Can someones romantic orientation and sexual orientation be very different (aromantic pansexual or asexual polyromantic) or do they have to go in hand (aromantic asexual, biromantic bisexual)?

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction don't always go hand in hand, you might be physically attracted to one gender and romantically attracted to a different gender.

Absolutely they can vary! There's no rulebook :) I notice that it's usually asexual people who have it vary, but it's not exclusive! I myself am panromantic asexual, but not everyone feels comfortable labeling. If you do, just be comfortable or find resources that help you get there. Attraction types are very complex so it would make sense that attraction itself is complex as well

They can definitely be different! Especially when dealing with the aro/ace spectrum, it's possible to have your romantic orientation not match up with your sexuality. Typically, they go 'in hand', as you put it, but it's not completely unusual for it to not match up entirely.

Yes, they can be very different. Romantic orientation and sexual orientation are two seperate terms exactly because they're two separate things. It's perfectly fine to want sex with people of one particular gender (eg. because they have the physical attributes for a certain desired sexual act), but wish to cuddle together on the couch while holding hands with people of another. It's possible to only want a sweet romance with candlelit dinners and kisses in the snow, but no sex at all, and it's possible to only crave wild sex yet never feel the desire for a fairytale marriage and a happily ever after. Having a certain sexual orientation neither determines nor invaliditates someone's romantic orientation.

In my opinion, there aren't any set rules a person in the LGBT+ community has to follow. Basically, do whatever makes you happy! A friend of mine is an ace bisexual, and another is asexual panromantic.

They can be very different. Many times they go hand in hand, as mine do, but other times they can be conflicting (homoromantic heterosexual). It may be difficult to cope with such attractions and difficult to be in a relationship, however you must define what you are comfortable with and if the other person cannot accept that, then that is their issue. Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are completely separate things in terms of who they are directed towards, and that is okay. It is completely normal to have a different romantic orientation and sexual orientation. I hope this helped!

One can be a romantic yet pansexual, or other combinations. Sexual means that they are attracted to that gender in a sexual way, such as the thought of intimacy and such. Romantic is when they are attracted in more of a romance way, thinking of more dating and non-intimate encounters. Hope this helped a bit, though it really only give a quick glimpse. Orientation is quite the confusing topic.

Yes, they can, and often are. Many are romantically attracted to one gender, as in "I could only be in a primary (household,) relationship with a man, but, while I am attracted to men sexually, I am also very attracted to women, and vice versa. They don't need to match up at all. Of course, poly relationships don't necessarily involve romance or sex. No one person can possibly meet ALL of the needs of another, although, societal norms would have us believe that they SHOULD. It's when these needs are out of sync, and we try to force them because of our conditioning, that stress occurs, which can lead to actual physical illness. Sex Coach Reid Mihalko says it in a way that makes total sense to me: "Date your species!" And sometimes, in poly relationships, the needs that need to be met aren't romantic or sexual at all. Perhaps your romantic partner(s) are not interested in politics and you are. And you need someone in your life with whom you can discuss politics, or share recipes with, or attend Broadway shows with. Then you need to seek out someone who can meet those needs, or be unhappy as you suppress your needs. And that is never a good thing.