How do I know if I'm overreacting?

if you are overreacting you will start to think about everything in much more detail and pick at things to get angry about or get happy about

To know if you are overreacting if first you regret things you say in the heat of emotion ,lash out at loved ones, have to apologize to others for your actions or words, feel surprised at your seemingly uncontrollable reactions, assume the worst about people and situations and withdraw when things get emotionally overwhelming

Sometimes you don't realize you are overreacting til it happens, then when you do realize what a fool you have been, you begin to wonder why you examine things a lil bit better.

What I do when I'm questioning whether or not I'm overreacting, is I wait to react until a later time. Before I react to something I'm feeling strongly about, I wait 5-10 minutes. If I feel the same way then, then I'm not overreacting.

One thing that helps me is to think of how other people generally react in similar situations and to make sure you got the full story before passing judgement. The other point to keep in mind is, is the relationship with the person abusive. In cases of abuse, it's not uncommon for abuse victims to feel like they're overreacting to everything so if this happens to you a lot with a specific person it might not be a bad idea to go through a checklist of symptoms you are in an abusive relationship (with a friend, parent or significant other). If it's a totally one off thing or you feel like you might over react a lot, proceed on to the other questions. Not that this only happens to people with mental illnesses, but I can only speak for myself. So when my mental illness was untreated I overreacted to just about everything. So for instance, my best friend used my expensive shampoo without asking. I felt really hurt by this because I am very particular about people touching my things, and my best friend knows this. Therefore I felt betrayed, basically, and all my emotions are dialed up to 11 because of my mood swings (thanks borderline). So my immediate reaction was to stop talking to her for the rest of the day. So it's really obvious to me now that this was an over reaction, but if you take it piece by piece: 1.) Do most people react to someone borrowing their things without asking by refusing to speak to them for an entire day? The answer would be no, unless you are including small children and I was in high school at the time -- in fact the fact that I can only think of small children doing this is a big red flag that this is an overreaction. 2.) Did I get the full story? No. Because I over reacted almost immediately after she confirmed that she had used it, I wasn't able to have a calm conversation with her about WHY she had used it. I just assumed that she had thought it was okay to borrow my things without asking and that she either didn't care that I would mind or didn't know me as well as I thought she did. In fact, I'm pretty sure I ignored her because I felt like she was ignoring me in a sense in that someone I felt so close to didn't know something that simple about me (like it came up a lot with other people and she was around to hear it so it felt like she was hardcore not paying attention to my feelings). In reality, after the fight cleared up I found out that she had used my shampoo only because hers was out, and didn't mention it because she figured I wouldn't notice such a small amount and that she was worried I would be mad at her for using it, which she was obviously not wrong about, but it also meant that the entire thing I was truly upset about, the idea that my best friend didn't know me all that well, was completely null and void, so it boiled back down to just someone using something without asking, and as I said, I over reacted. I also know that the person is not abusive based on the check list. In an abusive situation, it's common for people to seem to overreact to something small, when in reality there's another cause of them being upset. Like say your boyfriend forgets your anniversary one time and you start shouting at him, BUT your boyfriend also frequently puts you down by calling you ugly names or belittles you, then it might makes sense why you would over react to something small, because you already have a lot of negative feelings towards the person built up that you haven't expressed. TLDR; I would suggest writing down how you feel/felt and what kind of thoughts you had to explore why you felt that way as well as answering the questions of "do most people react this way?", "did I get the full story?", and "is this person abusive?"

Just imagine, would you want the other person to act the same way you are if roles were reversed? If then you feel like it's an over-reaction, then yes, you are.

You are in control of your own feelings, so you're the one who decides if a situation is bad enough to cry about it or not, for example. You shouldn't feel like you're overreacting just because someone else would react differently. Although sometimes maybe anxiety can lead you to exaggerate a little, you need to step out of that mindset and think clearly.

Before you speak on the problem consider a couple things first. Consider how severe the problem really is. Once you have that determined take a look at who is a part of the issue. Step into their shoes. Consider all sides of the story. Consider what they did and why. Do not compare this to what you would do. Look at why they did the thing they did. When you are done with that try expressing your feelings to the people involved. Use I feel messages and when they speak use active listening skills. Use a calm voice and don’t raise your voice or yell. Even if the other people are not calm try to remain calm.

Personally I think there is a very thin line between what's a normal reaction and an overreaction, and it is also socially constructed. But first thing first. it is important to remember that every emotion you feel is valid, even if they seem too intense, because they are basically the result of influences from both internal and external stimulus. Thus your reaction is valid too. Whether or not it's an overreaction, just depends on the social norm for behaviours in response to your experience. It is an overreaction if your response is overly severe for the situation. I've asked myself this question tonnes of times before too, especially in hindsight when my response feels silly and overdramatic (hindsight bias!). But remember this is a very fine and arbitrary line. What constitutes an overreaction for someone may well be within the normal reaction range for others. Don't be too hard on yourself and try not to beat yourself up over whatever that has happened.

Obviously, it's completely normal to be emotional sometimes. However, being overreactive can result in impulsive behaviour and hurting people you love. These are signs you may have an overreactive personality: If you never think before you speak. If you are not considering the perspective of others. If you make decisions too quickly. If you always regret what you said. If you often get upset and cry easily. If you get into many conflicts with others. If you always go over what you said in a situation. If some of these describe you then you might be overreactive. Next time you find yourself in a sticky situation ask yourself: What could be driving my reaction? Bad mood? Lack of sleep? What do I want to feel like? Relaxed? Then take the necessary steps to feel relaxed like getting enough sleep. Also, try to calmly discuss the issue with the other person without it getting heated.