why do I always feel embarassed to cry in front of people?

Depending on what culture you grew up in, and how you were raised, you might have been taught that crying or showing emotions such as grief, frustration, or unhappiness are better done in private. Several factors including your parents' response to your tears and your friends growing up might also have contributed to you feeling embarrassed. However, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Crying is a natural, important part of expressing and feeling your emotions, and anyone who you might feel embarrassed of seeing you cry might also have cried at similar emotions. Are there any friends or family in your life who would support you expressing your sadness? If so, you could ask them how they feel when people cry in front of them. For myself, I have always found the ability to cry in front of people to be a sign of strength. A lot of people think it's easier to hide their emotions and appear stoic, but it takes a lot of strength to be able to be vulnerable and show your true emotions to the people that care about you. If you find yourself crying in front of friends or strangers, think of how you would react if one of them cried in front of you. Would you feel scorn? Or would you feel compassion and empathy for them, having been in their shoes? Your answer could be the same answer as the people who have witnessed you cry. It's alright to have emotions, and to express them with those you care about, you will be stronger and more capable for it, and might even help others feel safe to express them as well.