How can you tell if you are a boy or a girl, or something else entirely?

Your gender (boy/girl, male/female) is something you are born with, but your gender identity is what you identify as. So you cannot choose your gender (unless you have a sex chage operation), but you can choose what to identify as.

It's a really hard question to answer, in all honesty. There's no real definitive way to answer the question, other than what feels right for you. Everyone's different! I struggled with this for a long time, and it took a lot of patience and self-love to figure it out. Simply put, it's what you feel inside. For some people, they know all their lives and never question it. Other people might be transgender or agender or genderfluid or genderqueer or one of many other designations, and at the beginning of their journey they'll all know that in some way they feel different. If you do feel different from your peers, it's important to explore why that is. Is there anything you can do that makes you feel less different, or makes you feel more right? Allow yourself the freedom to explore those feelings. For most people, figuring out whether you're a boy or a girl isn't something they ever have to think about. So if you're having feelings that maybe, inside, you're a boy or a girl or something else entirely, that's actually a really good place to start. At the end of the day, only you can know in your heart who and what you are.

Gender is something that lies in your mind, and perhaps might not match up with your body. As a person who identifies as genderfluid, I know all too well how hard it is to be struggling with your gender identity. They don't teach you in school what to do or where to go when you don't fit in the gender binary, and for many children, myself included, we spend our childhoods thinking that something is wrong with us, that we are broken. Being genderfluid has always been particularly confusing for me, because one day I could be perfectly fine with the gender I was assigned at birth, and the next I could be in tears over having not been born the opposite gender. So it's been a tough hurdle to jump, especially since I had no idea what it was I was experiencing, let alone that there were others and even a NAME for what I was going through. As for how you can tell, I believe that everyone should spend some time examining their gender. I.e., do I identify as a boy because I was told I was a boy, or because I feel like a boy? Do things outside of your comfort, experiment with activities you were told aren't for your gender. As with anything in life, how can you truly know if you like something or not if you don't try it? It may come to pass that you were cisgendered (someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth), but you enjoy traditionally masculine things, or you identify as the opposite gender because you can't relate to the one you were assigned at all. You could discover that you don't relate to either the male or female gender and realize that you are agender, or like me, genderfluid. Gender is a complex, varied thing, and it may seem daunting to try and figure out, but once you do, you will be all the glader for having started. xx

You just have to listen to yourself and not pressurize yourself to know exactly how you identify right now. It's okay to not know or to be exploring. It's also okay to not fit into the tiny gender boxes that society has created. Maybe some days you feel masculine, maybe other days you feel feminine. That's okay. Maybe you feel extremely masculine all the time or extremely feminine all the time. That's also okay. Whatever makes you comfortable. Others can't answer this question for you because we don't know what you feel or what you think. It's about trusting yourself and listening to yourself.

Being a genderqueer person means sometimes you identify as a girl, sometimes as a boy, sometimes both at the same time, and other times something else entirely. You don't have to choose, which makes everything easier. You're free to be whoever you are at the moment, without having to stay in a little box. And I'll always be grateful to identify as genderqueer. That's who I am, and I'm okay with that.

Your gender is mostly, if not entirely, a psychological matter. It is your unique sense of self, how you feel, how you identify. It may be binary (think male or female) or nonbinary (somewhere in between, a mixture of both, or something else entirely). You can spend time reflecting on your gender identity, but there is more than one way to discover it, and no one can define it for you. It's a journey all your own! No need to rush. :)

Well what ever makes you most comfortable. If you feel more comfortable being a girl that's ok! If you feel more comfortable being a boy that's ok! If you feel comfortable being both that's ok! If you feel comfortable being neither that's ok! It really just is what makes you feel comfortable in your own skin.

Sometimes, people experiment. Sometimes, people *just know*. But ultimately- just spend time with yourself. Connect to your true core, your intuition, your spirit... and know that, you don't need a definite answer today or tomorrow. You can decide today, and again 5 years from now. Nothings set in stone. ♡

By living life, and trying not to be influenced by others. Maybe you know when you're 8, maybe you know when you're 18, and maybe you've figured it out when you're 40. Don't worry about it too much, and know that it's also normal to change how you feel about yourself. Change is a part of living.

Corny as it sounds, you and only you can be the judge of your own gender expression. We have been brought up and conditioned to think in binaries, and to accept the gender we have been assigned. If you feel comfortable with this label, that's great! If not, that's totally fine, too! Spend some time to really think about what makes you comfortable and what doesn't, and maybe do a little research. Talk to people you trust, or talk to a listener here at 7 Cups of Tea! Don't feel pressured to determine "what you are", and don't feel pressured to conform to any gender label. On the one hand, these labels can help you feel a sense of security in that you may feel that you have gained a greater sense of understanding and clarity, or you may find a safe community among people who identify the same way. However, labels can also be limiting, stressful, and ostracizing. So take your time to really understand yourself, and explore your own identity within and outside of these labels. Additionally, don't feel pressured to identify with any singular label permanently either - just because you identify a certain way at one point in time doesn't mean that you may identify differently at a different point in time. At the end of the day, find a way to be comfortable with yourself. You do you! It may not be an easy journey, but it is one that you owe to yourself.