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Do I have the right to be mourning a friend for longer than a year when someone closer to them is already doing much better? I feel like I don't have the right.

Profile: PrincessDove13
PrincessDove13 on Jan 4, 2017
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Of course! :) Even if it has been 5 years, that is still okay. It is very hard to get over losing loved ones, both friends and family, even pets. Some people may recover faster, but others take more time.
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Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jan 5, 2017
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You definitely have the right. People react differently to circumstances. Whether that's a loss of friend or some other situation that may provoke negative feelings. It isn't abnormal nor wrong of you. Hopefully you can find ways to cope, despite the amount of hurt. Time heals best, but also trying to live your life again helps (distracting yourself from the memory of them, finding meaningful things in current life etc.).
Profile: struggler64
struggler64 on Jan 6, 2017
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You feel what you feel. There's no right or wrong, no rights in the whole grief thing. No use comparing yourself to anyone else. The person who seems to be doing much better may have different coping mechanisms than you do (not better, just different). A lot depends on the way you cope with life in general, how much loss and grief you have had recently and over time, etc. There are so many variables. You have the right to grieve your friend as long as you need to. When you are done, you will know, because the loss won't dominate your thoughts, and you won't feel sad as much. Just give yourself the space and the right to grieve freely without a timetable. Be kind to you!
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jan 7, 2017
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Of course you have the right to. You always have a right to your feelings, especially in times of grief. There are no rules in grief and everyone handles it differently and recovers at different paces. You and this other person are different people, thus, you handle grief differently. That's okay. Neither of you are doing it wrong. It doesn't matter if this other person was "closer to them." You lost someone you care about. That's hard. Let your feelings be what they are, and don't worry whether they are right or wrong. It's okay to feel however you feel about this.
Profile: blindBeauty26
blindBeauty26 on Jan 10, 2017
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Of course you have the right to mourn for a friend! Everyone mourns differently. You may think that this is wrong or weird but it's completely normal. While the other person may mourn faster and easier, it doesn't mean that they are better than you or that your way of grief is wrong. Plus, you never know, that other person may be hurting more than you realize. Just take your time and grieve in whatever way is most comfortable to you. Maybe you could talk to the other person and ask them what they have been doing to stay positive! I hope this helps!
Profile: anaundertea
anaundertea on Jan 10, 2017
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Hello, I'm actually surprised by your question. No one, not even you, can tell if you have the right to mourn something or not. Mourning is not something to measure nor judge in any way. If you need to mourn something or someone, you are 100% allowed to do so as long as you feel like it. It is an emotion that can not be suppressed when we want, mourning is a deep pain that needs time and requires healing. We all have different ways to mourn someone or something, just like we all have a different way to cope with things in life. If that other person is okay today, good for them, that's amazing, but it doesn't mean that you have to undervalue your emotions and force yourself to move on from the pain when it's not ready to leave just yet. I can not explain the whole process of it here, it would be too long. But if you ever feel the need to talk about it, please come to me or find a listener who could help you out. You have to realise that your health can not be undervalued so you could be like someone else. It's good that other people are healed from that difficult loss but you, as a unique human being, you have a different way to cope with that loss and it's definitely acceptable and coherent to mourn longer than just a year. I hope this helped. xx
Profile: McIntoshP
McIntoshP on Jan 22, 2017
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Grief is subjective. Emotions are subjective. People have different ways of dealing with things in their life, and nobody has claim over who can be the 'saddest'. Their way of dealing may be very different to yours, and although they seem like they're doing better they may not be. You can take as long as you need to process how you are feeling, as long as it doesn't start eating at your overall wellbeing. Loss can be incredibly difficult to deal with and it isn't something that can just be brushed aside. As long as you're working to heal yourself and you're aware that you're still grieving (as opposed to losing touch with your emotions), you are doing great. If it feels overwhelming, you have all of us here at 7 Cups to speak to, and perhaps if you speak to other mourners you ca suggest ways that you're recovering from the loss and help one another begin to feel whole again.
Profile: beautifulturtle
beautifulturtle on Jan 25, 2017
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Absolutely!! Your feelings are entirely valid!! Take as much time as you need to feel better, you can't force recovery
Profile: Melody293
Melody293 on Feb 1, 2017
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Everybody copes with grief differently. Your feelings are no less important or justifiable just because somebody is already feeling better. You have every right to mourn your friend.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jun 12, 2017
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Everybody mourns differently. Just because you don't see their mourning doesn't mean they aren't.
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