Me and my boyfriend discussed having children but then decided to wait 6 months. As we are in our late thirties I am desperate to try now but I also want him to feel ready. How do I know he is ready?

Be open and honest with your boyfriend that you're ready to start having children. You can ask him how he feels towards trying for a baby, or ask about children in general. Trust and communication is important in relationships, so don't feel like you have to tiptoe around what you want to discuss, he'll appreciate your honesty and the two of you can chat about your future plans without feeling the need for secrets or throwing hints at each other because that way you might run the risk of misunderstanding or getting the wrong idea. Just be honest about how you feel.

Being a parent is about growing, learning and guiding a child in their growth and learning. It may sound cliché but no one is truly ready. Some are confident with the idea of becoming a mother or father but that does not mean ready. I have raised 8 children and it is by far the most challenging path in life. No one can possibly predict what the future holds. It offers the highest potential for personal growth, joy, laughter as well as deep sadness and frustration. Creating a healthy family life takes purpose and dedication. We will never be perfect parents and all parents feel inadequate at times no matter their age, maturity level or financial situation. The question to ask is if (together) you are willing to take on a commitment. In my opinion, it is always worth your time and money to visit a professional MFT on this very topic. They have insight that would be valuable to you at this time in your life.

You will have a better sense that he is on the path to being ready when he is your husband not just your boyfriend. Having children is a lifetime commitment, Children need to be born into a forever family where the mother and the father are committed to each other and to the children. If both of you are not committed to working through all the problems that you will have (and you will have problems and disagreements), then please don’t have children. This is less about him being ready is more about you both being ready to take on a lifetime commitment of each other and the children.

You talk to him. Communication is key in any relationship, whether it be about the subject of kids, boundaries, or even just petty date related topics. You want to make your feelings clear, and you also want to make him feel like he can say exactly how he feels without pressure. Reassure him that you will love him no matter what, but let it be known that you are ready for that next step. Use 'I Statements' when explaining how you feel. No one in this discussion should feel at blame or criticism because of how they feel or what choices they make. Be supportive, be compassionate, be loving, and most of all- be honest.