Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?

Try to reframe your question. Do you have other relationships than bad one? If yes, ask yourself why they were different. If no, your comapison is natural. You are trying to evolve in your personal life and that's the reason of comparison. Try to ask your partner, especially ex-one, why they were bad. Believe, you will discover many insights for improvement of your personal life. We are all carrying our bad experience from the childhood to late adult ages just for sake of not changing any of our traditional bahavior. Any step aside is "gangerous" just because we haven't ever try to do so.

In my experience, it's easier to remember the bad over the good. It can be scary to allow your hopes to get up when you've already experienced something bad from someone else- especially since bad relationships take such a toll on us because of the level of trust we are apt to give our partners. When those we loved/ cared for betray our trust- whether through cheating, abuse, or general toxicity- it tends to follow us, almost like a warning. I think the important thing is to create a positive distinction in your mind and see your partner for who they are vs what their worst potential is.

The reason that you will compare everyone to your bad relationship is because these negative experience in our lives have some much power and influence. And these time provoke strong emotions that seem too linger. One tip of advice I have learn with moving on from bad relationship is allowing yourself time to recover before entering into another relationship and to progress these feelings. What did I do wrong? this was a common question that I have asked myself and hear from friend regardless of gender. We have to allow ourselves to cope and be honest and open.

Perhaps you fear the same thing would happen to you so you try to avoid everything that is similar with your bad relationship in order to protect yourself from getting hurt again. I wouldn't know the exact situation but maybe there's also something you regret or don't understand that is very hard to let go and move on from. It hurts to look back on traumatic incidences on our life but I think it would help if you reflect on what happened in order to help you move on. After all you can't be fully happy with a new relationship if you don't learn from your past and see it in a new light

Everyone has had bad relationships and when things fall out i see everyone as a potential candidate to hurt me. its a defense mechanism. we cant help but feel this way because at some point we believe anyone is capable of hurting us just like we were in the past. when this happens we should realize that people are different so are situations,so we should recall past hurts but not use them as a basics for future interactions with others in order to have healthy relationships. i have known this and it has really helped me and of course all those breakup and empathy courses!

It is an act of self defense mechanism. A benchmark has been set, like, person with quality 1,2,3 will give feelings that would not be good. So, I wont go to another person with quality 1,2,3, because it is bad for me. So before falling into relationship of any other kind, one is required to compare every new person one meets, to keep oneself safe. This is called, learning skills for self defense and smooth survival than falling down again with same nuisance. So, comparing is totally fine. It is a self care mechanism. You may feel overdoing comparison because you may have recently experienced bad relationship.

Bad relationships leave nasty mental scars that take a long time to heal. Because of this, we naturally go into comparison mode when looking at potential partners, because we fear repeating the same process as before. Subconsciously, it's almost like we are expecting each person to be a failure because they may have a similar personality feature, that triggers one of the mental scars that causes us to build those defensive walls and push that person away. We keep on repeating the same process. Sometimes though, there isn't actually a genuine indicator that causes that trigger, but it still sets off the comparison and makes relationships quite difficult.

I do this as well even now in my new relationship, and it's not because I want to but I do it to be cautious and to also appreciate him for being different from my bad relationships. Our brain is designed to look for patterns from good and bad experiences so we can get out of situations. This is why we have gut feelings. So when we go into a relationship we analyze it because we want to make sure we don't go through that horrible thing again. It may also be all you know! For me I have never had a healthy relationship (except hopefully this one because that is what it seems like so far) so I compare to my bad relationships a lot because I have never experienced anything outside those toxic and abusive relationships therefore I'm almost out of my realm

I think you expected too much from your partner and your partner did not do so. It happens in everyone's life, what we gave don't get the same, also we always regret what we have chosen and always want to get the path that is not taken earlier. Please read THE ROAD NOT TAKEN and u will understand. What do we do, we just put our self in others relationship or we compare a person with whom we felt bad and our mind did not accept that person. What is needed to do? We have to b positive and calm while introducing with a new person, every fingers are not , never be same.

I compare everyone to my bad relationships because I don’t want to get hurt again. I am so afraid to get crushed into a million pieces I have to not pick the people I can build with so I minimize my chances of being hurt again. Being hurt by someone you love is the worst. It tore me down to my bones and took everything from me. It took my love away for everything. I didn’t want to live anymore and I finally started to realize this isn’t how I want to be and I built myself up, I have a relationship with myself. I now trust myself and my judgements on others because I don’t want them to tear down what took me so long to build.