I have manipulative or rude family members. I love them, but how can I keep my distance or create boundaries when they are like that?

Right in my wheelhouse! ;) Emotionally, verbally abusive and very manipulative parents. The "Pickle68" checkoff sheet: Prepare your mind for "emotional battle": -Observe how they treat everyone else in your life. Except when they are trying to get people to bully you like they are, they are usually talking down about others. Don't take it personally; they usually don't have much nice to say about anyone; It's their nature....which brings me to our next item: -These people you speak of are the most insecure people in the world The only joy they have is to make sure people feel as bad or worse than they do. Maybe their parents or elders treated them the same way. Maybe their spouse dominates them in a manipulative way and they are acting out of fear. -Never get in a battle of wits. They will pull you down to their level and then beat you with experience . Just avoid, deflect, defer, ignore, and make every effort to understand THEIR lack of confidence and overall lack of self confidence. Sometimes if there is someone else that is being treated in a similar fashion, you can talk to them about how much it hurts and how no one should be that rude. FINALLY: -If you are a human being and have air in your lungs, you are required to love and show compassion for the people around you but MORE IMPORTANTLY, you are worthy of that same treatment. If all else fails, ensure you always are being treated respectfully. We are allowed to fail, screw up, etc, and to be sure there are times when we must make efforts to make up for past shortcomings, but that's not a reason to be verbally or emotionally abused.

It is a difficult situation when you find yourself stuck in a dilemma between hating them and loving them.The best solution is to stay on neutral ground.Even if they mistreat you, respond selectively.Speak out loud your opinion only when it is absolutely necessary and try to ignore their hurtful behaviour at all other times

You can always try approaching them (when you are both relatively calm) to talk about it, but sometimes people just can't be talked to, especially if they're manipulative or rude. Sometimes they don't realize they're being this way, but sometimes they might just be difficult. If the latter is the case, try to remove yourself as much as possible without being direct about it. Quietly keep your distance or calmly say, when harsh topics come up or things were said, that you aren't ok with being talked to like that, or even just remove yourself.

You can try talking to them. Telling them how you feel. If you feel that they are not respectable toward you after talking with them, or if you feel you aren't able to talk them at all, then trying just walking away from the situation if they make you feel uncomfortable.

Sometimes it takes being bluntly open and honest with the people in your life and telling them how they make you feel. I know it can be hard because you deeply care for them, but sometimes you need to put your own needs first and stop protecting the feelings of others, especially when your feelings end up getting hurt.

I believe you should simply create a form of a passive relationship with these family members. Keep in touch with them occasionally while still keeping a very firm distance. You can do this by simply only communicating with them set times of your choice. Whether you chose to only communicate with them once a week or even twice within a month for example. In this sense you are still showing attention to the family member while still being safe and clear of the possibility of manipulation or rude behavior.

We have to recognize that we are all different and have our own struggles. Sometime it's healthy to take a step back and focus on what is important and best for you!

Try distancing yourself from them when they are acting like that and then speak to them about how you feel later.

It's very hard to establish boundaries with family. Very often, family members feel entitled to your body, your time, and your affection simply because they're family. It's important to keep yourself safe, first and foremost, and sometimes, that unfortunately means doing things in the short run you don't want to do to appease them and get them to leave you alone quickly. But you should also try as best you can to establish your independence in whatever way you can, and always know that your body is yours and yours alone, and your first priority should always be you.

Make poot sounds as they're are being rude or manipulative while talking it will possibly course them to notice what they are doing which is simply talking pooh!