I can't get angry at the people I care about, is there something wrong with me?
226 Answers
Moderated by Joe Nelson, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Doctor of Social Work
Updated: May 1, 2022
Numinox
on
Jul 13, 2018
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Absolutely not. This it might be difficult because of the ties you may hold but if you genuinely can’t get angry against a close friend or family member it is 100% A-ok!
Anonymous
on
Jul 13, 2018
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You need to set boundary in your anger. It can help you to avoid something you dont like, something you dont want to happen with you. Showing anger is a skill to acknowledge people that you wont accept such behavior.
Anonymous
on
Aug 12, 2018
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Definitely not! We all have people we care about and can relate to this when it comes to that specific someone. It's completely normal to feel this way. It's just our protective instincts working, where we are aware that things we say or do can affect others and we wouldn't want someone we care about feeling uncomfortable or somewhat sad. Maybe it's just you being very considerate of the people you care about's feelings and that's totally fine!
Anonymous
on
Aug 15, 2018
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No, it is completely normal to care for the ones you love in such a manner. Allowing yourself the freedom to say no to others is healthy, although progress may seem slow, it is important to stand up for yourself.
LovelyNebula
on
Aug 15, 2018
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No there is nothing wrong with you! You may be frustrated with other situations taking it out on the people you care about not meaning too. Tell your friends you do not mean to and that you care, and that there may be stuff going on which could be affecting your mood.
Zildjianknyc
on
Aug 22, 2018
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It is not imperative that you are able to be angry with people that you care about. However, it is important that you can maintain healthy boundaries with people in your life. When you are able to maintain healthy boundaries with people in your life, it can help minimize the situations in which you would want to be angry with someone.
Avoiding the cause for anger in the first place can be far more satisfying and rewarding than developing an ability to be angry. If you are successful, you can model this behavior for others and help bring down anger and anxiety for you and your loved ones.
vanillawest88
on
Sep 6, 2018
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We are all human and have emotions. Anger happens to be one of them. You will normally feel better, and relieved even. Don't be ashamed of expressing a feeling that comes to all humans naturally. We have all buttons, and levels where we can become mad. it is not a given, to be happy all the time. It's even unrealistic to think you will not get mad at people you care about. I n my opinion, the people we care about know how to make us angry the most. They know you so well, so they know your buttons, and levels.
Sunset316
on
Sep 16, 2018
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You see, you should be blessed to have that quality within you. People around the world struggle to have something like that. Whenever some people get angry, they blow up instantly to whoever's close and in this case, it would most likely be family or friends. A few hours later, all that remains is regret. But emotional pain can't be washed away with simple 'sorry' or an apology. So, no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Getting angry at the ones you care about will only result in resentment and regret for yourself.
Kennajunespoon
on
Sep 20, 2018
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I can assure there there nothing wrong with not getting angry or upset at the people we care for, that is your ability to be compassionate, we are all human and we all feel it. It’s a great characteristic to have! But know that it is also okay for us to feel angry at times and even feel anger and frustration towards the people that we love and care for. It doesn’t make you a bad person at all, it’s a normal human emotion to feel and it gets to the best of people. I hope that this helps!
Anonymous
on
Oct 4, 2018
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When people have problems getting mad at the people they care about there can be many reasons for this. One reason can be that they are afraid to start conflict between them and that person. They might be afraid with how that other person might take the anger. Another reason people might avoid getting mad at people they care about is that it might cause a bigger conflict than they wanted. In that case avoiding a conflict might seem like the better route because they want to remain civil with the person rather tell them how they feel.
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