I don't want to talk about my trauma and just want to move on with my life-is this a good idea, and is it possible?
GSager
on
Oct 1, 2014
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Moving beyond trauma, or putting the past behind you, is something that is very individual. While we may lock the beast in the closet and turn to other things as though the trauma is out-of-sight - it may not be out of mind. If the choice is to ignore or avoid a traumatic event, there can be subtle or not so subtle intrusions of emotions into our daily lives that need to be acknowledged, but instead are repressed - putting a lid on it so to speak. But hiding the event in the background is not the same as working through the emotions around the trauma, and so is it possible to just forget and move on?
This depends on how honest a person can be with their own self - and how much self-examination a person is capable of. Many of us, when hurt or violated in some way, feel anger or resentment towards the supposed perpetrator, which is normal. But when these emotions drag on and reappear in other forms such as arguments at work, a depression that can not be lifted, and the constant background noise of the voice in our heads that keeps persecuting us - "I'm not good enough", "Men (or women) can not be trusted", "I am responsible for the trauma, its my fault" - or any number of other "conclusions" that drift into our thoughts and affect our relationships, health and outlook on life - then the trauma is still active and destructive at some level. Being able to look at one's self is not so easy for many of us. Being critical of others or events that have happened to us points us away from the problem. To truly overcome the effects of a trauma will depend on how intense the trauma is / was, and how willing a person is to look at it face on. Some people have that inner strength and self-evaluation to accept that they are being affected and make efforts to heal. They may talk with others, do energy or bodywork, get professional guidance from a counselor or some other method of releasing the trauma. But many of us do not recognize the ability to step outside of our emotions and look at events in a transparent non-personal way. It never hurts to talk with someone who is compassionate. Sometimes friends and family are too close to us to share the details of a traumatic event. We worry that their view of us will change. Talking is a powerful way to move the energy that is held inside of us. As they say, time heals all wounds, but they don't say how much time it will take. One thing for certain - at some point the trauma must be released, through acceptance, forgiveness or replaced with new ways of looking at the event. Getting help from others - even just having someone listen to you and hear you completely can be very meaningful. Connecting with networks of others who share a similar trauma can also help to put a perspective on what has happened. But just ignoring or stuffing a trauma away will most likely cause it to emerge in some other negative form. Only the individual can answer honestly whether or not they are being affected by the trauma still. If so, it may be time to get help moving that stored event out of the memory bank, or to look at it in a new way.
anniemarie3
on
Oct 28, 2014
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Trauma won't just go away. You don't have to talk about it right now. But, when you do feel comfortable talking about it, please do.
SkyeBlue
on
Sep 11, 2014
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Trauma is an extremely hard thing to deal with and of course, moving on is the best thing to do. But moving on without dealing with your trauma is not very good for you in the long run. It's understandable if you don't want to talk about your trauma, and you shouldn't force yourself to open up, especially if your traumatic experience has only happened recently, but once your emotions have settled down and you feel like you can talk, then by all means, you should, it'll really help your emotional and mental health because instead of dealing with the trauma internally, others can help you and you can get rid of all the pressure that keeping it to yourself can bring by talking about it with a few trusted people ^-^
KatieTrancy
on
Oct 18, 2014
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Anything is possible but it would be a good idea to let out you thoughts and feelings on this yes everyone had the experiences but we all can over come them with help
LeiaLovee
on
Oct 18, 2014
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It is possible ive gone through some really bad things in my life but one thing that got me through it was talking to someone in confidence.
LipstickandCardigans
on
Oct 22, 2014
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Moving on is always the goal, and is admirable. But pushing things to the side, not acknowledging or admitting something isn't the way to go. I speak from experience - I kept a trauma to myself for many years, in an attempt to 'move on' and it damaged me beyond belief. Since sharing and becoming more comfortable with the idea of accepting my experience, I have truly been able to begin to heal and to truthfully begin to make steps forward, instead of just thinking I'm moving on when really I'm just in denial. I would advise anyone to find someone, anyone - even if it IS just one person to share with, because this will aid moving on much more than trying just to forget it.
Ayekaitlynxx
on
Oct 12, 2014
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Yes it is possible and yes it is a good idea because you moving on should help you stop living in the past and it will help you live in the present
DeeBee
on
Oct 19, 2014
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If and when you feel ready to talk about it, when you feel a nudge instead, you should talk about it with someone you trust and who you know will help you. Getting past trauma is a very long but possible process.
Anonymous
on
Nov 2, 2014
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Yes, it's possible, however it is not a good idea. If we keep such thoughts bottled up inside of us, they can manifest themselves in areas of your mind and life that you'd never thought possible.
LolliRot
on
Nov 15, 2014
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I have personally felt this way at times. It seems like that would be the easier thing to do to move on right? I was completely wrong. I personally don't think its a good idea because it doesn't really work that way. Feelings from the trauma always find a way to sneak out and then - boom- in a another depression low. I found that actually getting help and talking about my trauma was the only way to actually move forward in life
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