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How can I tell my same-sex friends that I am gay/lesbian/bi without them thinking I like them?

Profile: Breathedani
Breathedani on Jan 30, 2015
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This can be really hard... When I came out to a friend this year I had a really hard time telling her cause I knew she was gonna think I liked her. That is literally the farthest thing from the truth! So when I came out to her I said something along the lines of "I just wanna be clear here that I don't like you. Gays are just like other people. If I was straight I wouldn't like everyone of our guy friends, therefore I don't like you." She took it very well and was glad I cleared that up! Take care and good luck!
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Profile: Emma5273
Emma5273 on May 6, 2015
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In my experience if one of my friends assumes I like them solely because I'm gay, that doesn't bode well for our friendship or them supporting me. You have to gauge the situation, I told one of my close friends she had an ugly nose before coming out to her, and sat down with another and talked to her about what it means to be gay, and who I was attracted to and had to reassure her multiple times I didn't like her, we're not friends today. You might lose some friends, but if it means being true to you thats more important.
Profile: kindWaterfall10
kindWaterfall10 on Oct 24, 2017
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Just let them know that they're like your siblings and that you're aware that they're not interested and would therefore not hit on them. You can also remind them that sexuality does not equal finding *everyone* of the same sex attractive, because like them, you have types. Good luck!!
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 13, 2015
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Its best to be up front and open to them about it and not cut comer's when talking. Friends will understand and will be willing to help you and support you better.
Profile: TheFluteCat101
TheFluteCat101 on May 18, 2016
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When I came out as bisexual, I actually waited until something of the topic came up. It may not work for you, but keeping it as casual as possible helps. If you seem to be tense, or overly, extremely nervous, that is when they might think you like them. In other circumstances, it could be better to say it to two people, or more if you need, to make it seem less of a personal thing said to them, but making it a personal part of you.
Profile: Allen39
Allen39 on May 4, 2015
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Well, you can try this one, which often works for me. Point at a random person of the gender they're attracted to. Say, "Do you like them?" Chances are, they'll say no. Why would they be attracted to every person of that gender? Once you put it in those terms, it's easier to understand for them.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Feb 16, 2016
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Just tell them! If they are so naïve that they immediately think you like them they are not worth spending time on. Be proud of who you are let no one judge you
Profile: Skessler1633
Skessler1633 on Apr 30, 2018
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It is a good idea to have this conversation in a private, safe place, where you feel comfortable having this conversation. Most people that you come out to that are same-sex will not think that you like them, and will most likely be supportive of you. The only time they would have reason to believe you like them is if either a.) you have told them explicitly that you like them, or b.) you have given them reason to believe so, such as ‘flirting’ with them. It is better not to mention anything about ‘liking’ the other person, so don’t say “I don’t have feelings for you.” Even if you do say something along those lines, it is best not to keep repeating what you have said, or they might start to think that you actually do like them.
Profile: BrittanyLove
BrittanyLove on May 29, 2015
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When you come out to them, let them know that you look at them as your best friends, and that they shouldn't act differently around you because you're gay/lesbian/bi. You'll always be the same person and friend that you were before you came out to them.
Profile: MonBon
MonBon on Apr 13, 2015
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That's less on you and more on them. You can try explaining afterward that you experience attraction to specific people of your gender just as they experience attraction to specific people of the opposite gender. Give an example of someone they don't experience attraction to even though their orientation would allow them to and they might get it. Good luck with everything!
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