (at least a direction, also in little things) and then how to do things? i feel like i missed out in some life lessons others got. i have no idea how things work, like socally or jobwise etc.
i hate that im like this and i know that doing nothing is mostly worse then triyling and maybe failing, but i wouldnt even know what i wanna try. i just dont know what to do.... Maybe someone can relate??
@Keineahnung123
Hello! I'm 27 and I relate. I spent all of my early 20's seeking because I was so lost and hollow 22-23.
There are so many things I can say that helped me, but I want to help you. So there's only a few things you should know.
- A big reason why we feel lost or "lame" is because we want to experience more of the world but we haven't yet (for whatever reason).
- Follow your joy, your contentment, your bliss, and your harmony. These will lead you to intuitively understand your true purpose, true strength, true weakness, etc.
- Trust your internal experience and your journey a lot. You're the one in control of your life. No one else can pull you up except you.
- A lil esoteric but it's super valid no matter where you sit in spirituality: Your mind is not ultimately you. Think about it, your mind is the one telling you these things about yourself. At some point in life, you did not care about this stuff. There is a part of you that is deeper than the mind. So seek beyond the mind. And seek these questions from a place beyond the mind
Private message me if you want to talk more in depth because I lived these same self-doubts.
@MovementBetterThanStagnation Thanks for answering, and thanks for your input, these are good points i really need to be more aware of. expecially the first point i think is soo true. I havent much experience in life yet. (which makes me a little angry at myself cause i feel like at 24 i should have much more experience and at least tried more, know more, but i know beating myself up isnt helpful either so i at least try not to jugde myself too much) And i know that this is reinforcing my insecurities. I want to trust myself, htat if i try and succeed i "prove" to myself that im capable ob things and will get more confident. But ill somehow need to get to that point.
What helped you in particular to get over that stage? what changed? (I cant see how i can private message you so im just answering here)
@Keineahnung123
I also don't know how to private message on this platform. If there's a method, please tell us moderators or other community members! 😂
Anyway, I'll share some things that I hope will help!
- Trust me, there is nothing to be ashamed of with time or space or affluence. In a way, we're the only ones doing that to ourselves.
- This is the most important thing I have learned. The mind is not me. So the little voice telling me to sleep in more is just the mind. The mind will say literally anything--make any excuse, justify anything--to make us lean back into what's safe, comfortable, and familiar. The mind can't know what we actually want and what is fulfilling. It just understands the feedback of "not too much energy or stress if I never push myself so I don't want to push myself."
- Confidence will never come before we do the thing(s), it comes after. So ultimately, we need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. And think about it another way too, everyone working out or putting in professional work or working on something creatively, they have to push past resistance to do it.
- Also very important to me right now, is to give myself the grace. "Give grace to keep the pace" is what I've been telling myself for the past week. Because judgement, self-criticism, and should's for anything doesn't really let us tap in on whatever we're doing. And if we're not going in like this, it's much harder to learn. Try to not let the mind be too active unless you need it. There's a time for analyzing the path forward and there's a time for execution. Experiment with this knowledge.
- HUGE thing that's helped me on a practical level--idk if it'll help you--is I'll write down like 4 phrases or things to remember that are big in leveling up. I'll write it down on my phone or somewhere I'll see it almost every day. And I'll leave those 4 messages there until those messages do not apply to the present moment anymore--maybe I have a new way to say this or maybe I've internalized this message and leveled up). That's just so I don't take ALL the information I've acquired and try to apply it all at once. That's a recipe for burnout and this relates to my grace/non-judgement thing I mentioned above.
Last thing I'll say because I did share a lot. I did suffer a lot and question a lot. I spent years of my time and focus looking inward on this and questioning the similarity of the mind with my best friend. We've found that everyone has things that work best for them and advice that they need to hear. And only they can get to that. But not everyone gets to that because navigating your mind is really hard.
We made an app that makes this process intuitive, easy, accessible, and low-key fun. It's called 'Talk to Lotus'.
@Keineahnung123 Hi, I think maybe you could try connect with people more in the reality, when people around you are doing things, join them no matter what they are doing. Talk with them about why they wanna do that and record your feelings and thought when you're in it. When you find something fun, dig into it. I'm 20 and I used to feel lost until I did so. Hope it helps!
@Keineahnung123 so sorry you feel that way. It’s absolutely normal. Your message could have been written by me word by word. The only thing I think I can advise you is to write down everything you want to change, for example “having a job” even if you don’t know what or how, because same, I don’t know either. But at least having those things written down helps you see what you want and then you can ask for help to make a plan for each one of the things you want to change in your life. I don’t know who made us believe we can know things without learning them or that we have to do it all by ourselves but we don’t. You can ask for help and you have amazing things within yourself, that’s not a question. Also you are not your feeling of “don’t know what to do”, you have and are wayyy more than that. I hope that knowing you’re not alone in that feeling helped you as much as knowing about you helped me. Wishing you a good day
@nitaroxo it feels good to be understood, thank you. Although im sorry you feel the same. I will definetly try to make a list, maybe it could help a little bit to sort my thoughts and a little bit more what i want. And hey, maybe someday we can look at the list and see what we have accomplished :)
for sure! Thank you :) best of lucks for us eheh
Hii
I hope you have progressed from the day when you wrote the post and doing better. Even if not it's okay don't be stressed about it.
Just try removing focus from wanting those answers to what you can do now you will eventually start getting answers without even giving them time.
@searchingSoul01 Hi, nice of you to check in :)
To be honest, i havent really improved, still lost af... but i am starting to accept it, its okay to feel lost and to an extend its (hopefully) normal, so i keep reminding myself that everyone is different.
But also im knida getting used to being how i am (whaterver this is) and lack motivation to do something... and i think i should feel bad about that :/ i guess its okay to feel lost or whatever, if youre at least trying... but idk if im really trying (hard enough) tbh...
so yeah... but thanks for the message and putting no pressure:)
