Let's discuss issues

@pandanfe

Give us an example? :)

@jesusredeemedme2425

It could be anything, LITERALLY ANYTHING about the issues that you facing or would like to discuss.

Some examples include wanting to talk how people make compromises after marriage, or not getting perfect partner to marry, some people have concern that their friends with whom they used to hang out are far more successful life and they've not even started building career, or things like managing life after the first child, getting adjusted to adulthood, parenting, etc... 

@pandanfe That is a vast topic and I like the examples that you provided :). I think living alone could be one of the issues. Though it depends on the circumstances as some people do everything in their power to get out and have a place of their own which sure is great and something to be proud of but for some it can be a nightmare. To figure out just about everything on your own, to know that nothing will get done until you do something and ofcourse figuring out financial stuff. And if it's a whole new city/country then that's like the boss level ^^'

@BlueDarkAurora

@pandanfe haha ^^ will do :) Also best of luck for your new adventure!

@BlueDarkAurora

Thank you and likewise 😊

FREEDOM: I guess after disconnecting (living in other place) from parents, there is soooooooooo much space for freedom, like you don't have to ask if you want anything, you just do what you want to do (if applicable). Some of us may handle this independency in a good manner while some of us just mess the things. I would really appreciate you guy's personal experience about the matter. 

@pandanfe thats an interesting topic! freedom can be great, but for me it also felt quite overwhelming which makes it very difficult to decide what to do cause there are too many opportunities

@Keineahnung123

yes, i agree. living alone can feel overwhelming and there're lots of things that we must look for at our own. How did you cope up with all these stuffs at your own?

@pandanfe I've never lived completely alone, but in a shared home, in another city. I think that was way easier cause the flat was already complete, cause there were peolple living there already. so i didnt have to furnish my apartment for example. But having to cook everyday and keep everything clean can be a lot at times. But there it helped th have roommates to share these struggles with. 

But i mostly struggled with the new freedom to do anything or nothing. like nobody cares or notices (if roommates are away. this makes it easy to let oneself go more easily. it helps to try to see more people, but as an introvert its just too easy to hide in  your comfort zone.. 

@Keineahnung123

Agreed, having even a bit of support at this time is really soothing. And we're to make wise decision ourselves for no one really cares. Even if we make some mistakes, we learn from it and grow up more as a beautiful human 😊

@pandanfe

there are a few topics that i thing could be interesting:

•  having more and more different lives than your friends (or other people your age) e.g.: some are working, some are still figuring out what they want, some start having kids, some are partying every weekend. Also having a very different amoung of money among friends)                      those things can influence a friendgroup a lot or drive people apart that once were very close, and its hard to comprehend these differences and not compare yourselve to others, or feel less worthy cause your not as far as others

• since im more interested in politics, how do you deal with all the injustices in the word? poverty, racism, dictators, war.. theres so much going on it can be overwhelming. But also loval politics can be frustrating
• in general how to stop comparing yourselve to others

@Keineahnung123

We're social animal and we are fond of people (mostly). So it is obvious that we want to be around people we loved. could be childhood friends or classmates that we used to hang out with. But with time, things differ for everyone. if someone's ahead of us (someone we started the race together with), it is our natural tendency that we compare ourselves. This could make us feel overwhelmed. At times, we may feel like we're not worthy enough and feel empty inside. I've faced this issue myself. And the only way I coped up with this was by letting myself know that it doesn't matter at the end. 

Do you know about nihilism? I'm not nihilist but I still like the concept of nihilism. Nothing mattered before we were born and nothing will matter after we die. What matters is we live our life fully and freely. 

This is one of the best videos i've found on Nihilism. Its really soothing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOvyn72x6kQ 

That was my personal experience, is there any specific technique that you're familiar regarding not comparing ourselves to others?

@pandanfe

Thats a really interesting concept, i will look into it, thanks! I think in some ways i already kinda use this concept sometimes. If theres something that drags me down, but i dont want it to i say to myself "it is what it is" and it actually kinda helps to accept things. Also thinking about it, worrying or feeling bad about thing dont help me so its "unnecessary", so i try to rationalize it away in some way. I guess thats an okay way to cope with it, at least it helps in some situations. But its defintely not perfect. it sometimes leads me to feeling nothing/empty. also im kinda accepting how i am a little too much? like i accapt that i am lazy sometimes or have trouble at taking initiative/ moving forward.. So i guess id have to find a good middle ground, but thats a journey..

@Keineahnung123

No mechanism is ever perfect. It just with time we discover many stuffs and figure out what strategy works at that certain situation. and we're not perfect too. we've lots of flaws and accepting those flaws doesn't necessarily mean we're looking any low of ourselves. it's a journey of years and years and yet we die with imperfection. So i believe its better to focus on living the fuller life than a perfect ones. 

@pandanfe

- Financial Stress: Managing expenses, debt, saving for the future, and dealing with unexpected costs.

- Work-Related Stress: Job pressure, work-life balance, career advancement, job security, and workplace relationships.

- Relationships: Maintaining healthy relationships with family, friends, and partners; dealing with conflicts; and managing responsibilities in relationships.

- Health Issues: Physical health problems, managing chronic conditions, mental health issues, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

- Parenting Challenges: Raising children, balancing work and family life, and dealing with children's behavioral issues.

- Aging Concerns: Coping with aging parents, planning for retirement, and dealing with one's own aging process.

- Social Isolation: Feeling disconnected from others, loneliness, and difficulty forming new friendships or maintaining existing ones.

- Personal Development: Finding time for hobbies, personal growth, education, and self-improvement.

- Time Management: Balancing various responsibilities, managing time effectively, and dealing with procrastination.

- Life Transitions: Handling major life changes like marriage, divorce, relocation, or loss of loved ones.

@LittleEggHarbor

Thank you for sharing your insights on these matters. That's a lot to look after. It's like pressure is building on all parts of the body. It looks like there's no way out of it. Ofc, there maybe ways to figure things and ease the life but i guess it will take a lot of used to before we finally figure out what will work better for us. 

Any tips (from your experience) that you would like to share to ease the adult life?

past sexual abuse interefering with present life

@powerfulHuman2386

That's a really sensitive issue. I understand that traumatic experience can have long lasting effects. It can also cause depression, anxiety, nightmares, trust issues, confidence problems, health issues and more. Being in a relationship can be really challenging for both the victim and the partner. It is upsetting to think about but it is equally important to bring awareness about it. 

And i'm hoping that you're not the victim of sexual abuse. If you want to talk about this or need support, we're here for you or anyone else going through the same trauma 💛