Why do I hate myself so much?

I feel like I am never enough for anyone in my life. My family doesn’t understand me and I just want to prove I am a good person. I have graduated highschool early. I have proved that I can be independent, yet everyone treats me like I am just a mistake. And when someone who has done me wrong or treated me badly is going through a hard time, I don’t feel bad for them. Which makes me feel guilty because everyone deserves sympathy no matter how bad of a person they might be. I hate myself so much because I’m not the person I want to be.

It could be a number of different things. Emotional instability, mistreatment from a young age, mental conditioning. It could be that you're simply a perfectionist and you don't like that your skin feels bumpy on the tops of your arms. It could be anything. I can only give advice on it being a weight issue. So here is my bit on that. And if your daughter came to you, crying with hunger, would you tell her no? Would you tell her she is too fat, she wants too much, she must shrink into society? No. Then why would you tell yourself the exact same thing? You are somebody’s daughter. Be careful not to inhale others' thoughts. To absorb them like a sponge. To house them deeply within you. They will enter, swim through your veins, and enter your mind. They will penetrate your walls and start conversations with your heart. Be careful, for these are not really your thoughts. Don't allow for them to take hold of you. You matter. You're important. You're loved. And you're presence on this earth makes a difference whether you see it or not.

Sometimes there are things about yourself that make you different than what is portrayed in the media. In our society, it can be hard to go against the norm, so you attack the parts of you that don’t fit into it. The world is changing, but everything happens so slowly, as does loving yourself for who are. It’s not easy to accept every blemish, every wrinkle, every trait that makes you you. Even if there are parts of you that you deem acceptable, sometimes it’s hard to see past the parts that don’t fit your picture of a “perfect” person. But the reality is that perfection doesn’t exist and every single person is unique in their way. That’s what makes the world beautiful.

In my experience, hating myself seems to have come from judgment from my parents and others who had influence on me in my youth and in times of weakness. They seem to impress self-hatred into a person because this was done to them in similar fashion. Self-hatred also is part of our society at large. For instance, advertisers tend to use unusually perfect looking models against whom we can compare ourselves. The less satisfied we are with ourselves, the more we'll buy. This may not make sense when we think about it explicitly, but in many cases it tends to work.

Hating yourself, or self-loathing, is the feeling that you are just not as good as other people. You may feel like you are not good at one thing or another, that you are not good at anything, or that you mess everything up all the time. You may be feeling like everyone else is better than you or that you are just a stupid loser. This may be due to something that happened recently or something that someone said to you or it may just be a feeling inside that started for no reason. Whatever the cause, the emotional consequences of not liking yourself can be devastating. It is very important to get to the bottom of these self-esteem issues and identify what beliefs are creating them.

I think you hate yourself so much because you are human. Yes, it is normal for all of us to hate ourselves because we tend to focus more on the flaws we have. This is similar to that one story where a student is given acknowledgement for getting perfect scores in all her quizzes. But she did get a mistake in one quiz and got laughed at. We tend to lose focus on the good things we have or we have done and let the bad things overcoat the good things. I suggest that you start looking for the beauty 💕 in you and start reminding yourself that inner and outer flaws shouldn’t make you hate yourself, as they make you, you.

Two key factors come up in my mind. Comparison and Limitations. We always compare ourselves to each other. Bank accounts, material processions, friendship numbers, followers, etc. This is a natural way to gauge ourselves and our place in this society. Limitations come from us doing jobs for the sake of others. We may hate ourselves for doing it because we are not doing the things we want. Limitations such as chasing the education papers or getting that high paying high stress for the sake of upkeeping your social status. In the end, we will end up exhausted and hating ourselves for it.

In the past, I loathed myself, simply because I didn't understand myself. for a long time I was confused about my sexuality and then due to a very conservative childhood, once I realized that I was bi, I hated myself for being LGBTQ+. I've since come to an understanding and come to love that part of myself, though it's still hard for me to talk about it to my family. Self-hatred isn't a good thing. it's harmful to yourself and to others, who may take your self-deprecating jokes as invitations to make fun of you, which may lead to more self-hatred! if you are feeling that way, you should try talking to someone, whether it be a close friend, family member, or a Listener on 7 Cups.

There are many potential answers to that question, while I truly hope that the real answer is that you don’t. But, one reason might be because you hold yourself to an impossible standard or compare yourself to someone else, an idealized version of someone else that both doesn’t exist and also serves to destroy your self esteem. Such comparison worked in my own heart like a cancer, the feeling of guilt that I wasn’t as good of a son as my older brother was and the feeling of hopelessness, that I would never be good enough. I’ve heard it said that comparison is the death of all joy, and comparison to an idealized version of someone else is never going to have a positive effect. Instead, focus on the improvements, even if you feel that they are minute or insignificant, find the ways that you have grown and base your self esteem in that, rather than how you compare to others.

The reason as to why i hate myself is because i can only see the me of the past and the present,not yet knowing that I can become better in due time. With this fact instilled in ourselves, it is best that we give ourselves a chance to do something for ourselves and strive to persevere through the path we take. May it be filled with pain, sorrow, suffering, and regret, but with opportunities to grow, for us to be a better person overall, and to take self-care as second nature for our own betterment. Then maybe, we will hate ourselves a bit less in the future, knowing that we're making one step at a time to improve. Sure we may still hate ourselves from time to time, it's human nature to be self depreciating, but if we continue to do something, we can accept it a bit more, one step at a time.