My sexuality keeps fluctuating and I'm not sure I fit into one single box, how do I explain that to others when I don't know how to feel about it myself?
25 Answers
Moderated by Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor
Updated: Nov 2, 2020
mysteriousWillow50
on
Apr 11, 2015
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Simply that-- you're not sure where you sit on the spectrum because sexuality and gender aren't neat little boxes...it's a spectrum of what you are or can be. If someone inquires, you can simply say that you're figuring it out or questioning where you sit on the spectrum. --just an example-- (However; many of us humans are fluctuating when it comes to the spectrum because not everyone is 100% straight or 100% gay, etc. There are many that fall somewhere inbetween)
MonBon
on
May 2, 2015
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It's important to remember that sexuality is on a spectrum rather than fitting into specific boxes or labels. Your sexuality can fluctuate as you open yourself up and learn more about yourself. This is completely normal and okay. Sexuality is also fairly personal, so don't feel pressured to explain yourself or your sexuality to anyone.
politeFish31
on
Mar 1, 2016
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You don't have to be put in a box, sexuality is fluid, just look up the Kinsey Scale. Everybody can be a mix match of everything, but it doesn't mean you get around a lot, it just means that the next time you fall in love, it could be anyone. It just means you have a diversity of taste. Well done!
Georgia
on
Aug 15, 2017
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The great thing about Sexuality is that it's not purely black and white. It's grey, red, green, purple, and every other colour you can think of. If you feel your sexuality fluctuate, maybe that's just your Sexuality! And there's a great term for this when you need to explain it to other people; Queer, that awesome big Q at the end of LGBTQ+!
seventyninedays
on
Mar 29, 2016
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Just explain that you, yourself, are not too sure yet and that you'll be sure to let them know when you find out! Maybe even make it into a little joke to remove any stigma surrounding it. I've never really identified as anything myself, if I want to wear men's clothes - I will, if I want to see a girl - I will. Never label what you're doing just because someone else has.
saturnsaic4
on
May 1, 2017
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You can just say you're questioning, or that you don't really care about labels. Your sexuality is valid even if you don't fit in a certain label. There are a lot of different sexualities nowadays, so you could try to read about them and see if one fits, but again you don't have to necessarily fit in a box.
Anonymous
on
May 27, 2015
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There are many types of sexuality. It's a wide spectrum and some people fit directly into one while others may feel they differently. You don't necessarily have to label yourself anyway. If you know who you like then you don't have to justify. But some people classify themselves as more than one sexuality because they don't feel like it's a fixed preference.
GracefulDuck
on
Jun 30, 2015
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It's not your job to explain to others all about your sexuality, just live with it, and soon enough you'll find one that fits you
MaeveTheBrave
on
Jun 6, 2016
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It's not supposed to fit into a box! I know that's a hard concept to grasp, but sexuality is fluid and can't easily be explained or sorted into clear, distinct boxes. Everyone is a little bit different, with slightly different preferences, likes dislikes, etc.
Don't worry about explaining it to others yet. Once you figure it out for yourself, then the rest will come :)
KateIsabella
on
Jan 18, 2016
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There's a spectrum of sexualities - not just a preset few boxes that you have to fit into. If you don't match any labels, that's fine - you're not required to label yourself. Explain it to others like you said here - it's fluctuating
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