Why am I not good enough for my parents?

Parents often project certain expectations on their children because they believe that their children should be great and achieve the things they themselves weren't able to. A lot of times these expectations are set out of love and hope for your better future. It doesn't mean you aren't good enough, you are the best you can be at this moment if you are putting the efforts in the right direction. Usually, being more vocal about your concerns with parents can be a good idea as without communication parents also cannot understand what they are putting their child through. Perfect parents don't exist and neither does the model child and I hope you realise that.

Have you talked to your parents? Do you know that this conclusion is truly how they feel or is it an assumption you’ve made? These are some important questions to ask yourself when dealing with feelings of unworthiness. In a lot of cases, starting the conversation, as scary as it may be, can often lead to answers you maybe thought were different. Try talking, be open and honest, and see where that conversation goes. If in the end, you’re still having doubts, it may be in you to find out why you feel like this, and is it just your parents? Is this a common feeling for you when it comes to others, or jobs, or situations? When do these feelings tend to present? Look at the entire situation in front of you and clearly try to break it down. Only then will you have a path of information to guide you to the answers:)

I'm so sorry you were made to believe that you were not good enough. You are good enough, more than good enough. And its really sad that your parents cant see that because even though i don't know you, you seem like you value their opinion and care about them and you deserve to have the make you feel worthy too. You are amazing, despite what they make you feel. You are good enough, repeat this to yourself in your head every time you feel like you aren't because i believe that you are. Take care of yourself. Sending hugs and support.

One of the reasons why you may feel that you are not good enough for your parents maybe because they do not show their emotions much. Many parents are very proud of their children but they do not know the proper way to tell their children or express their emotions well. This does not mean that they do not love you any less, just that you are not aware of how big their love is. Maybe they show disappointment or frustration towards you because they know how well you are capable of doing but you yourself do not realize it yourself. Love yourself and work hard for yourself and hopefully eventually, you will see your parents' love as well.

You can spend a lifetime wondering why you are not good enough for your parents. The truth is your parents came into this world with their own baggage and a lot of times that can get dumped onto a child, or children. It can be extremely destructive to a child, or children to always be trying to live up to unrealistic expectations set by their parents. Many times the parents of a child, or children are dealing with their own self-hatred and insecurities and that can often be the cause of the negative self-doubt that they instill in their offspring. It is hard to escape the trappings of our childhood and the damage that these negative messages can bring. Try to remind yourself that you are important and that you are valuable and make sure that you surround yourself with positive support systems and people who love you just as you are.

I believe that first you should rephrase this question, to something more like "why do my parents think I'm not good enough?" or "why does it feel like my parents think I'm not good enough?" Know that, there may be many different reasons for this. The first thing you must keep in mind is that, if they truly believe you are not good enough for them, that is not on your shoulders but on theirs. Next, I'd love to ask you to think through why you think this. Perhaps write out or reason with yourself why it feels like you are not good enough for your parents. After brainstorming reasons you feel this way, or they think this way, think of how your problem could be solved. Try to speculate if you should have outside intervention, or if you could talk to them alone.

You are very brave to open up. It's okay to feel frustrated and not good enough sometimes. Parents may pressure you at times or make you feel unworthy or even have preferences for your siblings. It doesn't make a nice experience. From my experience, I learnt to love myself and feel worthy and that way prove to them that I am good enough by doing stuff that I love. I believe you will be able to overcome that and prove to yourself that you are good enough. Don't pressure yourself though. Just do things that you love and consider yourself a very worthy and good enough person.

All parents have different expectations for their children. It depends on what your family structure is like, and how you grew up, and the parenting techniques that your parents use - are they very strict? Are they authoritarian parents? Do they have a permissive parenting style? How do you relate to your parents? Some psychologists look at the attachment theories of how parents relate to their children. I have found out in my situation that I always had to stand up for myself and I was always trying to meet my parents high expectations and goals that they set for me. I have found that through self-reflection, guided visualization, calming techniques, and an excellent therapist that it is who I am that makes me who I am. I might never meet my parents expectations but I can only be the best that I can be. If that is not good enough for parents for a child to be who they want to be, and show themselves for who they are, then this can cause conflict between parents and their children. A person needs to try to figure out who they are, and their role in life, and where they belong, and this can be a lifelong journey. It helps with gender expression, cultural expression, and sexual identity and how we approach relationships as well. I have found that certain parents have unreasonable expectations for their children, and others do not set high enough expectations if their child has a disability or mental health diagnosis. You need to find out your own interests/hobbies, and find out what you want in life. Where is the discrepancy of where you are at now and where you want to be? Where do your parents want you to be right now and in the future? This might give you an answer of why you feel that you are not good enough for your parents - it might come down to the expectations of where you are at now, and where they see you in the future. I have found this to be 100% the case in my own life experience.

Good enough is very relative. Sometimes people have a lot of expectations, and it's not your job to meet every one of them, you know? You didn't ask them to have those expectations. Just remember that you know about yourself, whether you're improving or not, whether you're a better version of you today, or not. That's not decided by anyone. Not your parents, not your friends. Just you. So it's not that you're not good enough for your parents. They simply have expectations that you cannot meet, and that's not your fault. I know all this is easier said than done. That not being good enough is a horrible feeling that haunts you all day. But do try to remember that you are good. You are trying, and that is good.

Everyone has their own ideas of what good enough means to them. Sometimes you can waste a lot of your time trying to please someone who does not seem to understand that you are trying your best. Maybe to them, they have high expectations for you that you will never be able to meet. Maybe, they are not good at showing appreciation for you as much as they are able to show things that they wish to critique you on? I know you are searching this wondering if you will find answers to get your parents to see the worth that you have but I am here to tell you that searching to be good enough for someone, even your parents, will only disappoint you. You should be good enough for yourself.